This is totally a real post, guys!
It is! Well, sort of. It might not be intelligible, really. But nothing I do is.
First off: I'm graduating in three days. In less than three days, now. I know I've said that before, but I feel like I have to keep saying it because it's still not making any sense to me. I feel like if I don't keep repeating it I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and find out I have a chem test tomorrow. Which. I'm hardly alone in that plight, I realize. You guys just get to hear about it from me.
Related to this (I have a point, I promise), prom happened a few weeks ago. And I went to the stupid prom in my stupid dress, and it wasn't too long before I realized: I was at my senior prom. I was enjoying my senior prom. I was having such a quintessentially normal high school experience that I had to sit back for a moment and think about it. I was a normal teenager. A normal District 4 teenager, no I am never going to let that go so you can forget about it. I mean, after prom we went back to my house and played Portal 2 and watched Whose Line, but for a few hours I was a normal teenager in a room full of teenage normalcy, and the feeling was. Actually not terrible. Strange, but definitely not terrible.
And somewhere, as I was sitting there being normal, somewhere between the pre-prom video that involved a carful of boys singing 1000 Miles and Evan dancing his way into the middle of our circle, somewhere it hit me: I am genuinely, unironically going to miss this place.
Not all of it, of course, but no one ever misses all of everything; I'm saying that I was expecting to miss pre-homeroom seminars on boy bands and DC history and Zelda timelines, to miss a group of friends who saved me from god-knows what, but not to miss the rest, not really. But now that I'm able to count the hours until I'm gone, that's what I've been thinking about.
The rest.
I've been thinking about the time I had a breakdown when I was supposed to give my French speech and Michelle saw me in the hallway and asked if I was okay. I've been thinking about the time that I got called out of English and Robbie did the same thing. (Junior year was. Not good.) I've been thinking about every time Joby hugged me and my sister for no reason and every time I've had a conversation with Anaximander during physics that felt like a real conversation that real people would have. I've been thinking about how Sage recognized my Dr. Horrible costume. I've been thinking about how sincerely friendly Abby was when I ran into her at CVS and I've been thinking about the time Ms. Stanley said, are you alright, you don't seem like yourself, is there anything I can do and I've been thinking about Mr. Kachinski's legitimate interest in my internship project. I've been thinking about how Carolina and Eva and Emily let me room with them in Quebec, and how that might have been the event that set me on the path to where I am now.
I've been thinking about how I went into high school expecting to hate most of it, and how I'm leaving hating very little; how for a girl who isn't quite sure where she falls on the cynicism-idealism sliding scale, all I can remember right now are the small miracles. I've been thinking about how high school, of all things, somehow managed to reaffirm my faith in people.
...All of this is, of course, super stereotypical graduation ranting, wah wah I'm leaving wah wah. I'll grow out of it. I think it's interesting to note, though, that five years ago I would have pegged me as the last person to do something like this, and now here I am.
Huh.
Alsoooo! I know I still have that other meme to finish (which, I'm so sorry, I was honestly in the middle of lunch today when I was like WAIT FRICK I NEVER WROTE THOSE DRABBLES), and I will finish it, but. This is also a meme which I adore. And I've been feeling the love lately, so I think it's appropriate. Give me a pairing and I'll write a love note from one to the other!
First off: I'm graduating in three days. In less than three days, now. I know I've said that before, but I feel like I have to keep saying it because it's still not making any sense to me. I feel like if I don't keep repeating it I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and find out I have a chem test tomorrow. Which. I'm hardly alone in that plight, I realize. You guys just get to hear about it from me.
Related to this (I have a point, I promise), prom happened a few weeks ago. And I went to the stupid prom in my stupid dress, and it wasn't too long before I realized: I was at my senior prom. I was enjoying my senior prom. I was having such a quintessentially normal high school experience that I had to sit back for a moment and think about it. I was a normal teenager. A normal District 4 teenager, no I am never going to let that go so you can forget about it. I mean, after prom we went back to my house and played Portal 2 and watched Whose Line, but for a few hours I was a normal teenager in a room full of teenage normalcy, and the feeling was. Actually not terrible. Strange, but definitely not terrible.
And somewhere, as I was sitting there being normal, somewhere between the pre-prom video that involved a carful of boys singing 1000 Miles and Evan dancing his way into the middle of our circle, somewhere it hit me: I am genuinely, unironically going to miss this place.
Not all of it, of course, but no one ever misses all of everything; I'm saying that I was expecting to miss pre-homeroom seminars on boy bands and DC history and Zelda timelines, to miss a group of friends who saved me from god-knows what, but not to miss the rest, not really. But now that I'm able to count the hours until I'm gone, that's what I've been thinking about.
The rest.
I've been thinking about the time I had a breakdown when I was supposed to give my French speech and Michelle saw me in the hallway and asked if I was okay. I've been thinking about the time that I got called out of English and Robbie did the same thing. (Junior year was. Not good.) I've been thinking about every time Joby hugged me and my sister for no reason and every time I've had a conversation with Anaximander during physics that felt like a real conversation that real people would have. I've been thinking about how Sage recognized my Dr. Horrible costume. I've been thinking about how sincerely friendly Abby was when I ran into her at CVS and I've been thinking about the time Ms. Stanley said, are you alright, you don't seem like yourself, is there anything I can do and I've been thinking about Mr. Kachinski's legitimate interest in my internship project. I've been thinking about how Carolina and Eva and Emily let me room with them in Quebec, and how that might have been the event that set me on the path to where I am now.
I've been thinking about how I went into high school expecting to hate most of it, and how I'm leaving hating very little; how for a girl who isn't quite sure where she falls on the cynicism-idealism sliding scale, all I can remember right now are the small miracles. I've been thinking about how high school, of all things, somehow managed to reaffirm my faith in people.
...All of this is, of course, super stereotypical graduation ranting, wah wah I'm leaving wah wah. I'll grow out of it. I think it's interesting to note, though, that five years ago I would have pegged me as the last person to do something like this, and now here I am.
Huh.
Alsoooo! I know I still have that other meme to finish (which, I'm so sorry, I was honestly in the middle of lunch today when I was like WAIT FRICK I NEVER WROTE THOSE DRABBLES), and I will finish it, but. This is also a meme which I adore. And I've been feeling the love lately, so I think it's appropriate. Give me a pairing and I'll write a love note from one to the other!