Ladies and Gentlemen- Chapter 20
Ladies and Gentlemen 20
***Angst!!
**Please remember that Mr. Heim (introduced in chapter 14) is a 65 year old man with heart problems...he is entitled to being a little corny.
***Bleach belongs to Kubo
What It Takes
"Do you have any last minute questions about the procedure Mr. Heim?" Urahara rounded the foot of the hospital bed, white coat swaying behind him as he made the preparations to move the old man to the operating room.
"Naw Doctor, Doc Kurosaki over there answered 'em all while we were waiting." I blushed at the title he always insists on using and wished the floor would open up and swallow me when Urahara gave that creepy know-it-all grin of his, "Doc Kurosaki? Hmm, that has a nice ring to it, eh Kurosaki-kun? And think, in less than one short year, we can put it on your business card!" He is way to excited about this and I have a feeling that I won't be hearing the last of that name after Mr. Heim's release.
"Can't we just forgo the title till after I graduate?" I'd rather not have random patients thinking I'm a doctor thank you...
"Nonsense! I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are way more qualified than half of these drones walking around here boasting that title!"
"Ah, yes. No need to be so modest Doc Kurosaki-kun, you are after all my best and favorite student!" I knew he wouldn't leave this alone, give Urahara an inch...
A soft monotone voice enters the room, interrupting the conversation, "Doctor, the room is ready." Thank god! I turned to face my savior, contemplating thanking her for putting an end to my torment. But just as fast as she arrived, she was gone, door softly clicking shut behind her.
"Drone in training." Mr. Heim nodded in the direction of the door, convinced his point had been made. Unfortunately, I couldn't really argue with him there.
"Shall we move along then?" Then again, Urahara's overly cheery voice and upbeat rhythm seem a little misplaced in a hospital as well. Maybe he and one of the drones should get together and work on a happy medium.
"Yep, let's get this show on the road! Gotta hot date with my wife when this is all over. Oh and Ichigo, she wants you and that charming fella of yours to join us for a celebratory dinner." Mr. Heim's wife met Shiro just outside the hospital on one of the days he came to pick me up. Once introduced, she gushed for about 20 minutes over how 'cute' we were together, and of course Shiro being the attention hog he is, ate up every minute of it.
Smirking, I get up and prepare to go check on my next patient, "I hope we are not talking about crashing your hot date."
He laughed and looked back at me expectantly, "How about in a few weeks?"
"Sure, that gives us time to work it into our schedules. We can discuss it some more during your recovery."
"Sounds good. See ya around Doc Kurosaki."
"Yeah, yeah, try to stay out of trouble old man."
When they finally turn to wheel him down the hall, I glance back down at the clipboard and contemplate going home sick when I read the next name on the list. Shiba Kaien. Damn him. Stepping into the waiting room I call his name and watch as he stands, slinging a black jacket over his shoulder. He gains the attention of the room easily, dark washed denims, green pressed top, and designer sunglasses set carefully on top of gelled spikes make it look like he just stepped out of a magazine. Oh and did I mention the fake cough that would shame a five year old? Damn him to hell.
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Taking a seat on the examining table, I take a second to fully appreciate Ichigo's attire while his back is turned. The light blue seems to make is hair glow brighter and eyes seem darker. Damn does he look good in scrubs, and probably anything else for that matter.
"Miss me doctor?" He has yet to actually face me, but I think he is trying to cover up the fact that he was checking me out in the lobby. Thank you fashion classes.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Still so feisty!
"What do you mean? I am sick and in need of care." Insert fake cough.
He finally turned to me, pinching the bridge of his nose. "There are people who specialize in the type of care you need, but they're located in Psychiatrics. Next building over." Well, if that's how you wanna play it...
"I can't help that I'm crazy for ya Doc. Ya know, it's not professional to point that out though when I'm here for medical attention."
He rose an eyebrow at that, "Professional? You mean like coming in here last week for a check-up and then insisting that you needed a 'full blown physical'?"
He quoted my loaded words from last time and I couldn't help but laugh, "I never did get one by the way. Don't suppose we could put that on the agenda for today?"
"Strange, you don't strike me as the type who would want what that entails." I was hoping we could get into preferences. Above you or below you, makes no difference to me Doctor Strawberry.
"Attention is attention Ichigo. My body takes just as well as it gives. If you'd rather though, I could always give you the physical...Just for practice of course, so I can do my own. Totally professional." I couldn't help the smirk that formed at the end, just like he couldn't hold back the blush my words evoked.
"Not happening. Now if that's all you came for, you can go." Perhaps that was a little too strong.
"But you haven't even checked me over yet. What if I am coming down with something?"
Ichigo leans back against the counter and crosses his arms, "You aren't. But if you would like a legitimate reason to be here, I am sure Shiro would be willing to help." Ouch, bringing up the boyfriend so soon?
"Ouch, my heart! Doctor-"
His eye visibly twitches when he interrupts, "Don't even start."
"Alright. I am feeling much better now than when I came in. Seeing you is like an instant cure for my ailments."
"Good then get out." I snort at his bluntness and pick myself up off the table.
As we both move for the door I can't help but ask, "So, can I get your number, or do I have to keep thinking of reasons to go to the doctor?"
He smirked and open the door, gesturing me out, "I hope you have good insurance."
Oh Ichigo. If only you knew that your resistance makes me wanna try that much harder.
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Finally getting the bastard to leave and debating on whether I should get a restraining order, or just beat him senseless next time he stalks me, I hear my name called from down the hall. Turning to the feminine, yet male voice, I spot Hanataro jogging my direction.
"Hey Ichigo, Doctor Unohana wants to see you in her office."
Thanking him, I change direction and head toward the head doctor's office. Unohana runs the medical center and is an active doctor as well. She is actually the doctor who took care of me after I fainted on the train, also the first day I met Shiro. I wonder why she wants to see me?
Finding the office door open, I step inside and slip my hands in my pockets to keep from fidgeting. "You wanted to see me Doctor Unohana?"
She smiles at me and gestures to a chair in front of her desk, "Have a seat Kurosaki-san." The smile helps put me at ease and I take the offered chair, the knots in my stomach unwinding themselves.
"I have good news and a great opportunity for you young man. As our top student and a valued member of our team, you have been chosen to accompany Dr. Urahara to the annual medical technologies conference, being held in the United States this year. It is an all expenses paid, week long trip and you would be gone from December 1st through the 7th, set to fly back that evening. I understand if you need time before answering, but know that this is an outstanding opportunity for you to see new, state of the art technology and equipment, and a chance to meet doctors from all over the world. What do you think?"
What? I sat there for a second, wide eyed and in total silence, trying to process everything she just said. When I was finally able to piece my mind back together from the shock, the excitement started making it's way to the surface. This is really happening! I gave her a smile that could have probably split my face in two, "Fantastic! I would be honored to attend. Thank-you so much."
Someone cleared their throat from the door, and only then did I realize that I was now standing and nearly jumping in excitement. Slightly embarrassed, I turned to the door as Unohana spoke, "Kisuke?"
"Retsu, Ichigo forgive me for ruining the moment but if you would please re-take your seat." The euphoric cloud I was in hampered me from realizing what was wrong with this picture. I know it's more than just Urahara's serious voice and...Wait, did he just use my first name?
I sat down, staring up at him in confusion as he walked in, closing the door behind him but making no motions to move in our direction. A brief silence settled, the ticking of the clock drawing my attention to it's hands, 12:34. Then I realized what I had missed and alarm takes over, quickening my pulse, "Shouldn't you be operating right now?"
He closes his eyes and lets out a breath, "After the valve was replaced, Mr. Heim's heart would not re-start. We lost him Ichigo. I'm sorry."
My brain processed his words slowly, like my ears had picked up a foreign language that I was still learning how to translate. It all finally hit home when Unohana somberly asked, "Has anyone told the wife?"
There they were, the magic words that somehow made it all too real. The words that made my throat constrict and my eyes burn. Urahara's voice reminded me of where I was, forcing me to fight back the tears that were sure to fall later, "No, I came here straight from the operating room to inform you of the situation first. And to gather my words before breaking the news."
"Let me do it." My voice sounded distant to my ears, as if there was another speaker in the room and I was merely a witness.
"Ichigo?" Unohana's worried but calm tone, helped me organize my thoughts.
"I've been assigned to Mr. Heim since he walked through our doors. His wife and I have spoken often of many different things and she treats me like family. I should be the one to do this." Proud that I was able to keep my voice steady, I met Unohana's eyes and apparently she approved of whatever she saw, because her next words were, "Very well. You are free to take the rest of the day off afterward."
Nodding in understanding, I turned and walked toward the door, stopping briefly to place a hand on Urahara's shoulder, silently conveying that I knew it wasn't his fault. He smiled down at me weakly, "Good man, Ichigo."
Gathering all the strength I could manage, I walked into the family waiting area and headed for Mrs Heim. She was dressed in her fancy attire, long navy skirt with a matching jacket over a white blouse. Strands of her gray hair had gotten loose of the clip she used to tie her still thick mane back, and were falling in her face as she silently read the adventure book she was eagerly telling me about just this morning. This was really going to suck.
I knelt down in front of her and placed a hand on her knee, "Mrs. Heim."
Recognizing my voice, she smiled and placed a bookmark in her spot before closing the book, "Ichigo, did you finish the days work early? Kyo isn't scheduled to be finished for anoth-" She stopped when her eyes finally met my face, the light now completely extinguished from her own. She knew.
I expected yelling, an anguished scream, anything but the silence I was met with. I stayed where I was, waiting for...anything. Finally she spoke, her voice as numb as I felt, "What happened?"
"In order to operate on the heart, they have to temporarily stop it." She nodded, remembering that as it was explained before the operation. After a small pause I continued, "Once finished, they couldn't get it restarted." I almost choked on the words as they left my mouth, their bitter taste making me want to vomit.
"They sent you to..." Her words died on the air, she couldn't finish the sentence. I haven't been able to say it outright yet either.
"I asked. It didn't feel right, having someone else-"
The first few tears fell from her dark eyes, "Thank you. Thank you, Ichigo." Then the dam broke. Those few tears turning into all out sobs as she dropped to her knees and hugged me. Returning the gesture, I willed myself to stay strong as I held the crying woman in my arms.
We stayed just like that for at least an hour before her sister and a few other members of the family showed up, taking over my role as the pillar of support. Urahara came in with them, handed me my bag, and said he would handle things from there. Sensing I was no longer needed, I accepted the unspoken offer and left the building, no particular destination in mind.
The weather outside matched my mood, dark rainclouds sending a cool light drizzle down, making the air heavy and damp. Walking through the crowds of bustling people, I let my mind wander back through the past few hours and how I reacted. As a doctor, dealing with death is a given. I knew this would happen eventually, but I thought that I would've handled it better. Will I be this way after the death of every patient? Running away from the job every time a life is lost doesn't exactly make a good doctor. Maybe I don't have what it takes. Sorrow gave way to anger, what the hell have I been doing all this time!
Almost as if the weather sensed the change in my mood, the skies ripped open in a torrential downpour, sending those around me scurrying for shelter. I didn't care. The rain beating against my skin was a welcome distraction and cooled the rage in my mind. Falling gracelessly onto a deserted city bench, I let the rain wash over me, the harsh cold water making my body numb.
Old man Heim. I imagine he would take that cane he never used and smack me upside the head if he knew I even thought about giving up my dream. I wonder if any of the others would care. Possibly. None enough that they would try to stop me though. But on that thought,would I have reacted the same way if it had been a different patient? I began thinking through all the patients I have been assigned or in contact with since the start of my clerkship.
It wouldn't have been the same. He was just...different. So confident that I already have everything needed to be a good doctor. He wouldn't want me to stop. That's when I realized something else, "They cared." That old man and his wife were the only one's I've helped who have cared enough to get to know me on a personal level. Depression washed over me again and I laid my head back against the bench, distantly feeling the trembling of my cold body, Mrs. Heim's words ringing through my mind, 'Thank you.' Remembering that, I realized that I made a difference. Even hurting, I covered my pain in that room and provided what was needed. Despite how shitty I felt, I was still able to help someone else. At that thought, I could almost hear the old man, 'And that's what it takes Doc Kurosaki.'
I felt a small smile slip into place then, "Thanks old man."
Slowly, I feel my consciousness slip forward and back, just bordering the edge of sleep. God I'm exhausted.
About to let myself be pulled under, a loud familiar voice breaks through the hypnotic sound of the water hitting the pavement, "What the fuck 'er you doin' out here in the rain?"
"Grimmjow?"