(no subject)
Today I played Adventures in the BMV: Part II. It's been awhile since I played the original. Now I know why. My day would have made a very boring text adventure now that I think about it.
You are at the Ohio BMV. There are lots of people, despite it being the middle of a Tuesday. The line is long, but not insane. They're fairly calm and patient. No one is yelling into a cell phone.
> Check building name
The informational posters all say Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles.
> Stand in line.
You stand in line. The line moves at an acceptable pace. The woman in front of you has a cellphone. It rings.
> *groan*
She answers. After determining it isn't an emergency, she says she'll call back and hangs up.
> :D
I do not understand.
> You wouldn't.
The line moves. It's your turn.
> Request temp packet.
You receive paperwork.
> Fuck
> Do paperwork.
You complete the paperwork.
> Wait.
You wait.
> Wait.
You wait.
> Talk with Grandma about driver's licenses, license renewal, driving tests in three states and two countries, personal height as compared to immediate family, and tendency to write signature as first initial, middle name, last name as opposed to first name, middle initial, last name
You do so. This takes ten minutes. You are called to the desk.
> Go to desk.
The woman wants your paperwork.
> Give paperwork
The woman gives you paperwork (2).
> Fuck
> Do paperwork
> Return paperwork
You are told to wait.
> Wait
> Wait
You are called to the desk.
> give paperwork
The desk jockey tells you to go behind the curtain for your license picture.
> go behind curtain
The lady gives you three seconds warning. The picture is taken. She hands you the temp packet. The photo is shit.
> Shrug. It's a temp.
Take your written and vision test now?
> Yes.
You gotta find Room 16 first.
> Wander
> Look
> Wander
> Look
> Get directions from random passerby.
Finally.
> Shut up
> Follow directions
You have found the elusive Room 16.
> head directly to back desk
> request vision and written test
The officer behind the desk almost snatches your temp packet from your hand. You are asked questions that you have answered three times already about your health and possible drug problems. The vision test commences.
> complete vision test
You take way too long to identify colors.
> Shut up.
No, seriously. I'm surprised the cop doesn't fail you on the spot.
> SHUT UP
The cop directs you to the written test center.
> Begin test
The test begins. As you anal retentively read through the directions, you note an option to skip questions you aren't sure about. Your goal is 30 out of 40 total questions, or a 75%.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> This is going to take for-fucking-ever.
No shit. The questions aren't that hard.
> YOU SHUT UP
NO U.
> Complete the next 20 questions in a blur of road signs and legal minutiae.
You complete 20 questions. In your rush to finish, you answer 5 questions wrong that you knew the answer to, but failed to read properly.
> D:
Yeah. You suck.
> Fuck you
Better women have offered.
> Continue test
You continue the test. Question 35 is about bicycle laws.
> I'm taking a test to get a license for a car. Not a bike.
It's on the test.
> Curse
> Take a guess.
WRONG.
> CURSE.
Should have skipped it.
> I HATE YOU
Relax, you only need to answer 1 out of 6 more questions right.
> answer next question
You know what a right turn sign looks like. See, was that so hard?
> Hate you so much.
The cop signs your papers and hands you back your license.
You have won! See you next time in Adventures at the BMV III: Electric Boogaloo.
> The hell you will.
In summation, I have a piece of plastic that says I can drive with a buddy and donate my innards.
Go me.
You are at the Ohio BMV. There are lots of people, despite it being the middle of a Tuesday. The line is long, but not insane. They're fairly calm and patient. No one is yelling into a cell phone.
> Check building name
The informational posters all say Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles.
> Stand in line.
You stand in line. The line moves at an acceptable pace. The woman in front of you has a cellphone. It rings.
> *groan*
She answers. After determining it isn't an emergency, she says she'll call back and hangs up.
> :D
I do not understand.
> You wouldn't.
The line moves. It's your turn.
> Request temp packet.
You receive paperwork.
> Fuck
> Do paperwork.
You complete the paperwork.
> Wait.
You wait.
> Wait.
You wait.
> Talk with Grandma about driver's licenses, license renewal, driving tests in three states and two countries, personal height as compared to immediate family, and tendency to write signature as first initial, middle name, last name as opposed to first name, middle initial, last name
You do so. This takes ten minutes. You are called to the desk.
> Go to desk.
The woman wants your paperwork.
> Give paperwork
The woman gives you paperwork (2).
> Fuck
> Do paperwork
> Return paperwork
You are told to wait.
> Wait
> Wait
You are called to the desk.
> give paperwork
The desk jockey tells you to go behind the curtain for your license picture.
> go behind curtain
The lady gives you three seconds warning. The picture is taken. She hands you the temp packet. The photo is shit.
> Shrug. It's a temp.
Take your written and vision test now?
> Yes.
You gotta find Room 16 first.
> Wander
> Look
> Wander
> Look
> Get directions from random passerby.
Finally.
> Shut up
> Follow directions
You have found the elusive Room 16.
> head directly to back desk
> request vision and written test
The officer behind the desk almost snatches your temp packet from your hand. You are asked questions that you have answered three times already about your health and possible drug problems. The vision test commences.
> complete vision test
You take way too long to identify colors.
> Shut up.
No, seriously. I'm surprised the cop doesn't fail you on the spot.
> SHUT UP
The cop directs you to the written test center.
> Begin test
The test begins. As you anal retentively read through the directions, you note an option to skip questions you aren't sure about. Your goal is 30 out of 40 total questions, or a 75%.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> Read question, choose answer, read question again to make sure, touch screen the answer
You do so.
> This is going to take for-fucking-ever.
No shit. The questions aren't that hard.
> YOU SHUT UP
NO U.
> Complete the next 20 questions in a blur of road signs and legal minutiae.
You complete 20 questions. In your rush to finish, you answer 5 questions wrong that you knew the answer to, but failed to read properly.
> D:
Yeah. You suck.
> Fuck you
Better women have offered.
> Continue test
You continue the test. Question 35 is about bicycle laws.
> I'm taking a test to get a license for a car. Not a bike.
It's on the test.
> Curse
> Take a guess.
WRONG.
> CURSE.
Should have skipped it.
> I HATE YOU
Relax, you only need to answer 1 out of 6 more questions right.
> answer next question
You know what a right turn sign looks like. See, was that so hard?
> Hate you so much.
The cop signs your papers and hands you back your license.
You have won! See you next time in Adventures at the BMV III: Electric Boogaloo.
> The hell you will.
In summation, I have a piece of plastic that says I can drive with a buddy and donate my innards.
Go me.