Fictionwriters? Why u do dis?
I wrote this and decided it was too harsh for the fictionwriters group -- it's not writers_guild , after all -- but I had to put it SOMEPLACE.
The post in question is here, which links to this story
It's as if this was designed to prod at my pet peeves.
1) A rough or first draft posted for "R&R".
I could have told you without looking that it sucks. I would like aspiring writers to engrave this into their brains: First drafts always, always, ALWAYS suck. Asking for critique on one is next to useless. If you gather from what is said that it sucks, you have received no information. If you're told it's good, you've been lied to by someone more interested in being nice than useful.
2) "No beta"
A beta reader can be helpful. A fresh pair of eyes on a writer's work is what the traditional RL critique group is all about. But many online writers use them as a crutch and an excuse for not editing their own work. Being able to edit your work is an important, probably the MOST important, skill in a writer's toolbox. No writer has any business fobbing it off on someone else. Use a "beta" when you think you're finished; when the work is as complete and as polished as you can make it, to pick up things you've missed.
3) The natural consequence of the above.
Sure, I could point out (among other things) the rampant semicolon abuse in the beginning of your prologue. But why bother? This is something any decent writer will discover in a simple reread, which you've come right out and said you didn't do. So any commentator will have to try and separate errors you'll probably be fixing anyway as a matter of course, from real issues you're likely not to see. This is 1) More work, and 2) less useful commentary for you.
4) Apologizing for the content
Content warnings about sex and violence are one thing, but a writer should never EVER apologize for provocative or offensive material. Ever. Part of an artist's job is to disturb. Particularly if it's to say something important about the subject she's treating.
Besides, it's as if the past two decades in graphic novels and films never happened. "Against religion"? That's not even shocking anymore.
5) Rather poor research
I understand you may be overseas, but that's no excuse. Just skimming (I really dislike reading a first draft in any detail unless it's my own and I'm at liberty to destroy the thing) I see you have a character used to *Manhattan* wandering around in awe when he visits... FUCKING BALTIMORE? That's less than no research. That Baltimore somehow ends up east of New York doesn't help. (I'm guessing you're British. For comparison, imagine if someone from, say, Croydon, who frequents The City, is awed by his surroundings during a visit to Liverpool. Which is now somehow east of London.) If the rest of your research is like this, you have a lot more work to do. (I suspect it is. You won't find Albertson's in New York, for instance.)
The post in question is here, which links to this story
It's as if this was designed to prod at my pet peeves.
1) A rough or first draft posted for "R&R".
I could have told you without looking that it sucks. I would like aspiring writers to engrave this into their brains: First drafts always, always, ALWAYS suck. Asking for critique on one is next to useless. If you gather from what is said that it sucks, you have received no information. If you're told it's good, you've been lied to by someone more interested in being nice than useful.
2) "No beta"
A beta reader can be helpful. A fresh pair of eyes on a writer's work is what the traditional RL critique group is all about. But many online writers use them as a crutch and an excuse for not editing their own work. Being able to edit your work is an important, probably the MOST important, skill in a writer's toolbox. No writer has any business fobbing it off on someone else. Use a "beta" when you think you're finished; when the work is as complete and as polished as you can make it, to pick up things you've missed.
3) The natural consequence of the above.
Sure, I could point out (among other things) the rampant semicolon abuse in the beginning of your prologue. But why bother? This is something any decent writer will discover in a simple reread, which you've come right out and said you didn't do. So any commentator will have to try and separate errors you'll probably be fixing anyway as a matter of course, from real issues you're likely not to see. This is 1) More work, and 2) less useful commentary for you.
4) Apologizing for the content
Content warnings about sex and violence are one thing, but a writer should never EVER apologize for provocative or offensive material. Ever. Part of an artist's job is to disturb. Particularly if it's to say something important about the subject she's treating.
Besides, it's as if the past two decades in graphic novels and films never happened. "Against religion"? That's not even shocking anymore.
5) Rather poor research
I understand you may be overseas, but that's no excuse. Just skimming (I really dislike reading a first draft in any detail unless it's my own and I'm at liberty to destroy the thing) I see you have a character used to *Manhattan* wandering around in awe when he visits... FUCKING BALTIMORE? That's less than no research. That Baltimore somehow ends up east of New York doesn't help. (I'm guessing you're British. For comparison, imagine if someone from, say, Croydon, who frequents The City, is awed by his surroundings during a visit to Liverpool. Which is now somehow east of London.) If the rest of your research is like this, you have a lot more work to do. (I suspect it is. You won't find Albertson's in New York, for instance.)