Along the Forest Road: Chapter 4, part 3

[lytrigian]

The problem is really trying to find good places to break the chapter up without interrupting the narrative too intrusively. I could have fit this chapter into two posts, but I'd have had to chop it someplace unnatural. I'm not terribly happy with where I had to cut it here, but I had little choice.

Comments

[rorarin]

Awww, so sweet! It was reasonably predictable that they would get together, but I have no idea what will happen now. Thanks for updating.

[lytrigian]

I was afraid I'd gotten them together too quickly for some readers' taste, but I didn't want to write a romance novel -- and as you said, it was predictable, so why draw it out?

Bat-Duo is teh cute, by the way. I first saw that a loooong time ago!

[tmelange]

Reciprocal love at first sight, and you were worried about writing a romance novel. LOL

I must admit, I think I'd like this story better if there was an overarching plot. I don't mind there being no tension within the relationship, but having no tension with regard to a plot is a little hard to get into. In the last story, the audience knew that Kit would eventually come into his own, and the brothers would get what was coming to them, and the love interest would meet a bad end. There was tension in waiting for all of that to unfold. Here, this seems like a series of slice-of-life vignettes. There is nothing to become vested in.

But! I'm going to see where it all goes... ;)

[lytrigian]

The plot has put in an appearance only as vague hints and apparently unrelated events so far. It would have been better to interweave it more tightly with the relationship, but I had some trouble with that for reasons of setting, mostly.

[shayna611]

I'm so sick of the typical high fantasy save the world plotline. I'm rather enjoying the casual pace

[lytrigian]

That's the kind of thing I really think you should work up to. Who's going to stick a sword in some kid's hand and send him off to save the world? (Outside of role-playing games, anyway.)