Comments | lyz_nz: crisis management and a question

lyz_nz

crisis management and a question

Aug 29, 2009 19:12

Having had a couple of my friends go through various crises recently I feel like I've been a bit stand-offish and not really 'been there' enough. My only excuse is my peculiar attitude to accepting help for myself, and extending the golden 'do unto others' rule to this ( Read more... )

Comments 5

emsporter August 29 2009, 08:27:43 UTC

Depends a bit on the kind of crisis, but:
I appreciate being able to talk to people, if I have reached the point where I am able to do so. Otherwise, a general "How's it going?" is appreciated, but constant in-my-face "oh you poor darling" is irritating.

I suspect my attitude veers towards the unreasonable at times - T has been quite forthright at me on a few occasions for not asking for help when I did need it - I have a streak of MUST HANDLE EVERYTHING MYSELF and apparently I think that if I can't, I am a BIG HONKING FAILURE (and generally can't talk myself out of that opinion mid-crisis).

So, uh, short version is that with one or two exceptions (T being the obvious one!) I prefer a friendly stand-off, rather than a pity party.

I think.

lyz_nz August 29 2009, 12:26:35 UTC

Uh, yeah - with you on the 'must handle everything myself' thing. We live and learn to recognise the 'uh-oh' point....

emsporter August 29 2009, 12:30:31 UTC

I think the most stellar example of this was when I refused to take sickleave from a new job with a really grotty cold.

Having kept pushing myself, I ended up being signed off for well over a week with bronchitis. Whups...

aj_dot_com August 29 2009, 16:30:43 UTC

I tend to just Go Bear when I am under the weather for whatever reason.
I eat, sleep and try not to be grouchy.
I tend to avoid company (see: try not to be grouchy).

I am fine with people asking how I am, if they actually want to know, otherwise I am happy enough with "Well stay away from me then, I don't want your germs" or "Suck it up you Nancy, we need you for DnD!".

Plus responses of "Oh dear god!" when I show off a nasty rash are always cool.
It almost makes it worth it.

Ok, maybe not.

taikopsycho August 30 2009, 03:31:09 UTC

I find I just want leaving alone, much like you say. I don't like being swamped with sympathy. When my grandfather died three years ago, my boyfriend at the time insisted on 'being with me' all the time, and I hated it. I just wanted to get away from him.

So yea. I like to be alone while I deal with stuff, like how you describe :)