Quick Fic
A quick fic for a bad day. Not sure if I'll post it anywhere but here *shrugs* see what mood tommorow brings.
Harder To Pretend
John/Teyla
G
307 words of angsty unbeta'd crap
It’s different now. It’s harder to pretend, harder to hide behind lines that keep getting blurred.
They both know this as they continue their normal routine.
The routine is simple cover each other’s backs on missions, spar like no else exists and don’t cross the imaginary lines they have so carefully drawn.
But the Iratus bug and Thalen have made it more difficult, they twisted John’s and Teyla’s perceptions. Both times John was infected but it’s not an excuse he can use because he knows better. He knows himself better.
How do you keep up a lie that no one believes? One that you don’t really want to keep?
But how do you break that lie but keep what you have?
Teyla’s not sure what she wants and John’s not sure what he has.
There’s too many uncertainties facing Atlantis, too many questions that just can’t be answered right now but they both know the answers that may never be spoken.
John realizes he can be sent back to Earth on a whim but he can't find the right words for what he feels. Teyla has lived each day like it’s the last but she can’t bring herself to seize what’s waiting each day.
It’s a dance that no one is leading but the steps are mapped out and the steps are followed.
Somehow, knowing they’re both doing the right thing has made the situation no less tense. They expect nothing less from each other.
There are rules and these ones are begging to be broken.
There are consequences they both can’t afford.
It’s not about give and take between them, it’s about getting what they need and ignoring what they want.
It’s simply not enough.
They both have roles to protect people. Sometimes it requires nothing less than perfection but even angels fall once in awhile.
Harder To Pretend
John/Teyla
G
307 words of angsty unbeta'd crap
It’s different now. It’s harder to pretend, harder to hide behind lines that keep getting blurred.
They both know this as they continue their normal routine.
The routine is simple cover each other’s backs on missions, spar like no else exists and don’t cross the imaginary lines they have so carefully drawn.
But the Iratus bug and Thalen have made it more difficult, they twisted John’s and Teyla’s perceptions. Both times John was infected but it’s not an excuse he can use because he knows better. He knows himself better.
How do you keep up a lie that no one believes? One that you don’t really want to keep?
But how do you break that lie but keep what you have?
Teyla’s not sure what she wants and John’s not sure what he has.
There’s too many uncertainties facing Atlantis, too many questions that just can’t be answered right now but they both know the answers that may never be spoken.
John realizes he can be sent back to Earth on a whim but he can't find the right words for what he feels. Teyla has lived each day like it’s the last but she can’t bring herself to seize what’s waiting each day.
It’s a dance that no one is leading but the steps are mapped out and the steps are followed.
Somehow, knowing they’re both doing the right thing has made the situation no less tense. They expect nothing less from each other.
There are rules and these ones are begging to be broken.
There are consequences they both can’t afford.
It’s not about give and take between them, it’s about getting what they need and ignoring what they want.
It’s simply not enough.
They both have roles to protect people. Sometimes it requires nothing less than perfection but even angels fall once in awhile.