Internalized Problems

[m00nie]

I blame myself for things that happen. If I want something from someone, I would try to convince myself not to because I am being selfish. That is why I tend to give, and if I am lucky, I receive something back. That something can be in any form, and it makes me happy when I receive it. If I verbalize what I want from that person, I feel that the

Comments

[dracil]

Well, when you ask something of someone, they could also do it not out of obligation, but because they want to. Besides, if you never tell people what they want, how will they be able to give you something freely that you want?

Also conversely, even people who give you something without you asking them could be expecting some future favor too. Perhaps they expect you to also just give them something "spontaneously" to make it seem like you're doing it out of your heart so they feel better too.

[m00nie]

I'm going to have to use my judgment (in response to your first paragraph).

I'm pondering about your second paragraph. What do you mean by making them feel better if I give them something in return? As in they give me something so that they can receive something from me?

[dracil]

Well, let's take a look at your motivations for giving stuff.

"That is why I tend to give, and if I am lucky, I receive something back. That something can be in any form, and it makes me happy when I receive it."

Your act of charity is not without ulterior motives. You are doing it in the hopes that they return the favor in the future. So, when they give you something out of their own free will, they might actually be expecting to "receive something back" just like you.

[anonymous]

I would just ask for it if I wanted something from a person. Can't expect something unless it's asked.

Getting something from a person when it was not asked for would make me think and/or paranoid: what am I expected to do in return for what I have just recieved??

So if both parties just play their hands all out, there's nothing unexpected and no unspoken/hidden obligations. However, the surprise factor is eliminated. Aiya ya such a problematic issue at hand.

--just my 2 cents