But now I have her (2/?)
When I woke up, I was a little scared to be in a bunk. I was anxious that maybe one of the guys may have drugged me and had done some naughty things to me as I slept. Because yes, they would definitely do that. I was happy when I realized I was in Will’s bed, and if Will wanted to fuck around with me and little, all he had to do was ask. I don’t really know how long I slept for, but it felt nice. I could hear muffled voices drifting in from the lounge. It sounded like they were talking about me.
“I just feel so bad for him,” I heard Jon’s muffled voice say.
“Dudes, no offense, but I kind of want to punch Brendon in the face. Really, can he not see that Ryan is a mess? Ryan was already skinny anyway, but now he’s lost a lot of weight, and he gets hardly any sleep. I don’t know he manages to play shows,” said the next voice, Will.
“He just needs somebody to love. Or, in his case, someone to pretend to love,” chimed the next voice. Spencer?
There was a brief pause. I didn’t dare move, or even breath. I didn’t want to miss anything they were saying.
“I have an idea,” this time, Will’s voice was low and dramatic.
I strained my ears to hear the rest of the conversation, but it had now turned into hushed whispers that I couldn’t make out.
I decided to make myself known and walk out into the lounge. I was feeling kind of hungry. When I stepped into the lounge everyone went quiet, and I was greeted with exuberant smiles from Jon, Spencer and Will.
“Hey Ry,” they all chimed simultaneously. I gave them all a strange look.
“Ugh food, now please,” I mumbled out, walking over to sit on the couch.
Will jumped right up and poured me a bowl of Captain Crunch, my favorite.
“Here you go, Ry,” Will said softly, handing me the cereal and sitting down next to me, our thighs touching.
“Mmm. . .thank you,” I said between bites.
“I was just telling Spencer and Jon about my old friend Shane. He’s going to be coming on tour with us for a while.”
I looked up from my cereal. “And?”
“Well I was thinking that I know he’s gay, and well, you’re gay,” Will said suggestively.
“So we get to have our little gay way with each other, and somehow you think I should have sex with a stranger named Shane - sorry, no stranger, fucking Shane Valdez. You think that because we have the same friends, that Shane and I will fuck and I will fall out of love with Brendon. Am I right?” I asked them incredulously.
“No,” Will mumbled unhappily.
"Then what?" I asked.
"Well, maybe you could try I don't know being, friends?" Spencer asked.
I looked at Jon and Spencer and they both had their heads down. So this was what they were whispering. I just looked at them blankly and wondered what exactly they expected me to do with Shane. I never had any problems with Shane and he had no problems with me, but I didn’t really know him. I just knew him as that dude that was awesome at photography and was fucking the schools photography teacher, Mr. Lebanc.
“So what you’re saying is, I have to hang out with him?” I asked.
Will just smiled. “You don’t have too, but. . .”
“It would make us all really happy,” Jon finished.
“Anytime you want to jump in Spence and help your best friend, be my guest,” I mumbled.
“I would if it was going to do you any harm, but it’s not. Just think how pissed Audrey is going to be having to share the bathroom with another gay guy,” Spencer said, grinning.
A small smile slowly crept onto my face, “So I need to get him in my bed within a day?”
”No, he’s staying on our bus anyway. We have the room,” Jon said.
“Have you told Brendon or Audrey yet?” I asked.
“God no!” Jon laughed.
“When is he coming?” I asked.
“45 minutes,” Will mumbled.
I laughed and gave all three of them a hug. As much as I had been depressed for a year for losing Brendon, I had friends who were willing to call in someone to un-depress me. I finished my cereal and walked back to our bus with Jon and Spencer on my heels.
I got onto the bus and saw Audrey sleeping on the couch while Brendon typed away on his laptop. I sighed and headed straight to the bunks, but Brendon caught my wrist.
It was like an electric shock going through my body. I missed his touch, his lips, even his smell. God, did I miss him, a lot.
“We need to talk,” he said, never taking his eyes off the screen.
“No, because I have nothing to say to you.”
I tried to walk away but his grip tightened.
“Well then you can listen to me talk,” he said. Spencer and Jon walked around us to get into their bunks. So much for helping.
“Brendon, I said no! Whatever you pronounce won’t denote a thing to me.”
“Ryan. Christ, stop with the words and just fucking listen to me!” Brendon cried.
“Aww. . . is my terminology turning you on again? Do you like my vast vocabulary Brendon?” I asked, looking straight into his eyes and smirking.
Brendon didn’t let go of me until the sound of knocking on the door startled him. He finally took his hand off of my wrist, and I could already feel a bruise forming. I gave him a sly smirk and went to the door. I looked down at my watch and saw it was quarter to 12 and maybe Shane was early.
Shane was at the door with a smug grin on his face and automatically I wanted to slap it off his face. He was early and I was given no time to prep myself for his arrival. For one, I looked like shit considering i was in my pajamas pants and a ratty t-shirt, and two WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH!? Brendon was sitting at the table waiting for me to come back and I had Shane waiting for me to say something, honestly all I wanted to do was run away.
“Hey Ryan! Man it’s been a while since I last saw you,” Shane said excitedly.
“Yeah, hey listen, can you just go along with what I’m about to do?” I asked quietly.
“Sure.”
He bounded up the three small steps and took my hand on the way. He understood what I meant. Phew.
“I’ve missed you Ry; it has been way to long,” he added seductively when he was in ear shot of Brendon.
We were standing in the middle of the lounge with Spencer and Jon peering through the bunk doors. Brendon was staring right at us, although Audrey was oblivious. I was all too aware of everyone looking at Shane and I too realized it was quiet. So I seized the moment and kissed Shane. It wasn’t the same. It was never the same. No lips ever felt the same, or right for that matter. Nothing meshed together anymore.
It was a short kiss and I never wanted to do it again. When I pulled away from Shane, I faked a smile and led him to the bunks. Jon and Spencer were sitting on Spencer’s bunk. I sat down on mine and sighed. Shane sat down next to me.
“How bad did he hurt you?” Shane asked.
"A lot, I don’t really want to talk about. Honestly Shane, if you really want to know more, you should ask Spencer or Jon. Or Will,” I replied.
“It was a rhetorical question. Will already explained to me what happened. I know you’re not going to love me or even fuck me. I’m just here to make the asshole see what he’s missing,” Shane said with an evil smile.
I groaned in annoyance, “You two knew about this?” I asked Jon and Spencer.
Jon’s eyes shifted to Spencer, and Spencer was avoiding my eyes, “Well...”
“Of course they knew. Will told them when I was on the phone with him,” Shane said, as if it were obvious.
“God do I hate you two,” I said to them, shooting them dirty looks.
“On the contrary, I’m sure you love them,” Shane said, smiling.
“Piss off.”
I lay back on my bed and lit a cigarette up, thinking of all the ways to get back at Will, Spencer, and Jon.
A/N THE FIFTH TIME MAYBE!. It's taken me awhile to get this posted if it does, anyway I never enjoy my second chapter, but reviews are enjoyable anyway.