jij snapt het. ik zit gewoon te janken bij het nieuws s'-ochtends. net alsof dat wat goedmaakt. niks. alleen maar meer water. ik trek het me echt aan. moeder natuur is kwaad op ons.
het was ergens symbolisch (en beangstigend en verlammend) dat het zo met de kerst gebeurde. maar ik heb beloofd om nergens meer god bij te betrekken, minstens tot het eind van dit jaar.
strange how people feel guilty for being happy when an immense tragedy like this happens, but everyday people suffer and starve and go without water. hardly anyone bats an eye. this is not directed at you, just in general. i am also guilty of feeling shame now more then the other days, and everyday i bet everyday counts.
i know. during the 5 minutes of silence bc of the twin tower attack i had to laugh. it was a small, quiet laugh, because of the 1000 students around me, acting so seriously while they were actually thinking of their sex lives, but it was enough for my friends then to not talk to me for a week. but i have never felt guilty for that moment. i had to laugh because of their hypocrisy and because i didn't see a reason to not laugh at that moment and dó laugh after and before the 5 minutes silence. i deal more consiously with the sorrow of the world every day, it's a everlasting conflict and sometimes i don't even think i deserve to live. i would try to change, myself and the world, but i've lost my faith.
yes, i am hypocrite. but at least i realize it.
oh well. it's all good, and it's all bad. i'm bad in expressing myself in english and i am amazed you got what I was saying in dutch ; )
all i can think about in times like those is 'who is everybody kidding?'. like spending however many seconds in silence is actually going to do something productive and enforce positive action.
not that i do anything either, you know? but atleast i don't believe that closing my eyes for 30 seconds while contemplating lunch while pretending to care is going make me a better person.
but what am i supposed to do? get on the next plane there and give up my life in order to make hardly any difference. i think i am on the right track so that in the future, i can help people that need it. i think maybe i am headed in the right direction, but i might just be naive.
but it bothers me unbelievably, i seriously want to slice off the part of my brain that dares complain of hunger when the last time i ate a meal was 3 hours ago.
sorry, i'm rambling, i'll stop now.
oh and, i'm hardly that good. anita translated this for me.
Normaal zou 3000 doden slechts terloops gemeld worden in het journaal, als het een of ander derde wereldland betreft waar de gebouwen toch niet zo stevig zijn en aardbevingen vaker voorkomen. Dan is het ineens in amerika (waar ze toch maar voor de helft meetellen, dus het waren maar 1500 doden) en dan is het ineens erg.
Ik kreeg gewoon fatsoenlijk een erectie van die vliegtuiglandingen.
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ik zit gewoon te janken bij het nieuws s'-ochtends.
net alsof dat wat goedmaakt. niks. alleen maar meer water.
ik trek het me echt aan.
moeder natuur is kwaad op ons.
: (
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let's see what bush is going to do about this !
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symbolisme, lot, apocalyps. ik weet het verschil niet meer.
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2e kerstdag vorig jaar
Iran aardbeving
makes you wonder ey?
(en mijh zoon is jarig 2e kerstdag)
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strange how people feel guilty for being happy when an immense tragedy like this happens, but everyday people suffer and starve and go without water. hardly anyone bats an eye. this is not directed at you, just in general. i am also guilty of feeling shame now more then the other days, and everyday i bet everyday counts.
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yes, i am hypocrite. but at least i realize it.
oh well. it's all good, and it's all bad. i'm bad in expressing myself in english and i am amazed you got what I was saying in dutch ; )
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all i can think about in times like those is 'who is everybody kidding?'. like spending however many seconds in silence is actually going to do something productive and enforce positive action.
not that i do anything either, you know? but atleast i don't believe that closing my eyes for 30 seconds while contemplating lunch while pretending to care is going make me a better person.
but what am i supposed to do? get on the next plane there and give up my life in order to make hardly any difference. i think i am on the right track so that in the future, i can help people that need it. i think maybe i am headed in the right direction, but i might just be naive.
but it bothers me unbelievably, i seriously want to slice off the part of my brain that dares complain of hunger when the last time i ate a meal was 3 hours ago.
sorry, i'm rambling, i'll stop now.
oh and, i'm hardly that good. anita translated this for me.
:)
Reply
Normaal zou 3000 doden slechts terloops gemeld worden in het journaal, als het een of ander derde wereldland betreft waar de gebouwen toch niet zo stevig zijn en aardbevingen vaker voorkomen. Dan is het ineens in amerika (waar ze toch maar voor de helft meetellen, dus het waren maar 1500 doden) en dan is het ineens erg.
Ik kreeg gewoon fatsoenlijk een erectie van die vliegtuiglandingen.
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