(Untitled)
Arthur pushed open the door to his quarters, and leaned against the door tiredly. He smiled slightly, seeing Lancelot asleep in his bed, happy that the man was actually resting himself. He had been afraid that if he asked the knight to remain in his rooms, that Lancelot would wait up for him, and get worse
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"How'd it go?" He whispered softly, watching Arthur's reaction. "That bad?"
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"Let's just say that if I was in charge of this whole garrison, things would happen a lot faster."
He blew out a breath, and levered himself to a sitting position, head resting on the headboard behind him. Crossing his arms, he contemplated Lancelot's torso.
He twisted his mouth as he thought.
"....how are you, really?" he asked at last.
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"I was worried. I'm glad you're back." He shifted a bit more until he could see Arthur's face before running his hand slightly hesitantly down the arm and threading his fingers through Arthur's.
"Did you get that ankle seen to?"
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"Yes. It's fine," he answered, not wanting to draw attention to a stupid mistake on his part.
"And we had no trouble. And that's what disturbs me," he added, his eyebrows drawing together, the lines between them intensifying.
"That entire village was empty. Not one person around."
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He nibbled the other man's lips, running his tongue lightly against them. "I thought about you the whole day," he admitted, the lines appearing between his brows. "I was certain Gawain would make some sort of comment about my distractedness. Damned embarrassing too," he added, a blush coloring his pale cheeks.
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"Nothing like that, man," he said, "although I see I should have been, seeing as though you can't come up with anything to distract me."
He raised an eyebrow, unlacing the ties while never moving his eyes from Lancelot's. "Would you agree?"
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He pulled himself closer, one hand in Arthur's hair and the other around his neck as he leant in, tugging lightly on Arthur's ear with his teeth. "I just want to know what you want. How would you like me, Arthur?"
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Should have known he'd notice.
"Sorry," he whispered, looking back again and moving closer to Arthur, slipping his hand back into Arthur's hair and letting Arthur kiss him again.
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His body responded almost immediately, and he squirmed against Lancelot, trying to get some relief in the minute friction.
"I'm going to go on lots more reconaissance without you if this is my reward," he joked huskily.
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Lancelot ran his hand gently down Arthur's side, rolling them over until he was underneath Arthur, grinning up at him, eyes never leaving Arthur's.
"Was there something you wanted?"
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"I don't need my back watched," he muttered, ashamed still.
He rolled his hips, pushing his erection against the other man's leg.
"Come to think of it, I believe so," he replied, then dipped his head to kiss Lancelot fiercely, all semblance of flirting disappearing from his manor.
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He dropped his eyes, curling in slightly on himself, smiling a rueful smile.
"It's these, isn't it?" He asked suddenly, fingering a bruise on his thigh, poking at it slightly.
"It's these that keep reminding you of your 'duty', your 'responsibility'," he spat out the word, disgusted with himself, laughing a little bitterly, realisation dawning. "I'm just like a walking, talking reminder of everything I don't want you to think about. Ironic, isn't it? So very ironic."
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He approached the bed, and sat.
"If I believed that you were the reason I hold duty and responsibility so high, I would have told you long ago," he sighed. "I love you all the more for thinking it. But don't do that to youself. You went through a horrible ordeal," and he winced slightly just thinking about it, "and the fact you can be yourself so afterwards is amazing. Don't worry about me, Lancelot. I can take care of myself, I swear it. Trust me. Believe in me, and my convictions. The fact that I have you around makes my duty more bearable."
He put a hand out, and cupped the other man's cheek. "Don't forget that."
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"They make you believe that you owe me something, that you have a duty to find out what's going on, to protect me, don't they Arthur? Don't they?" He shook his head, averting his gaze, smiling bitterly.
"I wanted you to rest, to not have to think about those things. I wanted...but then it's me that reminds you. All because I couldn't...." He trailed off, shaking his head lightly again, not knowing how to finish that sentence - without Arthur reacting in some way.
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Sighing, he looked at the other man again, who was obviously deeply upset at himself.
"Lancelot. Don't do me the disservice of thinking that if you hadn't gotten injured, everything would be just fine. I would still be patrolling, and I would still be duty bound to discover whatever's going on outside the garrison walls. It hurts me everytime one of you is injured. I can't help that. And it's not your fault, either, not through some action you did or didn't take. You stood against enemies on your own and survived. That's the best thing that could have happened in those circumstances ( ... )
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"I know I seemed to...jump rather hastily into this," he added, "but just because we haven't had any kind of physical relationship before, doesn't mean I didn't always have strong feelings for you. You've been an important part of my life for a long time."
Arthur noticed that Lancelot looked slightly dazed, and laughed.
"I'm babbling again, aren't I?"
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He slipped back onto Arthur's lap, straddling him again, and burying his face in Arthur's neck, trying to calm his thoughts and sighing slightly.
"I'm sorry - you shouldn't have to deal with this; you should be resting."
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His body stirred with the closeness of the other man, and he couldn't stop the blush that rose to heat his neck and cheeks.
Damn it. Besides, who'd want to rest when he's this close?
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"I'll make up for it," he breathed, nuzzling before trailing kisses down Arthur's neck and shifting in his lap.
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