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[macabreaffair]

i want you to post anything that you want in reply to this entry.

anything.

a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, an opinion, a critique - anything. be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like.

then, put this in your lj to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your lj) have to

Comments

[anonymous]

I would... but I'd be ASKING for people who read my LJ secretly to come out and insult me.

[anonymous]

i think i must interject here, you're getting carried away feeling sorry for youself with these revisions, and gaps in history.

[anonymous]

Sometimes, I wish that I were truly anorexic. Or bulemic. Because at least I'd have the willpower to do something about my weight. I long to be that way sometimes, because I'm so unhappy with my weight. I ignore it for the most part. But there are so many times a month that I can't. That this small part of me is honest and acknowledges this horrible part of who I am. But most of the time, I just give in, and eat. And it kills me every time I sit down and see the bulge of my stomach over my pants. Or when I notice a shirt is a little bit tighter than it used to be. I like to think that I'm above this, that I'm not really this shallow. But, lately I've been wondering. Maybe I am. I could see myself marrying for money. Living in a comfortable companionship, but loveless marriage. But maybe that's just because it's all in the abstract. Who knows. And if you know who I am, by my writing style, or whatnot, please don't talk about this with me. I admit it all to myself. Sometimes. But I'm not ready to publicly admit it to you, to anyone. At

[anonymous]

I am bulimic...and i have no control...scarfing down 3,000 cal in a sitting then "sleeping it off" or throwing it up is no control...its out of control...it takes more will power to accept yourself for who you are, and deal with weight in other ways then to use bulimicy as the answer...I am learning the hard way that it's not the answer, and it doesn't take will power, in fact it takes away will power...I no longer have the power to eat 3 meals a day...last year I got to the point that anytime I would get emotional over something I would get sick..everytime I cried, everytime I got nervous..it was no way to live...but to make it all worse...I am not skinny...I weigh 134 lbs...i'm a 134lb bulimic...and for my short stature 134lbs is overweight...but for some reason binging and purging did not do the trick for me...so now...3 yrs after I got into the habit of B&P dieting, I'm finally breaking my habit...through the use of doctors, psychiatrists and a cocktail of anit-depressants...weight issues is a tricky subject, because your weight

[anonymous]

i think i must interject here, you're getting carried away feeling sorry for youself with these revisions, and gaps in history.

[anonymous]

I think you're hot. Too bad you're a smoker :-P