HOMG DISABLED PEOPLE! WTF?!

[maccaj]

[Disclaimer: I have been having a shitty, shitty week and a half or so where I hate myself and think I'm worthless and blah blah pity party. If I'm too harsh in this post, if you don't like me challenging your AB prejudices, or if I don't do it with enough tact for your liking, I'm sorry. I just don't have tact in me right now. I don't have it in

Comments

[maccaj]

oh, I didn't take it that way at all. I was just catching CNN in one ear and they wouldn't stop with their AB caterwauling, and I needed to capslock about it. heh.

[bookgirlwa]

YES!

And the things that make our lives difficult are the lack of social/financial support, the abuse and neglect, and the prejudices of others. I hope this guy gets access to all the things needed to rebuild his life. (And I wish that the rest of us would get those things too.)

[maccaj]

exactly. And the problem is, when the ABs are so busy pitying us, we can't have the real discussion about those things, because they don't see why we *should*. It's all us and them, all "that's too bad, I'm glad that didn't happen to me," instead of "this person might have to do things differently." If we could just get the latter across to people, we might actually *have* universal access (because people would see us as full members of society, not as "special people" who are a pain in the ass to accommodate), and then fewer people would feel like the only way out is to kill themselves.

Been thinking about you, by the way. Everything you're running into now is why I can't leave home... it's epidemic. My kingdom for an accessible flat not being considered a "special" accommodation.

[shihadchick]

Okay, dude, no, I am a mostly-thoughtless in shamefully many respects about being AB, and I don't find ANY of what you've said in the LEAST bit offensive. In fact, I basically agree one hundred percent with you, and it makes me fucking INSANE when people have that "OH NO IT IS THE WORST THING EVER" reaction. Just- aaaargh. It really does infuriate me to see that attitude because it has to be the least helpful thing in the world to the person/s injured as well as being damn insulting to anyone else already in similar situations be it thought accident or from birth.

*toasts you with a can of RIGHT THE FUCK ON*

[maccaj]

I never for one moment thought you'd be offended, claireness. :) I've said for decades now that being disabled isn't the problem, other people's *attitudes* about it is the problem. The us vs. them, the "I'm so sorry that happened to you but so glad it didn't happen to me"... we can't fix anything when that's how most people see it. There's no dealing with the real issues when people take a "that could never happen to me," stance. Cause the dirty secret is it happens to everyone sooner or later, and then they spend their twilight years going "oh, wait, this *is* a problem," but just like those disabled from birth, they're out of energy to deal.

That's why the disability rights movement is permanently stalled... that shit takes energy, and most of us don't have enough to *lead* a movement... or we haven't got enough to lead a movement when we also have to fight tooth and nail for basic daily accommodations as well.... but fighting tooth and nail for stupid obvious crap is why we need a movement, and on and on.

[shihadchick]

Well, I didn't expect you would, but I like to reassure people of things like that just in case they worry! *g*

And, yeah, exactly. Mrrrrrrrrrrh.

And that part always makes painful sense, yeah. Gah. Fuckssake. Vicious circles are just- incredibly shitty. :/

[_scarlet_ibis_]

I totally understand what you're saying and I agree. I'm not in your position, but I experience this in the form of people talking about fat people as if it has rendered them non-human. Unworthy. Ruined.

And also, as a person who inhabits a tiny circle of people that has never included anyone with a disability... I can tell you that the disabled ARE seen as tragedies and that you have really opened my eyes. I have used you and your ideas in so many discussions about these things. Thank you for that.

[maccaj]

It's all just different brands of us vs. them, you know? "That person over there is different from me, so they must not be human at all." It's such bullshit.

I'm glad to have given you some perspective and some ammunition for discussion. You've done the same for me, so the gratitude is mutual. :)

[dynamicsymmetry]

I don't really have anything to contribute besides angry fist-wavings of agreement. I hadn't read or heard any of the quotes regarding this, and wow. What a parade of fail.

I realize it's not even close to the most egregious example of shitty attitude here, but I can't get past this: "if he were a child, he might be able to adjust, but he's 33!"

Yeah, because at 33 you stop learning and you stop adjusting and adapting and everything you are is basically set in stone until you die.

Wait what

[maccaj]

That quote about 33 being the end of life as we know it is what first sent me over the edge... I was catching CNN in one ear and went "Wait, WHAT?" and figured they couldn't *possibly* have said what I thought they had, and then they said it *again*. And then I googled (hoping to find info over sensationalism, because I really do hope the guy finds his way) and found that other quote, which made me apoplectic. it probably doesn't help that when I was telling mom about the girl with CP who was stuffed in a storage unit, she googled it herself... and mom doesn't know how to use a search engine. She tries to have a conversation with it. So I'm not sure what she typed in, but I do know she came up with *six* news stories of kids with CP who'd been starved or murdered by their parents, *only in Michigan*, *only in the past year*, and every single one of them got a slap on the wrist. Because hey, if you gave birth to this awful subhuman thing, who *wouldn't* want to kill it