Peach is down
Where I would usually put my feelings.
It feels weird, like my mouth is taped shut.
I’m still so sad, and hurt, and depressed re breaking up with and having been abused by Andy. And irked that they claim that I’m abusive when 1) I have analyzed the situations and have expressed culpability for anything I can think of, and subsequently realized some of it I shouldn’t be blamed for. 2) after breaking up I started talking to people about our behaviors and everyone is appalled at them and don’t think I was abusive; that they were gaslighting me instead, 3) even if Everyone and myself misjudged me, that aren’t acting like someone who has been abused. 4) They can’t cite much I’ve done and it generally isn’t anything that is my responsibility. I’ve asked a few times and usually more than once they couldn’t think of anything.
They aren’t even sad about the breakup, according to them, despite how they tried to manipulate me into not taking space because they wouldn’t be able to handle being alone that long. That taking space would be the same as breaking up, and that it was shitty for me to do that, and then immediately trying to sleep with the wrong people the day after they agreed that I could take some space.
I’m really sad and they say they aren’t and it is bullshit.