Disclaimer: The following works best when applied to monogamous heterosexual relationships, though I've certainly seen/felt it work in others
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This is very insightful and interesting! I think it may explain why it is none of my relationships in high school lasted more than a month, and why Sarah and I have been successfully dating for much longer. Iinteresting!
I dunno that this describes most of my experiences well at all. I didn't date much in highschool, so that part is kind of nixed. I went out on one date that was sparked in highschool (I met the person right at the end of highschool and asked them out when I came home from University the first time) and it was an actual date. We dated twice, both of which were the usual formal kind of date. I think most of my friends in highschool who dated people went on actual dates.
In the "real world", though, almost nobody I know actually does the "dating" thing. Virtually every relationship in my local social circle came from the people being friends for a long time and then that evolving into a relationship. This is pretty much exactly how it worked in University for me also, and there doesn't seem to be any notable distinction in style there.
That's interesting. Maybe it has something to do with the age gap we have (13 years), because Benj and I found that it described the experiences of many of our peers quite well.
It may well be. I've found in talking to a lot of younger people that they did seem to do a lot more "dating" and less "we were friends and a relationship developed out of that". I think that a lot of people my age had to hide a lot more from their parents in terms of their romantic life -- things were a bit more repressed, some of our parents could still remember a much more formal time where people were introduced through social and family structures and so on. I've always wondered about it, though, because on television and in the movies it seemed to be that everybody dates, but I knew so few people who ever did the explicit dating thing.
I wonder if to a degree it's also a social community thing, but I don't know enough about your social circle to say. The age thing seems more likely as the majority of the people I talk to about relationships are around my age or older.
Completely true, I did go on formal dates with people from highschool, but it evolved differently. You didn't just randomly ask someone out, on a date or to be bf/gf, you knew them decently well already. And now, its completley opposite. Explicitly meeting people for the purpose of developing a romantic relationship... its kind of weird.
My question, gearing up for the moment when I'll have to shift, is how the fuck do you meet people except as friends? I mean, I have some grasp on the whole "going on a date" thing, and then the whole, "going on several dates" and the "are we together?" confusion and all that, but where does it start? Enlighten us, O MacKenzie and Benj.
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Iinteresting!
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In the "real world", though, almost nobody I know actually does the "dating" thing. Virtually every relationship in my local social circle came from the people being friends for a long time and then that evolving into a relationship. This is pretty much exactly how it worked in University for me also, and there doesn't seem to be any notable distinction in style there.
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I wonder if to a degree it's also a social community thing, but I don't know enough about your social circle to say. The age thing seems more likely as the majority of the people I talk to about relationships are around my age or older.
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after 8 wonderful years, it really doesn't matter because you have completely forgotten what high school was
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