Bad, bad friends and their addictive memes!
SSeriousAAmorousRRelaxingAAmorousHHonorable
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Ewan says it's perfect. So, as revenge:
EEnergeticWWhimsicalAAstonishingNNoisy
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Heh. Now that's perfect!
The darling boy is out in the kitchen, cooking dinner for me (and Rach and Dad, but so I don't have to cook, is my point), while I sit here, with a cat keeping my feet warm, and the laptop heating my - well, lap, actually. And the only thing spoiling it is that Rachel keeps bugging me for said laptop. Curse the day she discovered MSN!
My 4000-word piece-in-progress is pulling together quite nicely - at this rate, I may actually have the first draft finished by the weekend. *isscared*
Its current title is (probably) Out of the Chrysalis - cos Jen's going through a period of transformation and coming out and everything. But she's also rather clueless when it comes to communication, and reading people, and that's kind of the piece's driving force now. So I dunno. Suggestions are more than welcome!
Anyway,
Note: even if you've already read the earlier post on this piece, please re-read the opening sections - I'd like to hear what people have to say about the rewrite.
Out of the Chrysalis
“That’s it!” Jen crowed. “They’re all done! Exams finished, essays handed in, hello holidays, how we’ve missed you!” She grabbed Lori’s hands, swinging her best friend around in a wild circle. They laughed in shared jubilee, Lori’s hands entwining around Jen’s. Her fingers lingered as Jen pulled away, bouncing excitedly.
“Two whole months before we have to worry about a single lecture. And do you know how we’re celebrating?” Lori chimed in on the third note. “You and me, and the bottle makes three tonight.” They sang loud and off-key. An exam official rapped on a window, shaking his head, pointing at the bent backs of still-toiling students behind him.
“So,” said Lori, calming down and re-adjusting her glasses, “Pug’s, is it?”
Jen grinned. “You read my mind. Must be how you pass all your exams so easily.”
“Hey, I’m just smart, and you’re boring and predictable. So, Pug’s it is.” She handed Jen her bag. “Just us? Or do you want big and noisy protection - in case Mark shows up again?”
Jen paused, looking down at the bag in her hands, exuberance fading. “Yeah, Mark.” She sighed. “You’re supposed to stop me dating creeps like him.”
Lori tucked her arm around Jen’s elbow. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do for four years. But you keep skipping the dating part and go straight to the sex - and how am I supposed to stop you then?”
“Hmm. Tranquilisers?” They both laughed. “Maybe not for me.”
“Well, I’ll try and remember to bring the dart-gun next time.” Lori paused. “Will I need it tonight?”
Jen looked at her - she was carefully watching a group of girls ahead of them. “Why would you need it tonight?”
Lori’s voice was light and casual. “Well, for instance, if a certain young Irishman was going to be there.”
“Ruaridh?” Jen shrugged. “He’s nice, and his accent is gorgeous, but I didn’t think he was interested. Is he interested?”
Lori laughed. “I’m supposed to know?”
“Well, anyway, I don’t really think your sofa-bed will fit two people. Not that I’m not grateful for it,” she added hurriedly. “It’s a hell of a lot better than having to go back home.”
“Relax,” Lori laughed. “I’m not going to kick you out. I did the prodigal thing myself, remember? Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” Her voice softened. “You know that.”
Jen smiled and squeezed Lori’s arm. [Uncertain about whether to keep following sentence] The break-up with Mark - less than two months after moving in with him - had been hard enough; she shuddered at the thought of having to crawl back to her parents after her triumphant departure.
Arm in arm, she and Lori headed for the tram-stop.
“Lor?”
“Mm?”
“Do you even own a tranquiliser gun?”
* * * * *
The pub that night was hectic with noise and smoke. Jen laughed, too loudly, at Ruaridh’s joke.
“So, I was t’inkin’,” he said, glowing proudly, “would ye fancy havin’ a coffee wit’ me sometime? After all, it’s the non-datin’ drink of choice.”
Jen felt her face freeze.
“It’s a Buffy quote - I thought you’d know it,” he explained, mistaking Jen’s expression for confusion.
“Ah,” she murmured. She took a mouthful from her drink, and saw Lori, smiling, pretend to aim a gun at Ruaridh, who was looking at her expectantly. She snorted into her glass.
“Are you all right?” Ruaridh yelled, over a sudden burst of music.
“Never better,” she replied.
“D’ye want another?” He indicated her now-empty glass. Jen glanced at Lori again, then shook her head.
“Thanks, but I’m good. You go.” She wormed through the crowd to Lori, who was talking to Em and Theresa. Theresa was absently stroking the buzz-cut on Em’s neck as they listened to Lori. Jen let out a groan as she settled back against the wall on Lori’s other side.
“That boy,” she said, when Lori turned to her, “that boy is trying to get me drunk.”
“Do I need the gun?”
“Hell, no. He tried the Willow-coffee-quote on me.”
“Like Mark?”
“Yeah.” Jen scanned the crowd, suddenly nervous. “Speaking of, should I duck and cover?”
“Mm, I don’t think so. No Balding Wookie so far. Maybe he finally got the message?”
The song changed. Em whispered in Theresa’s ear; they smiled and headed for the dance-floor, hand in hand. Jen blinked.
“So, those two are...”
“Skipping the dating?” Lori finished for her. “Yeah. About time, too - they’ve had a huge crush on each other for months now.”
Jen blinked again. “I think I missed that.”
Lori sighed, shaking her head. “I think you missed that too.”
* * * * *
Jen stumbled tiredly as she climbed the steps to Lori’s flat. “Being drunk is way more fun than this,” she grumbled, then yawned hugely. “Maybe I should’ve let Ruaridh buy those drinks after all.” Lori arched one eyebrow.
“You think?”
“Not much, just now,” Jen conceded. Her feet were aching, and she was looking forward to simply collapsing into bed. She groaned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just remembered, I can’t collapse just yet - I’ve got to make up the sofa-bed.” Jen leaned against the wall, eyes shut, as Lori fished in her bag for her keys. “I so can’t be bothered.”
“Doesn’t sleeping on the unmade sofa hurt your neck?”
“Oh yeah.” Jen sighed theatrically, following Lori into the flat. “Guess I’ll just have to do it, then.”
Lori’s voice was hesitant. “You could just share my bed.”
Jen blinked owlishly at Lori, sensing the conversation was suddenly important. Lori had her head down, concentrating on unbuttoning her coat.
“Uh, that’s okay. I mean, thanks, but I wouldn’t want to disturb you or anything.”
Lori sighed.
“Okay.” They hugged. “G’night.”
Abruptly, amazingly, Lori leaned in and kissed her. Jen’s eyes flew open, wonder-wide, at the sudden flooding warmth. Lori pulled back, eyes hesitant. Jen brushed trembling fingers across her lips.
“Lor...” She reached for her friend.
“Sssh,” Lori smiled. “Sssh.”
“Lor, I’ve never -”
“I know.”
Soft lips, darting tongue, Lori’s mouth at the dip of her neck, the curve of her jaw. Gentle nails stroking her hair, down her nape, and Jen buried her face in Lori’s shoulder, arms wrapping around her waist. Lori’s lips curved into a smile against her ear.
“You still want the sofa?”
* * * * *
Jen woke with her head pillowed in the crook of Lori’s arm. Her own trailed across Lori’s waist.
She stared at the familiar, sleeping face in front of her, long lashes curled shut, mouth sleep-soft, half-smiling. One of Lori’s singlet-straps had slid off her shoulder, leaving the smooth line of bone and skin flawless. Jen ached to stroke it, a yearning that surprised her, but she shrank from waking her friend.
One of her own bra-straps had twisted, digging into her shoulder-blade. Gently, Jen shifted her weight. The brush of Lori’s bare thigh against her own sent thrills coursing up her legs.
Jen marvelled at the feeling, its intensity. She thought back to Mark’s body, pressed against hers, the old revulsion rising once more.
Lori stirred in her sleep, finger-twitch and tremor that echoed deep in Jen’s belly. It should have been strange, how easily her lips parted for her friend, how quickly she trembled. How comfortably her body curled into Lori’s. It should have been strange, how readily her breath quickened at the memory of Lori’s fingertips, running through her hair and down her back and bare arms.
But somehow, now, it was Mark’s heavy hands and smoker’s rank that seemed wrong; his stubble and his hardness and his - she grimaced at the memory - fucking, dog-like thrusting, grunting, eyes glazed and distant, for all the world as though she hadn’t been there.
Sunlight crept slowly across the bed, gilding Lori’s skin. She stirred again, eyes flickering beneath velvety lids. She stretched hard, flexing cat-like against Jen’s body, and Jen felt a fluttering around her hips at the contact.
Lori blinked her eyes open. Her gaze darted down Jen’s body, bra and undies sleep-twisted, then back to Jen’s face. A line fretted her forehead.
“Morning.” Lori’s voice was soft, awkward, wary. Jen felt a swooping grief in her chest.
“Morning.” Her eyes shied away, not wanting to watch Lori apologise, take back last night, walk away.
“Uh...”
Jen closed her eyes against the unexpected eye-sting at thoughts of cooling sheets and fading smiles.
“Well, at least we didn’t skip the dating part.” Lori’s laugh was light, scared.
Jen opened her eyes with relief as she felt fingertips brush her cheek. Lori was smiling, uncertain still - but smiling. “I guess you won’t need that gun after all.”
Something cleared, snapping the threaded tension, and Jen felt warm arms wrap around her as they both laughed helplessly, gratefully, curling into its warmth, letting it taper into stillness.
Jen snuggled further into Lori’s embrace. “So.” She hesitated. “What do we do now?”
“I,” said Lori, kissing the top of her head, “am going to make us both breakfast. And then you,” another kiss, “can wash the dishes -”
“Hah! How about I make breakfast, and you wash the dishes?” She paused. “What kind of breakfast?”
“How’s waffles with strawberry jam sound?”
“Like my favourite breakfast ever.” Jen bit her lip. “But what happens then?”
Lori sighed. “You mean outside?” Jen nodded. Lori picked at the bed-sheet.
“What do you want to happen?”
Jen paused. “I don’t know. I mean, this is all so... new. Different.” She looked up at Lori. “How do I do this?”
“Do what?”
“The coming out. Or something. I mean, I guess that’s next, right?”
Lori pulled back. “What makes you say that?” Her voice was small, hurt.
“God, I didn’t mean - I meant, this is real, it’s good, but I can’t just keep it secret forever. Can I?” Jen held her hands out to Lori, helpless. “Do I have to tell everyone now? Do I have to tell my parents now?”
Lori stroked Jen’s hair. “Tell you what - I’ll make breakfast, and we both do the dishes, okay?” She kissed Jen softly. “And no, you don’t.”
* * * * *
Jen sighed happily, nestling her head on Lori’s stomach. “Those were the best waffles ever.”
“It’s my super-secret recipe.”
“It’s the gorgeous cook.”
“Flatterer.” Lori played with Jen’s hair. “I fucked up when I came out,” she said, in a rush.
“What?” Jen twisted onto her stomach, looking up at Lori.
“When I came out. To my parents. I told them the day I left home, when I moved in with -”
“Lauren. Your friend.”
“My lover,” corrected Lori. Her voice was trembling. “Well, my ex, now, I guess.”
Jen tried to smile. “I missed that too, huh?”
One corner of Lori’s mouth flicked up, but she continued to frown. “I told them as I was getting in the car. ‘Mum, Dad, I’m gay, and by the way, this is my girlfriend, ’bye.’” She grimaced. “When Lauren kicked me out three months later, I was broke, all my friends either lived at home or took Lauren’s side - I had no choice but to crawl back. Dad wouldn’t speak to me, wouldn’t even look at me. Mum tried, I guess, but she kept asking whether I was sure I was gay, whether I’d tried not being gay - it felt horrible. As though they couldn’t love me, just because I was - am - attracted to girls.”
She shook her head, and bent down to kiss Jen. “My point is, don’t rush to tell them. Don’t hurt their feelings. Don’t lose them, or their help, or their love. You can’t replace it.” Her lips quirked. “Although some things come pretty close.”
* * * * *
So. Am rather proud, to tell the truth. Anyway, if people want spoilers for the rest of the story
Jen takes Lori at her word, and doesn't tell her parents about Lori - or anyone else, pretty much. She and Lori have a bit of an argument after Lori tells one of their mutual friends that they're now together - Jen gets mad at Lori for blurting it out, Lori gets hurt by feeling that Jen is ashamed of her (Lori does that, I've decided - she needs at least one flaw, and that's a pretty big one, getting hurt really easily; she's also a little needy, and not good at telling people when they upset her, or what they did when they do. Jen, on the other hand is - as mentioned above - rather clueless, but in a sweet, well-meaning way; I for one have wanted to hit her over the head a couple already, for not getting the hints Lori's giving her. But. She's also a little immature, a little shallow, but still, all in all, a likeable person. I hope.)
When Jen's mother then calls, asking Jen to come home for a birthday dinner - obviously missing her daughter - Jen accepts, and asks if Lori can come along. Jen isn't sure whether she wants to come out or not, but she wants to make Lori feel better. Jen's mum just sounds relieved that she won't be cooking for some strange man her daughter's been screwing for weeks without telling her.
Anyway, Lori accepts - kinda hoping Jen will come out, but enjoying illicit footsies under the table anyway. They're smiling at each other, not picking up on the fact that Jen's mum is saying stuff like "So, what have you two been up to lately?" and "I'm glad to see that living together has worked out so well." They invent a flimsy excuse to go out to the car for a good snog. Come up for air, and there's Mark; he's done the creepy stalker thing for Jen's birthday, tracking her down through a friend. He's standing there, looking upset and angry and (the thing which really pisses Jen off) betrayed. Anyway, Jen and he get into a yelling match. When Jen makes several good points - about how Lori being her girlfriend has nothing to do with him, which is what his problem is really, he can't handle not mattering; how this wouldn't be a problem at all if he'd gotten over himself, and her breaking up with him (all the things I wish I'd said to Ray when he sulked over me going out with Ewan. Heh) - he flounces off. Jen is trembling, fighting tears, Lori hugs her hard, kisses her. Once more (you'd think they'd learn?), when they come up for air, they realise they've been sprung - this time by Jen's parents, who came out to see what all the noise was about. They turn and walk inside without a word. Jen is in "OMG, OMG, what do I do, what do I do?" mode. Lori has gone silent, scared, just holding Jen's hand.
They walk inside. Jen - very awkwardly - "comes out". Her dad - just as awkwardly - hugs her, the whole "you're still my Butterfly and I'll always love you no matter what (but I'm really not comfortable with this - yet; what do I do now?)" thing. Everyone's surprised when Jen's mother just starts to laugh. Turns out she knew as soon as Jen and Lori walked into the house, with the moogly stares and wicked grins, and maybe them accidentally brushing her under the table on the way to each others' feet. And she's just happy her little girl is happy.
That night, back home, snuggled in bed, sleepy-relieved-happy. Lori chuckles. "You want to try the dating now?"
Phew! Loooong post. Now I have to go, before my sister kills me and rips the laptop from my cooling fingers.
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Ewan says it's perfect. So, as revenge:
EEnergeticWWhimsicalAAstonishingNNoisy
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Heh. Now that's perfect!
The darling boy is out in the kitchen, cooking dinner for me (and Rach and Dad, but so I don't have to cook, is my point), while I sit here, with a cat keeping my feet warm, and the laptop heating my - well, lap, actually. And the only thing spoiling it is that Rachel keeps bugging me for said laptop. Curse the day she discovered MSN!
My 4000-word piece-in-progress is pulling together quite nicely - at this rate, I may actually have the first draft finished by the weekend. *isscared*
Its current title is (probably) Out of the Chrysalis - cos Jen's going through a period of transformation and coming out and everything. But she's also rather clueless when it comes to communication, and reading people, and that's kind of the piece's driving force now. So I dunno. Suggestions are more than welcome!
Anyway,
Note: even if you've already read the earlier post on this piece, please re-read the opening sections - I'd like to hear what people have to say about the rewrite.
Out of the Chrysalis
“That’s it!” Jen crowed. “They’re all done! Exams finished, essays handed in, hello holidays, how we’ve missed you!” She grabbed Lori’s hands, swinging her best friend around in a wild circle. They laughed in shared jubilee, Lori’s hands entwining around Jen’s. Her fingers lingered as Jen pulled away, bouncing excitedly.
“Two whole months before we have to worry about a single lecture. And do you know how we’re celebrating?” Lori chimed in on the third note. “You and me, and the bottle makes three tonight.” They sang loud and off-key. An exam official rapped on a window, shaking his head, pointing at the bent backs of still-toiling students behind him.
“So,” said Lori, calming down and re-adjusting her glasses, “Pug’s, is it?”
Jen grinned. “You read my mind. Must be how you pass all your exams so easily.”
“Hey, I’m just smart, and you’re boring and predictable. So, Pug’s it is.” She handed Jen her bag. “Just us? Or do you want big and noisy protection - in case Mark shows up again?”
Jen paused, looking down at the bag in her hands, exuberance fading. “Yeah, Mark.” She sighed. “You’re supposed to stop me dating creeps like him.”
Lori tucked her arm around Jen’s elbow. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do for four years. But you keep skipping the dating part and go straight to the sex - and how am I supposed to stop you then?”
“Hmm. Tranquilisers?” They both laughed. “Maybe not for me.”
“Well, I’ll try and remember to bring the dart-gun next time.” Lori paused. “Will I need it tonight?”
Jen looked at her - she was carefully watching a group of girls ahead of them. “Why would you need it tonight?”
Lori’s voice was light and casual. “Well, for instance, if a certain young Irishman was going to be there.”
“Ruaridh?” Jen shrugged. “He’s nice, and his accent is gorgeous, but I didn’t think he was interested. Is he interested?”
Lori laughed. “I’m supposed to know?”
“Well, anyway, I don’t really think your sofa-bed will fit two people. Not that I’m not grateful for it,” she added hurriedly. “It’s a hell of a lot better than having to go back home.”
“Relax,” Lori laughed. “I’m not going to kick you out. I did the prodigal thing myself, remember? Wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” Her voice softened. “You know that.”
Jen smiled and squeezed Lori’s arm. [Uncertain about whether to keep following sentence] The break-up with Mark - less than two months after moving in with him - had been hard enough; she shuddered at the thought of having to crawl back to her parents after her triumphant departure.
Arm in arm, she and Lori headed for the tram-stop.
“Lor?”
“Mm?”
“Do you even own a tranquiliser gun?”
* * * * *
The pub that night was hectic with noise and smoke. Jen laughed, too loudly, at Ruaridh’s joke.
“So, I was t’inkin’,” he said, glowing proudly, “would ye fancy havin’ a coffee wit’ me sometime? After all, it’s the non-datin’ drink of choice.”
Jen felt her face freeze.
“It’s a Buffy quote - I thought you’d know it,” he explained, mistaking Jen’s expression for confusion.
“Ah,” she murmured. She took a mouthful from her drink, and saw Lori, smiling, pretend to aim a gun at Ruaridh, who was looking at her expectantly. She snorted into her glass.
“Are you all right?” Ruaridh yelled, over a sudden burst of music.
“Never better,” she replied.
“D’ye want another?” He indicated her now-empty glass. Jen glanced at Lori again, then shook her head.
“Thanks, but I’m good. You go.” She wormed through the crowd to Lori, who was talking to Em and Theresa. Theresa was absently stroking the buzz-cut on Em’s neck as they listened to Lori. Jen let out a groan as she settled back against the wall on Lori’s other side.
“That boy,” she said, when Lori turned to her, “that boy is trying to get me drunk.”
“Do I need the gun?”
“Hell, no. He tried the Willow-coffee-quote on me.”
“Like Mark?”
“Yeah.” Jen scanned the crowd, suddenly nervous. “Speaking of, should I duck and cover?”
“Mm, I don’t think so. No Balding Wookie so far. Maybe he finally got the message?”
The song changed. Em whispered in Theresa’s ear; they smiled and headed for the dance-floor, hand in hand. Jen blinked.
“So, those two are...”
“Skipping the dating?” Lori finished for her. “Yeah. About time, too - they’ve had a huge crush on each other for months now.”
Jen blinked again. “I think I missed that.”
Lori sighed, shaking her head. “I think you missed that too.”
* * * * *
Jen stumbled tiredly as she climbed the steps to Lori’s flat. “Being drunk is way more fun than this,” she grumbled, then yawned hugely. “Maybe I should’ve let Ruaridh buy those drinks after all.” Lori arched one eyebrow.
“You think?”
“Not much, just now,” Jen conceded. Her feet were aching, and she was looking forward to simply collapsing into bed. She groaned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just remembered, I can’t collapse just yet - I’ve got to make up the sofa-bed.” Jen leaned against the wall, eyes shut, as Lori fished in her bag for her keys. “I so can’t be bothered.”
“Doesn’t sleeping on the unmade sofa hurt your neck?”
“Oh yeah.” Jen sighed theatrically, following Lori into the flat. “Guess I’ll just have to do it, then.”
Lori’s voice was hesitant. “You could just share my bed.”
Jen blinked owlishly at Lori, sensing the conversation was suddenly important. Lori had her head down, concentrating on unbuttoning her coat.
“Uh, that’s okay. I mean, thanks, but I wouldn’t want to disturb you or anything.”
Lori sighed.
“Okay.” They hugged. “G’night.”
Abruptly, amazingly, Lori leaned in and kissed her. Jen’s eyes flew open, wonder-wide, at the sudden flooding warmth. Lori pulled back, eyes hesitant. Jen brushed trembling fingers across her lips.
“Lor...” She reached for her friend.
“Sssh,” Lori smiled. “Sssh.”
“Lor, I’ve never -”
“I know.”
Soft lips, darting tongue, Lori’s mouth at the dip of her neck, the curve of her jaw. Gentle nails stroking her hair, down her nape, and Jen buried her face in Lori’s shoulder, arms wrapping around her waist. Lori’s lips curved into a smile against her ear.
“You still want the sofa?”
* * * * *
Jen woke with her head pillowed in the crook of Lori’s arm. Her own trailed across Lori’s waist.
She stared at the familiar, sleeping face in front of her, long lashes curled shut, mouth sleep-soft, half-smiling. One of Lori’s singlet-straps had slid off her shoulder, leaving the smooth line of bone and skin flawless. Jen ached to stroke it, a yearning that surprised her, but she shrank from waking her friend.
One of her own bra-straps had twisted, digging into her shoulder-blade. Gently, Jen shifted her weight. The brush of Lori’s bare thigh against her own sent thrills coursing up her legs.
Jen marvelled at the feeling, its intensity. She thought back to Mark’s body, pressed against hers, the old revulsion rising once more.
Lori stirred in her sleep, finger-twitch and tremor that echoed deep in Jen’s belly. It should have been strange, how easily her lips parted for her friend, how quickly she trembled. How comfortably her body curled into Lori’s. It should have been strange, how readily her breath quickened at the memory of Lori’s fingertips, running through her hair and down her back and bare arms.
But somehow, now, it was Mark’s heavy hands and smoker’s rank that seemed wrong; his stubble and his hardness and his - she grimaced at the memory - fucking, dog-like thrusting, grunting, eyes glazed and distant, for all the world as though she hadn’t been there.
Sunlight crept slowly across the bed, gilding Lori’s skin. She stirred again, eyes flickering beneath velvety lids. She stretched hard, flexing cat-like against Jen’s body, and Jen felt a fluttering around her hips at the contact.
Lori blinked her eyes open. Her gaze darted down Jen’s body, bra and undies sleep-twisted, then back to Jen’s face. A line fretted her forehead.
“Morning.” Lori’s voice was soft, awkward, wary. Jen felt a swooping grief in her chest.
“Morning.” Her eyes shied away, not wanting to watch Lori apologise, take back last night, walk away.
“Uh...”
Jen closed her eyes against the unexpected eye-sting at thoughts of cooling sheets and fading smiles.
“Well, at least we didn’t skip the dating part.” Lori’s laugh was light, scared.
Jen opened her eyes with relief as she felt fingertips brush her cheek. Lori was smiling, uncertain still - but smiling. “I guess you won’t need that gun after all.”
Something cleared, snapping the threaded tension, and Jen felt warm arms wrap around her as they both laughed helplessly, gratefully, curling into its warmth, letting it taper into stillness.
Jen snuggled further into Lori’s embrace. “So.” She hesitated. “What do we do now?”
“I,” said Lori, kissing the top of her head, “am going to make us both breakfast. And then you,” another kiss, “can wash the dishes -”
“Hah! How about I make breakfast, and you wash the dishes?” She paused. “What kind of breakfast?”
“How’s waffles with strawberry jam sound?”
“Like my favourite breakfast ever.” Jen bit her lip. “But what happens then?”
Lori sighed. “You mean outside?” Jen nodded. Lori picked at the bed-sheet.
“What do you want to happen?”
Jen paused. “I don’t know. I mean, this is all so... new. Different.” She looked up at Lori. “How do I do this?”
“Do what?”
“The coming out. Or something. I mean, I guess that’s next, right?”
Lori pulled back. “What makes you say that?” Her voice was small, hurt.
“God, I didn’t mean - I meant, this is real, it’s good, but I can’t just keep it secret forever. Can I?” Jen held her hands out to Lori, helpless. “Do I have to tell everyone now? Do I have to tell my parents now?”
Lori stroked Jen’s hair. “Tell you what - I’ll make breakfast, and we both do the dishes, okay?” She kissed Jen softly. “And no, you don’t.”
* * * * *
Jen sighed happily, nestling her head on Lori’s stomach. “Those were the best waffles ever.”
“It’s my super-secret recipe.”
“It’s the gorgeous cook.”
“Flatterer.” Lori played with Jen’s hair. “I fucked up when I came out,” she said, in a rush.
“What?” Jen twisted onto her stomach, looking up at Lori.
“When I came out. To my parents. I told them the day I left home, when I moved in with -”
“Lauren. Your friend.”
“My lover,” corrected Lori. Her voice was trembling. “Well, my ex, now, I guess.”
Jen tried to smile. “I missed that too, huh?”
One corner of Lori’s mouth flicked up, but she continued to frown. “I told them as I was getting in the car. ‘Mum, Dad, I’m gay, and by the way, this is my girlfriend, ’bye.’” She grimaced. “When Lauren kicked me out three months later, I was broke, all my friends either lived at home or took Lauren’s side - I had no choice but to crawl back. Dad wouldn’t speak to me, wouldn’t even look at me. Mum tried, I guess, but she kept asking whether I was sure I was gay, whether I’d tried not being gay - it felt horrible. As though they couldn’t love me, just because I was - am - attracted to girls.”
She shook her head, and bent down to kiss Jen. “My point is, don’t rush to tell them. Don’t hurt their feelings. Don’t lose them, or their help, or their love. You can’t replace it.” Her lips quirked. “Although some things come pretty close.”
* * * * *
So. Am rather proud, to tell the truth. Anyway, if people want spoilers for the rest of the story
Jen takes Lori at her word, and doesn't tell her parents about Lori - or anyone else, pretty much. She and Lori have a bit of an argument after Lori tells one of their mutual friends that they're now together - Jen gets mad at Lori for blurting it out, Lori gets hurt by feeling that Jen is ashamed of her (Lori does that, I've decided - she needs at least one flaw, and that's a pretty big one, getting hurt really easily; she's also a little needy, and not good at telling people when they upset her, or what they did when they do. Jen, on the other hand is - as mentioned above - rather clueless, but in a sweet, well-meaning way; I for one have wanted to hit her over the head a couple already, for not getting the hints Lori's giving her. But. She's also a little immature, a little shallow, but still, all in all, a likeable person. I hope.)
When Jen's mother then calls, asking Jen to come home for a birthday dinner - obviously missing her daughter - Jen accepts, and asks if Lori can come along. Jen isn't sure whether she wants to come out or not, but she wants to make Lori feel better. Jen's mum just sounds relieved that she won't be cooking for some strange man her daughter's been screwing for weeks without telling her.
Anyway, Lori accepts - kinda hoping Jen will come out, but enjoying illicit footsies under the table anyway. They're smiling at each other, not picking up on the fact that Jen's mum is saying stuff like "So, what have you two been up to lately?" and "I'm glad to see that living together has worked out so well." They invent a flimsy excuse to go out to the car for a good snog. Come up for air, and there's Mark; he's done the creepy stalker thing for Jen's birthday, tracking her down through a friend. He's standing there, looking upset and angry and (the thing which really pisses Jen off) betrayed. Anyway, Jen and he get into a yelling match. When Jen makes several good points - about how Lori being her girlfriend has nothing to do with him, which is what his problem is really, he can't handle not mattering; how this wouldn't be a problem at all if he'd gotten over himself, and her breaking up with him (all the things I wish I'd said to Ray when he sulked over me going out with Ewan. Heh) - he flounces off. Jen is trembling, fighting tears, Lori hugs her hard, kisses her. Once more (you'd think they'd learn?), when they come up for air, they realise they've been sprung - this time by Jen's parents, who came out to see what all the noise was about. They turn and walk inside without a word. Jen is in "OMG, OMG, what do I do, what do I do?" mode. Lori has gone silent, scared, just holding Jen's hand.
They walk inside. Jen - very awkwardly - "comes out". Her dad - just as awkwardly - hugs her, the whole "you're still my Butterfly and I'll always love you no matter what (but I'm really not comfortable with this - yet; what do I do now?)" thing. Everyone's surprised when Jen's mother just starts to laugh. Turns out she knew as soon as Jen and Lori walked into the house, with the moogly stares and wicked grins, and maybe them accidentally brushing her under the table on the way to each others' feet. And she's just happy her little girl is happy.
That night, back home, snuggled in bed, sleepy-relieved-happy. Lori chuckles. "You want to try the dating now?"
Phew! Loooong post. Now I have to go, before my sister kills me and rips the laptop from my cooling fingers.