This is ghey. why did i think things would be different here? no, things are different here, but not for me. i feel like crap. it's not a matter of time, and i need to get over that. i need to get over the facts of my life. It's the way it is and i have to deal. i need to be happy for everyone else. this is really pathetic.

today i feel much like i predicted i would last night. but in addition, i feel kinda mad. this is deffinately an attack. i'm going to do a lot of listening tonight in prayer, cuz this sucks.

growth is weak when we try and do it ourselves.

God is the author of who we are, and so it should be He that grows us, stretching us.

stretching is rough, but God has not called us to be stagnant.

Another good talk with ryan, this time with rusty. it's awesome to have guys with insight available to talk with like this. rusty gave some tough advice, but i know it's good. and driving to taco bell tonight with him he had much encouragement to give, with backround to mean it too, so that's awesome. i need to talk to some people tomorrow, and i ( Read more... )

There are ladies here.

Yeah, and Arturo Sandoval frickin' rocks my heart, in a musicly awesome sense....check him out....now!

So, after thinking about it, i think that my idea about not concentrating on girls right now was off base. cuz, those mezmerizing deep brown eyes.....shyeah. i think i was just wanting an easy way out of feeling weird, but that's lame. so, i'm keeping up my flirt and my talking and getting to knowing and it's going to rock. :)

it's interesting how satan works. these past couple days it's seemed like he's tried one thing after another to get to me. i've held fast, by the grace of God. but today i was effected most out of the days, just feeling kinda down. not much, but still down. i've made a descision, but that descision is being thrown back in my face like i'm just ( Read more... )

Two things ( Read more... )

So yeah, God rocks! I'm pushing a 9 across the board, other than my being a little scatter-brained right now :P boo. but YEAH, today has been good :) God helped me keep up my dukes against satan on a number of times and that rocks! and it's good to know i'm seen as a threat, or at least something i'm doing is threatening to satan. i mean, the ( Read more... )