...sitting on top of the world
'can't help looking back' in two parts~
prompt; regret
word count; a.956 b.557
warning; character death
Five weeks after Charlotte’s sixth birthday, Julio and Mark sat the girl down. It was heartbreaking sometimes, looking at the little girl. She had her mother’s nature, her eyes were Julio’s, but everything else about her was pure Ophelia, even down to her tendency to answer to Cobweb more than her given name. Her skirt was one of Phe’s old ones, Mama V had taken it in, made it more suitable for the five year old, and Charlotte adored it.
They were preparing to send Lucia off to college, Charlotte probably taking it the hardest. She was close to all her siblings, but by far, Lucia was the one she trailed around after the most, often driving her eldest sibling mad. Julio knew it was a show, Lucia complaining but always making sure Charlotte knew if she wasn’t going to be home or if she was going out. It made him ache for the days when Phe would smile knowingly at Lucia, when she complained about Merc taking up the space she wanted, when she yelled at her father that he was embarrassing. Because Phe always knew the truth, and she had that little smirk, that twinkle that showed up in Charlotte’s eyes.
“Charlotte, sweetie, we know you’ve asked before, but maybe it’s time to tell you now.” Mark was wringing his hands together, consciously staying exactly where he was and ignoring the flickering pictures in the corner of his eye. Julio was struggling to keep his voice steady.
“About Mama? Why she isn’t here?” It’s the voice, the inquisitive tone, the ring that comes across purely as Phe.
“You see, before you were born, just a few weeks before you were born, Mama had some difficult times. Her stomach got sore, she kept getting what are called contractions. That’s when her muscles all tighten, and usually, they happen just before a baby is born.”
“But you weren’t meant to be born then, so it was just Mama’s stomach cramping.” Mark felt he needed to put something into the conversation, something helpful.
“So why was Mama’s stomach sore?”
“It’s a medical thing sweetie, you’ll learn about it when you’re older. But Mama had to spend time in the hospital, she didn’t like that very much because she wanted to be home with your siblings and us.” Mark grabbed at Julio’s hand, almost letting his gaze drift off, but grounding himself with his husbands presence. “And then, on Halloween, Mama told us that little Cobweb was coming.”
“You were early, six weeks early. It was pretty scary, because you weren’t supposed to be coming early at all.” Mark had peeked, he’d seen a December birth, he’d seen a healthy little baby just before Christmas, taking her own sweet time coming. He’d seen Phe naming her Holly and Julio calling her Rudolph because of a little red stain on her nose from the birth. He’d seen Phe suffering through nine hours of labour to have a natural birth and cuddle her little girl with a bright smile.
“Something went wrong though, and Mama, she had to be rushed into surgery. They delivered you, pretty little thing that you were, we got to hold you while they worked on Mama.” It had been nerve wracking, Mark had been beside himself, muttering over and over that it wasn’t like this, that it was different. Julio’s only way to keep from losing it had been the little bundle in the pink blanket, wrapped up and in his arms, no red nose, no bunched up screaming face, just a tiny little form, swaddled up and sleeping in her father’s arms.
“Mama, she...she lost a lot of blood,” obstetrical hemorrhaging they’d said, “and she went to sleep, she went to be with the angels.” Mark’s head ended up on Julio’s shoulder, hand gripping tighter. “But she gave us your name, and we promised to tell you all about her. She’s watching, just to make sure we do like we promised.”
“But now Lucia’s going away! It’s not fair.”
“Charlotte,” the girl just glared, arms crossed over her chest, huffing slightly and blowing a lock of brown hair out of her face, “Cobweb, darling, Lucia is only going to college. She’ll be back to visit, who else is going to do her laundry?” Mark shifted, letting Julio move to wrap an arm around the six year old. “Lucia isn’t going away forever.”
“Will she come back for my birthday?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I suppose it’s okay then.” Charlotte seemed happy enough with the situation. “I’ll give her back her car keys, and her suitcase, and her shoes. But can I keep the phone?”
“Tell you what, we’ll get you one, and put Lucia’s phone number in there, and you can call her sometimes, okay?”
“Okay!” Pouncing, much like her mother, Charlotte’s arms wrapped around Julio’s neck for a fast hug before she ran off shouting for her sister, leaving Mark and Julio in the living room with tears in their eyes.
“Dios,” Mark was there in a flash, this time shouldering Julio’s head when it fell to his shoulder. “I miss her so much.” They’d brought Charlotte home in a wave of sadness, the children not yet understanding that Phe wasn’t coming back with them. They didn’t even have Charlotte’s name, not until Lucia brought out Phe’s violin and asked to keep it.
“I know, I do too.” And sometimes Mark still saw her; glimpses of her playing on the floor with a baby Mercurio, scenes of her dancing around the kitchen with four toddlers chasing after, a form sitting in the tree out back where the ribbons still lingered. “But you know Phe, she probably is watching, making sure we keep our promise.”
---
“Your Mama, wow, you’re her image, really. I know parents say that all the time, but you are. You’re so like her it’s scary at times. I mean, I see me there, my eyes, my mischief, but then, your Mama always got into her own sorts of trouble.
“I can remember when we were first waiting for you, long before we even knew who you were. I’m not proud, but you were mostly born out of one of my moods. She knew how to get me out of them though, and you, well, you’ve been pretty good at that too, haven’t you Cobweb. It was that stupid registration, it doesn’t matter, not really, but your brothers and sister, they’re Dad and Mama. You and Lucia, you’re both Papa and Mama. Wouldn’t change it for the world though.
“But there she was, consoling me, and then came the swings, your Mama had such unbelievable mood swings. Part of the power, so we figure. It was just like the times before, we knew she was expecting, she got so happy, so playful. It was like she was plugged into something, like she was twice as vibrant, twice as loud. Guess you were already acting out, eh? She was always so excited, the first month or so. Before, we’d always wondered, you know? But this time we knew, we knew that Mama and Papa, they’d made you.
“You were hard on her, different from before, but she always loved pregnancy, Mama’s a lot like Dad in that way. And me? Well, I was out at all hours of the night and day, fetching ice cream, getting jelly, trying to find turkey. I can understand you not liking meat too much, Mama overdosed on it during the pregnancy. Might’ve been the contractions, boy did she have the worst kind of Braxton Hick’s with you, she kept thinking you were coming early, stressed her out a little you did. Dad said you weren’t coming until Halloween, that’s when she started it you know, calling you her little Cobweb.
“Mama and her Shakespeare, we’ve got a little Romeo and Juliet and a little Midsummer Nights Dream in the family. Hamlet is the whole reason she took her name, didn’t even know her real name for years so I didn’t. We knew your name long before you came to see us.
“Course, Mama named you, she took one look at you and declared it and well, who am I to argue. Our little Miss Charlotte. Mama’s violin, she’s called Miss Charlotte, and Mama’s favourite Grandma, that was her name too. Mama’s favourite name, that’s what Charlotte is. You look just like she did in college, back when I first met her. Pretty brown hair, big smile, soft skin. You’re gonna grow up a looker. Dad and me, we’ll be beating them away, you know we will. Lucia’s even warning them off.
“So look, I know Lucia going away is hard, but she’s only going to college, we’ll see her all the time, she’ll be back more than you think. Who else is going to do her laundry? See, there’s that smile.”
“So, Lu isn’t going to be like Mama?”
“No, Cobweb, sweetie, Lucia is going to college. Mama, well, she’s with the angels just now.”
“I wish she wasn’t.”
“Don’t we all.”
prompt; regret
word count; a.956 b.557
warning; character death
Five weeks after Charlotte’s sixth birthday, Julio and Mark sat the girl down. It was heartbreaking sometimes, looking at the little girl. She had her mother’s nature, her eyes were Julio’s, but everything else about her was pure Ophelia, even down to her tendency to answer to Cobweb more than her given name. Her skirt was one of Phe’s old ones, Mama V had taken it in, made it more suitable for the five year old, and Charlotte adored it.
They were preparing to send Lucia off to college, Charlotte probably taking it the hardest. She was close to all her siblings, but by far, Lucia was the one she trailed around after the most, often driving her eldest sibling mad. Julio knew it was a show, Lucia complaining but always making sure Charlotte knew if she wasn’t going to be home or if she was going out. It made him ache for the days when Phe would smile knowingly at Lucia, when she complained about Merc taking up the space she wanted, when she yelled at her father that he was embarrassing. Because Phe always knew the truth, and she had that little smirk, that twinkle that showed up in Charlotte’s eyes.
“Charlotte, sweetie, we know you’ve asked before, but maybe it’s time to tell you now.” Mark was wringing his hands together, consciously staying exactly where he was and ignoring the flickering pictures in the corner of his eye. Julio was struggling to keep his voice steady.
“About Mama? Why she isn’t here?” It’s the voice, the inquisitive tone, the ring that comes across purely as Phe.
“You see, before you were born, just a few weeks before you were born, Mama had some difficult times. Her stomach got sore, she kept getting what are called contractions. That’s when her muscles all tighten, and usually, they happen just before a baby is born.”
“But you weren’t meant to be born then, so it was just Mama’s stomach cramping.” Mark felt he needed to put something into the conversation, something helpful.
“So why was Mama’s stomach sore?”
“It’s a medical thing sweetie, you’ll learn about it when you’re older. But Mama had to spend time in the hospital, she didn’t like that very much because she wanted to be home with your siblings and us.” Mark grabbed at Julio’s hand, almost letting his gaze drift off, but grounding himself with his husbands presence. “And then, on Halloween, Mama told us that little Cobweb was coming.”
“You were early, six weeks early. It was pretty scary, because you weren’t supposed to be coming early at all.” Mark had peeked, he’d seen a December birth, he’d seen a healthy little baby just before Christmas, taking her own sweet time coming. He’d seen Phe naming her Holly and Julio calling her Rudolph because of a little red stain on her nose from the birth. He’d seen Phe suffering through nine hours of labour to have a natural birth and cuddle her little girl with a bright smile.
“Something went wrong though, and Mama, she had to be rushed into surgery. They delivered you, pretty little thing that you were, we got to hold you while they worked on Mama.” It had been nerve wracking, Mark had been beside himself, muttering over and over that it wasn’t like this, that it was different. Julio’s only way to keep from losing it had been the little bundle in the pink blanket, wrapped up and in his arms, no red nose, no bunched up screaming face, just a tiny little form, swaddled up and sleeping in her father’s arms.
“Mama, she...she lost a lot of blood,” obstetrical hemorrhaging they’d said, “and she went to sleep, she went to be with the angels.” Mark’s head ended up on Julio’s shoulder, hand gripping tighter. “But she gave us your name, and we promised to tell you all about her. She’s watching, just to make sure we do like we promised.”
“But now Lucia’s going away! It’s not fair.”
“Charlotte,” the girl just glared, arms crossed over her chest, huffing slightly and blowing a lock of brown hair out of her face, “Cobweb, darling, Lucia is only going to college. She’ll be back to visit, who else is going to do her laundry?” Mark shifted, letting Julio move to wrap an arm around the six year old. “Lucia isn’t going away forever.”
“Will she come back for my birthday?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I suppose it’s okay then.” Charlotte seemed happy enough with the situation. “I’ll give her back her car keys, and her suitcase, and her shoes. But can I keep the phone?”
“Tell you what, we’ll get you one, and put Lucia’s phone number in there, and you can call her sometimes, okay?”
“Okay!” Pouncing, much like her mother, Charlotte’s arms wrapped around Julio’s neck for a fast hug before she ran off shouting for her sister, leaving Mark and Julio in the living room with tears in their eyes.
“Dios,” Mark was there in a flash, this time shouldering Julio’s head when it fell to his shoulder. “I miss her so much.” They’d brought Charlotte home in a wave of sadness, the children not yet understanding that Phe wasn’t coming back with them. They didn’t even have Charlotte’s name, not until Lucia brought out Phe’s violin and asked to keep it.
“I know, I do too.” And sometimes Mark still saw her; glimpses of her playing on the floor with a baby Mercurio, scenes of her dancing around the kitchen with four toddlers chasing after, a form sitting in the tree out back where the ribbons still lingered. “But you know Phe, she probably is watching, making sure we keep our promise.”
---
“Your Mama, wow, you’re her image, really. I know parents say that all the time, but you are. You’re so like her it’s scary at times. I mean, I see me there, my eyes, my mischief, but then, your Mama always got into her own sorts of trouble.
“I can remember when we were first waiting for you, long before we even knew who you were. I’m not proud, but you were mostly born out of one of my moods. She knew how to get me out of them though, and you, well, you’ve been pretty good at that too, haven’t you Cobweb. It was that stupid registration, it doesn’t matter, not really, but your brothers and sister, they’re Dad and Mama. You and Lucia, you’re both Papa and Mama. Wouldn’t change it for the world though.
“But there she was, consoling me, and then came the swings, your Mama had such unbelievable mood swings. Part of the power, so we figure. It was just like the times before, we knew she was expecting, she got so happy, so playful. It was like she was plugged into something, like she was twice as vibrant, twice as loud. Guess you were already acting out, eh? She was always so excited, the first month or so. Before, we’d always wondered, you know? But this time we knew, we knew that Mama and Papa, they’d made you.
“You were hard on her, different from before, but she always loved pregnancy, Mama’s a lot like Dad in that way. And me? Well, I was out at all hours of the night and day, fetching ice cream, getting jelly, trying to find turkey. I can understand you not liking meat too much, Mama overdosed on it during the pregnancy. Might’ve been the contractions, boy did she have the worst kind of Braxton Hick’s with you, she kept thinking you were coming early, stressed her out a little you did. Dad said you weren’t coming until Halloween, that’s when she started it you know, calling you her little Cobweb.
“Mama and her Shakespeare, we’ve got a little Romeo and Juliet and a little Midsummer Nights Dream in the family. Hamlet is the whole reason she took her name, didn’t even know her real name for years so I didn’t. We knew your name long before you came to see us.
“Course, Mama named you, she took one look at you and declared it and well, who am I to argue. Our little Miss Charlotte. Mama’s violin, she’s called Miss Charlotte, and Mama’s favourite Grandma, that was her name too. Mama’s favourite name, that’s what Charlotte is. You look just like she did in college, back when I first met her. Pretty brown hair, big smile, soft skin. You’re gonna grow up a looker. Dad and me, we’ll be beating them away, you know we will. Lucia’s even warning them off.
“So look, I know Lucia going away is hard, but she’s only going to college, we’ll see her all the time, she’ll be back more than you think. Who else is going to do her laundry? See, there’s that smile.”
“So, Lu isn’t going to be like Mama?”
“No, Cobweb, sweetie, Lucia is going to college. Mama, well, she’s with the angels just now.”
“I wish she wasn’t.”
“Don’t we all.”