Comments | mad_mooney: An Interesting Social Experiment

mad_mooney

An Interesting Social Experiment

May 04, 2008 11:20

Recently, I updated my profile information on my Bear411 site to better reflect who I am and what I want out of the site. The hope was that people would read it before messaging me and I would then filter out those who I don't click with at all ( Read more... )

Comments 9

(The comment has been removed)

bookish_cub May 4 2008, 20:01:24 UTC

I'm inclined to agree.

When I see profiles that are really long or contain a laundry list of reasons why I might not like a person, I generally don't bother to read them because I assume that the guy is either bitter, high-maintenance, or a combination of the two. From what I've read in your journal, I wouldn't say that's an accurate description, but I might think otherwise if that profile was our introduction.

mad_mooney May 4 2008, 20:10:54 UTC

wow - you guys are totally proving my point. I can't express who I really am and expect people to respect that? I should just hide everything about myself that doesn't agree with the common gay lifestyle because it makes me "high maintenance"?

Your assumptions about a profile such as mine casts you in a negative light as well...it makes you appear to be a shallow, self-absorbed person.

god forbid someone should be unique or challenging...I guess a guy is only useful if he's got his shit together, there's nothing offensive about him and he doesn't require any adjustments to assimilate him into your life.

bookish_cub May 4 2008, 20:56:37 UTC

I'll thank you for stopping by and ask you to move on quietly.

it will be in point form for easy consumption.

I like people who make me laugh so feel free to try.

I really hate club music, gangsta rap and indie pop.

Tv Shows I find painful...Lost, Survivor, anything CSI or Law and Order

I'll probably piss you off.

If any of this makes me less of a homo in your eyes, please move on.

If you want me to do something with you, then use a little imagination and try to find some common ground with me.

If you have any further questions, ask me. I dare you.You're right. I don't know where I got the idea that you came across as high maintenance ( ... )

Thread 5

anonymous May 4 2008, 19:40:03 UTC

Sounds to me that you put yourself out there and are upfront about what you like/dislike. Speaking from personal expirence my tastes have changed regarding music,TV,movies,etc. And pretty much life in general. It seems as though you are looking for someone that likes the same things as you and I myself would find that boring beyond belief. Im always open for new things. After reading your profile, here is what I know about you: You like comedy and metal,not much into TV,dont do one night stands, and are anti-anything that isnt in your profile. That may seem harsh, but that is how it comes across to me(and possibly others). Im not saying this to be mean it's just my observation.Best of luck with your expirement.

mad_mooney May 4 2008, 19:57:59 UTC

At no point do I say that nobody who has different interests shouldn't bother saying hi....but if all you want to talk about is yourself, if all you want to do is go for coffee, if you think that having nice shit makes you interesting, and if all you want is to have cheap sex, than I'm giving you advance notice that things won't go well.

And I have met way too many people who are that and only that. Not that they have to be, but they choose to be because it helps them fit in....and thats an insecurity issue.

You read that as "anti-anything that isn't (my) profile" but that is merely your inference...its not my implication.

Maybe you should grow a sack and speak to me first before making such assumptions about me, huh?

mad_mooney May 4 2008, 19:49:53 UTC

Well, I must say that I am becoming rigid and set in my ways....although I might say that I'm just becoming more confident in being myself and less willing to sell that out for the possibility of company.

Why should I coddle people on their insecurities when I'm busy struggling with my own?

I'm just laying down my own rules of engagement here...if you're going to initiate a conversation with me, you gotta show that you are willing to meet me on neutral ground, show some interest in me as I show some interest in you and be honest.

I'm not making demands, I'm just trying to clear away all the lifestyle bullshit and conventions and pointing out that people, in general don't think, they just act from instinct.

Besides its not like I was swimming in dates before....in fact, I don't think I've ever been asked out on a date so being a bit of an asshole can't really hurt, can it?

envirobear May 4 2008, 23:19:57 UTC

I've recently revised my own personals, and I sympathize with you. But I want to gently remind you in the friendliest way that personal ads are the intricate dance that many of us men who love men have as the only means to meet each other--we don't have the same social networks as "straights", we rarely run across each other at work, our families and our families' friends don't make efforts to introduce us to "nice boys", and our friends don't have the time, inclination, or interest in introducing friends to friends for dating purposes ( ... )

mad_mooney May 5 2008, 00:32:41 UTC

I actually don't care if anyone replies anymore. I do care if anyone replies by suggesting I come over to his place for some anonymous sex or by inviting me out for coffee ( ... )