still haven't got a new journal, go me
Didn't sleep a wink last night and then passed out around 1:30 on top of Edwin on the couch, slept for hours...dreamed I was back home in Mass, with my siblings, but I wasn't me, I was somebody else who'd just woken up in this bed next to this stranger who was my sister and calling me Madelyn, and it was very weird, going through the day trying to figure out what was up, and Jo's ex was there and treating me like we were old friends, really close, when I never actually knew him particularly well, and my dad was there but he had some kind of special office/study attached to the house with like a fireplace and a secretary, and these two priests from home were there and trying to steal from Jo's ex and I (who were getting lunch, for whatever reason), and finally I got terrified and dragged Jo into the boys' room (and it was weird, because Jo was a teenager and so was I, even though she's eight years older than I am, we were about the same age, and Paul was in his crib, way too young) and tried to explain, and I was holding baby Paul but so was she, somehow, and before I could sort if she believed me or not I woke up and elbowed Edwin in the collar (sorry about that, E).
Which is all a fantastic distraction from my very sick son who seemed okay today, by and large, but still tired and lethargic and dehydrated and the doctor can go ahead and call with the test results, now please. Right now. Any second now.
And at the same time I really, really, really don't want to know. What if a week from now I'm looking back on the blissful ignorance? Ahhhhhh.