Fic: Back to the Beginning [Alice/Hatter]
back to the beginning, alice/hatter, pg.
it was just a stupid fight, and alice never expected that it would lead her back to wonderland. 1970 words.
"Shut up! Just shut up. I can't listen to you anymore," Alice yelled as she threw a sweater to the ground and stormed out of the room.
"Alice!" Hatter called after her. "Alice, come back here!"
He slowly followed after her into the living room of their small apartment. She was sitting on the couch, curled up up in a ball. Hatter noticed that she had put her pink bunny socks on that she loved so much.
"Alice," he sighed, walking over to her.
Tears were running down her cheeks, and she sniffed. "Just leave me alone," she mumbled into her knees.
"Alice," he said again, sitting next to her. The moment he sat down she jumped up and walked over to the other side of the room.
"I'm serious! I can't stand it when you do this! You pretend that you haven't done anything wrong and it makes me sick! You don't even want to try and fix it!" she yelled at him, and then brought her sweatshirt sleeves to her nose. "It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong."
"How can I fix it if you don't even tell me what's bothering you?" Hatter asked, exasperated. He got up from the couch and walked over to her. "I love you Alice. I love you so much I feel like my heart is gonna burst and I'm okay with that. I want to be with you every second of every day."
She turned around, her hair flipping violently over her shoulders. "That's just it! Why don't you ever think about what I want? Maybe I want some time to spend with my friends! Maybe I don't want to hear about 'the good old days,' or that new cute girl at the shop all the time! I'm your girlfriend, Hatter, not just your friend with added benefits."
He stood there, speechless. "It's just harmless conversation," he explained, taking off his hat. "I didn't know I wasn't doing anything wrong."
"You didn't ask," Alice said, tears dripping form her chin. "You never ask. You're just so...stupid," she said, and gave a small laugh as she walked around him and sat back down on the couch. "Maybe we went too fast," she said quietly.
"Don't say that, Alice."
She looked up at him. "I think I'm gonna go spend the night at my mom's." She stood up and walked, numb, back to the bedroom. "I'll see you later."
"Oh, mom, it was horrible," Alice cried as her mother hugged her. "I just...I don't know. He just started again, just talking and I love him for it but I hate him for it and I just snapped."
"Sweetie," Carol comforted, rocking her daughter back and forth. "I'm sorry."
Alice pulled back, wiping her eyes. "It's okay. I'm sorry too. I just needed a little away time from him, I guess."
Carol waited for a second as Alice rubbed her nose. "Can I add my two cents?" she asked.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Can I stop you?"
"I won't say anything if you really don't want me to," Carol said.
Alice sniffed. "I know, I know, he didn't do anything wrong, it's all my fault, why do I always screw up relationships. Whatever. I didn't come here to get lectured," she said, and got up from the couch.
"Alice, come back here. I wasn't going to say that," Carol said, and Alice turned around, folding her arms. "I just want to say that to me, whenever you're around David, you look so happy. And if you feel that you two went too fast, I might not agree with it, but that's okay. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want."
Alice nodded. "I just don't know anymore. I don't know what to do," she said, her voice cracking.
"I'll tell you what. How about I make us some hot chocolate, pull out a movie, and you can stay here for the night, and you can think this over in the morning," Carol offered.
"That actually sounds really good, mom," Alice said. "Thanks."
"Hey, mom, I think I'm gonna go back and see if David's still at the apartment. I think we need to talk," Alice told her mother, who nodded.
"That sounds good, sweetheart." Carol gave her daughter a peck on the cheek. "Be good."
"Yep."
Two buses later, Alice arrived in front of their small, worn apartment complex. She sighed, her breath showing in the cold air. "Here goes nothing," she mumbled, and walked inside. Slightly out of breath after walking up five stories, Alice went to open the door of their apartment. She was surprised to see that it was unlocked. "Hatter?" she called, as she went inside. "I'm back. I think we really need to talk."
Inside was a total mess. Clothes everywhere, the contents of a bag of potato chips all over the room, a spilled bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor.
"Oh my God," Alice whispered. "What happened?" She could feel tears stinging her throat. How could she have known that he would act like this?
On the table was a note. Scrawled on it, in Hatter's hand, was a short you know where I am.
What is that even supposed to mean? Alice thought, as she flipped the piece of paper over, checking over to see if anything was there. Nothing. "Where is he?" she asked herself. Thinking that he was probably at work, she decided that she'd go there next. If he wasn't there, she was out of luck.
The open copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland also on the table made her feel uneasy.
"Hey, is Hatter here?" Alice asked his boss, Steve.
"Nope. He hasn't been here since Friday. Why?" Steve asked, and Alice shook her head.
"No reason. Thanks," she said, and quickly left.
"Dammit," she said under her breath as she finally got out to the sidewalk. "Dammit!" He's gone back there, she thought. To Wonderland.
"Alice!" Hatter called out. His head pounded, and he was a little nauseous, but other than that he felt ready to come back home. "Alice!" he cried again as he entered the apartment. His stomach sank as he realized that she wasn't home.
"Shit," he cursed as he flopped back down on the couch, hearing potato chips crunch under him. "You've really screwed it up this time, Hatter."
Getting plastered, then going out and getting even more drunk, had not been his plan for the previous night. But he really didn't want to stay in that apartment, with reminders of her and everything he screwed up all around. So he crashed at a friend's place, waking up in the morning sad, lonely, and rather smelly.
I gotta talk to her, he thought, and stumbled over to the phone. Awkwardly he dialed the number of her mother's place, and waited for it to ring.
"Hello?" Carol answered.
"Hi! Mrs. Hamilton. It's David. Is Alice there?" Hatter asked.
"No, she's not. She actually went looking for you."
"Where did she go? She's not here," he said.
"She said that the next place she was going to go to was...the place you two first met, I think?"
Hatter's heart sank. "Oh," he said. "Thank you." He hung up.
"Ow," Alice said, her head throbbing painfully. She got up, stumbling a bit, and started to walk. It was pitch black, and she didn't know where she was at first. Her heart sped up, and she remembered that she had gone down the looking glass.
"Hatter!" she called out. "Hatter, where are you!" She felt nervous as she walked forward, still barely able to see anything. She felt stupid for jumping to conclusions, but she could just feel that he was here. And if he were here and never came back again, she'd never forgive herself. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
Alice spun around, seeing two yellow eyes looking at her. "Nothing. Where am I?"
A large, white grin appeared underneath the eyes. "Why, you're in the forest!"
"Great. Which forest? How do I get to the palace?" she asked, rolling her eyes. Just what I need now is the Cheshire Cat, she thought.
"Tsk, tsk. You're a lot sassier than the last pretty little girl to come through here. Why, the palace is simply through the valley, down the stream, across the woods...wait, I think I've lost my place," the cat said, the rest of it becoming eerily visible.
"I'm looking for Hatter," Alice said. "Have you seen him?"
"The Mad Hatter? Hasn't he gone off to celebrate his unbirthday party?"
Alice folded her arms. "I've read the book too, okay? Stop it with the bullshit and tell me if Hatter's gone by."
The grin flattened a bit. "You're the first person I've seen here in quite a while," it answered. "I'm really very lonely."
"That's nice. I'm off," Alice told the cat, and proceeded down the path in front of her.
She walked quite a bit, and was pretty sure she saw a spatula with eyes following her. Soon enough she came to a door. The only problem was that it was about a foot high. Next to it was a small bottle with the label, "Drink Me," on it.
"No way," Alice said quietly to herself. "No."
She looked around. The forest was dead still, not even the trees whistling in the wind. She sighed, walking around.
A loud noise erupted from the forest. Alice's eyes widened. She had heard that noise before, and on instinct began to run. Pounding footsteps followed her, and she tried to run even faster but felt herself running quickly out of breath. The Jabberwock gave another cry, and Alice kept running. "Shouldn't you be asleep or something?" she yelled, stumbling.
She soon tripped over her own feet and kept rolling, unable to stop herself. She groaned as she felt roots under her, and at one point her head hit a hard rock. No longer could she hear the footsteps, but for some reason she couldn't slow down her rolling. Then she felt absolutely nothing under her feet, and her gasp was caught in her throat.
Just in time she managed to grab on to the cliff, but the rest of her was hanging off, dangling in the now strong wind. "Oh my God," she whispered under her breath, feeling tears coming to her eyes. It was just light enough out that she could see that the chasm dipped into nothingness. She was impossibly high up, and it frightened her to death.
She struggled, trying to get her other hand up. The Jabberwock roared again. She scrambled to hold on, but felt herself slipping. This is it, she thought.
A hand grabbed her arm, and helped pull her up. She was breathing heavily, unable to notice who had pulled her up. "Thank you," she said, out of breath.
"You're welcome."
She looked around, surprised by the familiar voice. "Hatter!" she yelled, and threw her arms around his neck.
"I'm so glad I found you," he said, holding on to her tightly.
She kissed him strongly, feeling as if she were about to cry. "I love you. I love you so much that I think sometimes my heart will burst. I'm so sorry," she said, kissing him again. "I'm so sorry."
He smiled. "Me too."
Another kiss. Alice looked up. "I missed you," she said softly.
Hatter nodded. "Me too." With his arm still around her waist, the two stood up. She knotted her fingers through his, holding tightly, smiling at him.
The Jabberwock's roar resounded through the forest. Hatter's jaw dropped. "Well, shit. We better run!"
Running beside him, hands still locked together, Alice began to laugh.
it was just a stupid fight, and alice never expected that it would lead her back to wonderland. 1970 words.
"Shut up! Just shut up. I can't listen to you anymore," Alice yelled as she threw a sweater to the ground and stormed out of the room.
"Alice!" Hatter called after her. "Alice, come back here!"
He slowly followed after her into the living room of their small apartment. She was sitting on the couch, curled up up in a ball. Hatter noticed that she had put her pink bunny socks on that she loved so much.
"Alice," he sighed, walking over to her.
Tears were running down her cheeks, and she sniffed. "Just leave me alone," she mumbled into her knees.
"Alice," he said again, sitting next to her. The moment he sat down she jumped up and walked over to the other side of the room.
"I'm serious! I can't stand it when you do this! You pretend that you haven't done anything wrong and it makes me sick! You don't even want to try and fix it!" she yelled at him, and then brought her sweatshirt sleeves to her nose. "It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong."
"How can I fix it if you don't even tell me what's bothering you?" Hatter asked, exasperated. He got up from the couch and walked over to her. "I love you Alice. I love you so much I feel like my heart is gonna burst and I'm okay with that. I want to be with you every second of every day."
She turned around, her hair flipping violently over her shoulders. "That's just it! Why don't you ever think about what I want? Maybe I want some time to spend with my friends! Maybe I don't want to hear about 'the good old days,' or that new cute girl at the shop all the time! I'm your girlfriend, Hatter, not just your friend with added benefits."
He stood there, speechless. "It's just harmless conversation," he explained, taking off his hat. "I didn't know I wasn't doing anything wrong."
"You didn't ask," Alice said, tears dripping form her chin. "You never ask. You're just so...stupid," she said, and gave a small laugh as she walked around him and sat back down on the couch. "Maybe we went too fast," she said quietly.
"Don't say that, Alice."
She looked up at him. "I think I'm gonna go spend the night at my mom's." She stood up and walked, numb, back to the bedroom. "I'll see you later."
"Oh, mom, it was horrible," Alice cried as her mother hugged her. "I just...I don't know. He just started again, just talking and I love him for it but I hate him for it and I just snapped."
"Sweetie," Carol comforted, rocking her daughter back and forth. "I'm sorry."
Alice pulled back, wiping her eyes. "It's okay. I'm sorry too. I just needed a little away time from him, I guess."
Carol waited for a second as Alice rubbed her nose. "Can I add my two cents?" she asked.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Can I stop you?"
"I won't say anything if you really don't want me to," Carol said.
Alice sniffed. "I know, I know, he didn't do anything wrong, it's all my fault, why do I always screw up relationships. Whatever. I didn't come here to get lectured," she said, and got up from the couch.
"Alice, come back here. I wasn't going to say that," Carol said, and Alice turned around, folding her arms. "I just want to say that to me, whenever you're around David, you look so happy. And if you feel that you two went too fast, I might not agree with it, but that's okay. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want."
Alice nodded. "I just don't know anymore. I don't know what to do," she said, her voice cracking.
"I'll tell you what. How about I make us some hot chocolate, pull out a movie, and you can stay here for the night, and you can think this over in the morning," Carol offered.
"That actually sounds really good, mom," Alice said. "Thanks."
"Hey, mom, I think I'm gonna go back and see if David's still at the apartment. I think we need to talk," Alice told her mother, who nodded.
"That sounds good, sweetheart." Carol gave her daughter a peck on the cheek. "Be good."
"Yep."
Two buses later, Alice arrived in front of their small, worn apartment complex. She sighed, her breath showing in the cold air. "Here goes nothing," she mumbled, and walked inside. Slightly out of breath after walking up five stories, Alice went to open the door of their apartment. She was surprised to see that it was unlocked. "Hatter?" she called, as she went inside. "I'm back. I think we really need to talk."
Inside was a total mess. Clothes everywhere, the contents of a bag of potato chips all over the room, a spilled bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor.
"Oh my God," Alice whispered. "What happened?" She could feel tears stinging her throat. How could she have known that he would act like this?
On the table was a note. Scrawled on it, in Hatter's hand, was a short you know where I am.
What is that even supposed to mean? Alice thought, as she flipped the piece of paper over, checking over to see if anything was there. Nothing. "Where is he?" she asked herself. Thinking that he was probably at work, she decided that she'd go there next. If he wasn't there, she was out of luck.
The open copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland also on the table made her feel uneasy.
"Hey, is Hatter here?" Alice asked his boss, Steve.
"Nope. He hasn't been here since Friday. Why?" Steve asked, and Alice shook her head.
"No reason. Thanks," she said, and quickly left.
"Dammit," she said under her breath as she finally got out to the sidewalk. "Dammit!" He's gone back there, she thought. To Wonderland.
"Alice!" Hatter called out. His head pounded, and he was a little nauseous, but other than that he felt ready to come back home. "Alice!" he cried again as he entered the apartment. His stomach sank as he realized that she wasn't home.
"Shit," he cursed as he flopped back down on the couch, hearing potato chips crunch under him. "You've really screwed it up this time, Hatter."
Getting plastered, then going out and getting even more drunk, had not been his plan for the previous night. But he really didn't want to stay in that apartment, with reminders of her and everything he screwed up all around. So he crashed at a friend's place, waking up in the morning sad, lonely, and rather smelly.
I gotta talk to her, he thought, and stumbled over to the phone. Awkwardly he dialed the number of her mother's place, and waited for it to ring.
"Hello?" Carol answered.
"Hi! Mrs. Hamilton. It's David. Is Alice there?" Hatter asked.
"No, she's not. She actually went looking for you."
"Where did she go? She's not here," he said.
"She said that the next place she was going to go to was...the place you two first met, I think?"
Hatter's heart sank. "Oh," he said. "Thank you." He hung up.
"Ow," Alice said, her head throbbing painfully. She got up, stumbling a bit, and started to walk. It was pitch black, and she didn't know where she was at first. Her heart sped up, and she remembered that she had gone down the looking glass.
"Hatter!" she called out. "Hatter, where are you!" She felt nervous as she walked forward, still barely able to see anything. She felt stupid for jumping to conclusions, but she could just feel that he was here. And if he were here and never came back again, she'd never forgive herself. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
Alice spun around, seeing two yellow eyes looking at her. "Nothing. Where am I?"
A large, white grin appeared underneath the eyes. "Why, you're in the forest!"
"Great. Which forest? How do I get to the palace?" she asked, rolling her eyes. Just what I need now is the Cheshire Cat, she thought.
"Tsk, tsk. You're a lot sassier than the last pretty little girl to come through here. Why, the palace is simply through the valley, down the stream, across the woods...wait, I think I've lost my place," the cat said, the rest of it becoming eerily visible.
"I'm looking for Hatter," Alice said. "Have you seen him?"
"The Mad Hatter? Hasn't he gone off to celebrate his unbirthday party?"
Alice folded her arms. "I've read the book too, okay? Stop it with the bullshit and tell me if Hatter's gone by."
The grin flattened a bit. "You're the first person I've seen here in quite a while," it answered. "I'm really very lonely."
"That's nice. I'm off," Alice told the cat, and proceeded down the path in front of her.
She walked quite a bit, and was pretty sure she saw a spatula with eyes following her. Soon enough she came to a door. The only problem was that it was about a foot high. Next to it was a small bottle with the label, "Drink Me," on it.
"No way," Alice said quietly to herself. "No."
She looked around. The forest was dead still, not even the trees whistling in the wind. She sighed, walking around.
A loud noise erupted from the forest. Alice's eyes widened. She had heard that noise before, and on instinct began to run. Pounding footsteps followed her, and she tried to run even faster but felt herself running quickly out of breath. The Jabberwock gave another cry, and Alice kept running. "Shouldn't you be asleep or something?" she yelled, stumbling.
She soon tripped over her own feet and kept rolling, unable to stop herself. She groaned as she felt roots under her, and at one point her head hit a hard rock. No longer could she hear the footsteps, but for some reason she couldn't slow down her rolling. Then she felt absolutely nothing under her feet, and her gasp was caught in her throat.
Just in time she managed to grab on to the cliff, but the rest of her was hanging off, dangling in the now strong wind. "Oh my God," she whispered under her breath, feeling tears coming to her eyes. It was just light enough out that she could see that the chasm dipped into nothingness. She was impossibly high up, and it frightened her to death.
She struggled, trying to get her other hand up. The Jabberwock roared again. She scrambled to hold on, but felt herself slipping. This is it, she thought.
A hand grabbed her arm, and helped pull her up. She was breathing heavily, unable to notice who had pulled her up. "Thank you," she said, out of breath.
"You're welcome."
She looked around, surprised by the familiar voice. "Hatter!" she yelled, and threw her arms around his neck.
"I'm so glad I found you," he said, holding on to her tightly.
She kissed him strongly, feeling as if she were about to cry. "I love you. I love you so much that I think sometimes my heart will burst. I'm so sorry," she said, kissing him again. "I'm so sorry."
He smiled. "Me too."
Another kiss. Alice looked up. "I missed you," she said softly.
Hatter nodded. "Me too." With his arm still around her waist, the two stood up. She knotted her fingers through his, holding tightly, smiling at him.
The Jabberwock's roar resounded through the forest. Hatter's jaw dropped. "Well, shit. We better run!"
Running beside him, hands still locked together, Alice began to laugh.