This is How I Spend My Last Friday Night in Hell
I only have a few things to say:
I was inspired by experiencing both the new single from Evanescence’s new album and watching the comic from Marvel Nemesis, inspiration came to me that allowed me to finish the last page of my prologue to MadImageInc! I am so excited. All that is left is going back to revise, then the inking, then the scanning and the editing and then the posting. One step closer to realizing that the dream is not dead! Yeah!
On a sadder note, the new Evanescence CD doesn't even come out until October! WTF! I want it now!
I just thought about my sister and how much she has succeeded. She has always did better in school than me. I say that is because she didn't have parents putting their hands were it didn't belong. Anyways, she seems to be doing very well at her university. Enough finances to live comfortably and she is even able to give the others laptops and such. And I realized tonight, for only a brief moment that I was jealous of my sister's success.
I felt extremely bad about feeling jealous. I know it is normal but then me feeling jealous would mean that once again, I am feeling a sense of failure in my own accomplishments. And as much as that drives me, I can feel myself slipping inward for self protection. I guess I am in for a rude awakening if I truly want to do better than my former selves.
And once again, I find myself asking if I can fill these shoes that are my own vague expectations.
God, I hope so.
Now that I am packing for Clarion, I am finding a lot of little trinkets that I kept. Mostly those that I remind me of the 2 years I spend with Queen. I almost went a seizure like episode - so I found an empty duffle bag and put everything that basically reminded me of her and put it in the duffle bag. I put pages in a box or folder. Gifts and items went with a plastic bag. I think I am just going to stick it someplace so that the chances of me having such a hardcore flashback like today will be reduced tremendously.
Obviously, this means that I miss her. But I came to realize something a few days ago. I might express it some other time. But not right now - so soon after my flashback. It could trigger yet another one.
So I was playing my PS2, probably for the last time in a few months and I realize a few things. I am getting tired. I wasn't sure if it was because it was crawling to 2 in the morning or if it was because I was tired of playing the games I was playing but ... yeah, I was getting bored of them. Then I realized that I wished I hadn't traded in some games in the past few months. For example, I wished I still had Rise to Honor coz I was so in the mood for some Asian Kung Fu! Instead, I ended up watching Replacement Killers - one of my many movies in my collections of movies themed on hit men. >.>
Well, that is it for now. Now off to continue waiting for the day I get to start my life over again. Oh~ I'm so excited!
I was inspired by experiencing both the new single from Evanescence’s new album and watching the comic from Marvel Nemesis, inspiration came to me that allowed me to finish the last page of my prologue to MadImageInc! I am so excited. All that is left is going back to revise, then the inking, then the scanning and the editing and then the posting. One step closer to realizing that the dream is not dead! Yeah!
On a sadder note, the new Evanescence CD doesn't even come out until October! WTF! I want it now!
I just thought about my sister and how much she has succeeded. She has always did better in school than me. I say that is because she didn't have parents putting their hands were it didn't belong. Anyways, she seems to be doing very well at her university. Enough finances to live comfortably and she is even able to give the others laptops and such. And I realized tonight, for only a brief moment that I was jealous of my sister's success.
I felt extremely bad about feeling jealous. I know it is normal but then me feeling jealous would mean that once again, I am feeling a sense of failure in my own accomplishments. And as much as that drives me, I can feel myself slipping inward for self protection. I guess I am in for a rude awakening if I truly want to do better than my former selves.
And once again, I find myself asking if I can fill these shoes that are my own vague expectations.
God, I hope so.
Now that I am packing for Clarion, I am finding a lot of little trinkets that I kept. Mostly those that I remind me of the 2 years I spend with Queen. I almost went a seizure like episode - so I found an empty duffle bag and put everything that basically reminded me of her and put it in the duffle bag. I put pages in a box or folder. Gifts and items went with a plastic bag. I think I am just going to stick it someplace so that the chances of me having such a hardcore flashback like today will be reduced tremendously.
Obviously, this means that I miss her. But I came to realize something a few days ago. I might express it some other time. But not right now - so soon after my flashback. It could trigger yet another one.
So I was playing my PS2, probably for the last time in a few months and I realize a few things. I am getting tired. I wasn't sure if it was because it was crawling to 2 in the morning or if it was because I was tired of playing the games I was playing but ... yeah, I was getting bored of them. Then I realized that I wished I hadn't traded in some games in the past few months. For example, I wished I still had Rise to Honor coz I was so in the mood for some Asian Kung Fu! Instead, I ended up watching Replacement Killers - one of my many movies in my collections of movies themed on hit men. >.>
Well, that is it for now. Now off to continue waiting for the day I get to start my life over again. Oh~ I'm so excited!