(no subject)
My take on '19 ways to keep a girl'
I found this piece of crap on myspace reposted by, of course, Ashley klinkhammer.
So basically its like.. the top is what it said, below it is what I have to say.
Comment if you agree.
1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
-We want a boyfriend, not a convicted rapist, wtf.
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other.
-Oh boy, treat me like your 3 year old son that you dont trust in wal-mart.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
-And look like youre strangling me? Ew. I need air.
4. Cuddle with her.
Okay, I want a man, not 'MrSensitivyIlovetosnugglewuggle'
5. Hug her from behind
-WOAHWOAHWOAH. I dont need a ninja sneak attack from the guy Im supposed to love.
6. Write little notes.
-No. Stop. Right now.
7. Compliment her Honestly.
-How about we just not talk about me? Youll probably end up pissing me off eventually so why bother?
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
More of this whole 'violation of space' I swear, are you trying to love me or kill me?
9. Be super sweet to her.
-I want a man, not a cheerleader. I mean, be nice but dang, calm it down.
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
-Who allowed you to come into my life and interrupt my sleep? You piece of crap, I seriously dont care ''what you did today'' or ''how much you love me'' or you wishing me 'sweet dreams' What if I have a dumb dream? Then what? See, youre a useless tool.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
-From a man, comforting someone is about as useless as wiping before you poop.
12.Wipe away her tears
-EW DONT TOUCH MY FACE
13. Love her with all your heart.
-Given?
14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
-Try it. Prick.
15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her).
-As if any man exists that is a gentleman without any sexual intent.
16. DON'T let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her
-Probably every guys friends are going to talk about his girlfriend, get over it, youre not beyonce and not EVERYONE is going to love you.
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
-Is this a fat joke?
18. When it's cold outside hold her close
-Or you could just get me a heating blanket?
19. Draw on or rub her back as she is tryin to rest or sleep
-EW, AGAIN WITH THE TOUCHING.
I found this piece of crap on myspace reposted by, of course, Ashley klinkhammer.
So basically its like.. the top is what it said, below it is what I have to say.
Comment if you agree.
1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
-We want a boyfriend, not a convicted rapist, wtf.
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other.
-Oh boy, treat me like your 3 year old son that you dont trust in wal-mart.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
-And look like youre strangling me? Ew. I need air.
4. Cuddle with her.
Okay, I want a man, not 'MrSensitivyIlovetosnugglewuggle'
5. Hug her from behind
-WOAHWOAHWOAH. I dont need a ninja sneak attack from the guy Im supposed to love.
6. Write little notes.
-No. Stop. Right now.
7. Compliment her Honestly.
-How about we just not talk about me? Youll probably end up pissing me off eventually so why bother?
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
More of this whole 'violation of space' I swear, are you trying to love me or kill me?
9. Be super sweet to her.
-I want a man, not a cheerleader. I mean, be nice but dang, calm it down.
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
-Who allowed you to come into my life and interrupt my sleep? You piece of crap, I seriously dont care ''what you did today'' or ''how much you love me'' or you wishing me 'sweet dreams' What if I have a dumb dream? Then what? See, youre a useless tool.
11. Comfort her when she cries.
-From a man, comforting someone is about as useless as wiping before you poop.
12.Wipe away her tears
-EW DONT TOUCH MY FACE
13. Love her with all your heart.
-Given?
14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
-Try it. Prick.
15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her).
-As if any man exists that is a gentleman without any sexual intent.
16. DON'T let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her
-Probably every guys friends are going to talk about his girlfriend, get over it, youre not beyonce and not EVERYONE is going to love you.
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
-Is this a fat joke?
18. When it's cold outside hold her close
-Or you could just get me a heating blanket?
19. Draw on or rub her back as she is tryin to rest or sleep
-EW, AGAIN WITH THE TOUCHING.