Being a die-hard F-ZERO fan since 1991, the below video brought me immense joy this morning:

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You give me $250 right now or I'm telling your Mom you hit me.

If god were alive today, I'd like to think he'd be partying in Budapest right now, in the arms of Sully, the leader of the Orphans in The Warriors, both of them overdosing on ecstasy and all the while dancing to Ratatat's song "Falcon Jab," set to repeat for fifteen hours straight.

Behold, the bluetooth handgun handset!

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My new favorite thing: Playing twenty-three different songs all at once through the Stereogum mp3 RSS feed. As if pure sound waves form a cock and rape my brain. And as this atrocity is committed upon my psyche, I stare at the attached image found below. All of this while at work, naturally.


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Now let me tell you about Mr. Bruno. He was the saddest fucking mope you could have ever met. He’d more than likely take a piss on your leg than look you dead straight in the eyes. I loved that son of a bitch, and hated him just as much for it. But he’s dead now; thank the gods for that small miracle.

Death tasted like a grilled cheese sandwich to Harold Benson. Not like a good one, mind you. Not as if he ordered it from greasy spoon dive off of Route Three-Oh-Three ubiquitously named “EAT.” No, this eternity-flavored grilled cheese tasted like it was made by a mentally deficient, socially inept nine-year old boy, who’s mother was in the other ( Read more... )

01) No Country for Old Men - Like a silenced shotgun blast to the face.
02) Michael Clayton - This is how you write the fuck out of a movie. This is how you act the fuck out of a movie.
03) The Lookout - A film that has no right to be this good, but it is. Fuck you, it is.
04) Ratatouille - The only people who are allowed not to like this are kids ( Read more... )

i want to write a novel, using nothing but numbered, pink post-it notes, and scatter them across a cityscape. the novel would concern an elderly school bus driver, his day-to-day life, up until, and possible a little bit of after, his untimely demise, at the hands of an international, eastern-european prostitution ring. the protagonist's name would ( Read more... )

I'm now, or will be, a resident of Royal Oak. Got the apartment, got the keys, got the electricity, got the lady friend and now just have to start sleeping there, which will probably be starting Saturday.

So's you know.

I've felt this for a while now, but would like to make it known publicly:

My favorite band will now be The New Pornographers.

That is all.