(no subject)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse
Grandma and Grandpa were singing a song
While the kid was in bed flogging his dong
With Ma home from the whorehouse and I smoking grass
We'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I jumped off of Ma to see what was the matter
Away to the window I made a mad dash
Threw open the screen and fell out on my ass
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear?
But a rusty old sleigh and a dozen reindeer
I saw the driver holding his prick
And knew in a moment it must be St. Nick
Slower than snails, his chargers they came
And he bitched and he swore as he called them by name
"Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls
Quick now, dammit, or I'll cut off your balls"
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell
He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer
He staggered and stumbled, went for the door
Tripped on his cock and fell to the floor
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart
I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight
"Piss on you all, it's a hell of a night!"