If I were to tell you three things, two of them would most certainly be ridiculous nonsensical and just a little bit useful. But the third thing, ohhh man, the third thing would blow your mind straight out of the floor and into the kitchen sink (yes it's included this time). Just don't betray me, for I am skilled in the ways of the wooden knife ( Read more... )

The Dead Old Lady's Big Night Out and the Banshee's Final Hurrah ( Read more... )

I might start training to be a ninja. It would be so.

El mes pasado, fui a la escuela para aprender en mis clases. Yo dorm

Reporting for duty, Doctor Enfermo ( Read more... )

"Return to the patriot nation, young children, and slay your first dragon in the moonlit night. Fear not my bulbous ass." - Snargle Blartfast, circa 1994 - 2005

Reach for the sky, suckers! In three weeks I will become Ultimate Eric and I will rule the world with a sort of pillowy-textured fist. My first goal will be to stop AIDS and get some aides, and my second goal will be the ability to see through walls and fly without wings. These wings are really annoying, I mean how am I supposed to sit in a chair? ( Read more... )

So today Patrick's f00 ass called me while I was at work. He will pay for such misdeeds. Anyway, enough about my real life, let's talk about Bargle Snagfist's fake life. The story began four years ago at a truck stop in Louisiana, in the southern United States of America in the year 2000 ( Read more... )

Just got back from work...Yeah work is fun. So now I get to starve again! Bah, who needs food anyway? Whoever invented food is fat and stupid ( Read more... )

This is the...first "Live Journal" entry I have ever made. Oh look, a tree. So anyway, there are a few ground rules I wanna lay down. And that's it...I just wanna lay down, that is the ground rule. You hear that ground!? When I need to lay down, it is a rule now! You must let me ( Read more... )