If this were a poem-post...

[maeveenroute]

Ah, but it's not

Comments

[madcaptenor]

The first one means (a) if you currently have a lover. If you don't, I'm not sure what it means. It seems like a strange thing to say if you don't have a lover, because then (a) is impossible, and (b) forces you to make two assumptions;
1) that you could somehow be a three-eyed pirate queen, and
2) that if that happened, then you'd get a lover
while (a) only forces one assumption. The two assumptions together stretch the limits of plausibility.

In the second case, I definitely prefer (a). And since all people have mothers, (b) seems even worse in the second case. (Incidentally, if "doctor" includes "person with PhD" then I might say this about myself.)

[fnordian]

I definitely get the (a) reading for both, since there's nothing to suggest an irrealis status of the NPs "my N". For me, somewhat like madcaptenor said, that NP would either have to be something irrealis (e.g. "If I were a three-eyed pirate queen, my pet alien would follow me everywhere"; "If I were a doctor my chief of surgery [or whatever a doctor might call their boss] would be proud of me") or I would have to be some background knowledge (e.g. that the speaker doesn't have a lover) to get a (b) reading. However, even if the speaker didn't have a (living) mother, I wouldn't get a (b) reading. But this this is probably because mothers are far more inaliable than lovers.

I think reading (c) is also a possible (secondary?) meaning for the second sentence, since you could be claiming (a) either on the basis of knowing your mother in particular wants her children to be doctors, or the general feeling that all mothers would be proud to have doctors for children. This would be entirely ambiguous without contextual info.

[dr_whom]

I get (a) as my default reading for both.

[beetiger]

To me, those statements read naturally as (a), and furthermore seem to have another unspoken default assumption to me -- that the second half of the statement isn't true from the speaker's current reality. That is to say, something like

"The person who is currently my lover would find me sexy if I were a three-eyed pirate queen,(but seeing as I'm just a sort of vaguely unattractive tech monkey, she really isn't impressed.)"

or

"If I were a doctor, my mother would be proud of me, (but she doesn't respect artists)."

But perhaps I'm just in a really mopey place right now. I'd probably do better as a three-eyed pirate queen doctor.

[joaniechachi]

Oddly, I read the doctor statement as saying "My mother isn't proud of me because I am not a doctor as she had hoped," while I read the pirate statement as saying "My lover would love me even if I were a three-eyed pirate queen." I attribute this to the doctor being a generally praised occupation, while lawless mutants are generally not. Also, perhaps, to my bias that lovers love you no matter what and that mothers will love you but may or may not be proud of you.

[ataralas]

I prefer a reading of (a) on both. In fact, I don't read (b) at all in the doctor scenario and very weakly in the pirate queen one.

Though I initially read the first part of the question as you waking up in a cold sweat worrying about whether if you were a three-eyed pirate queen, the SJ would find you sexy. And I was a little worried about your dreams.

Also, I want to be part of the reality in which you are a three-eyed pirate queen. But not the one where you're a doctor.

[ceaselesslymuse]

The answer, my friend, is yes- after all, what's a third eye between sweethearts? :)