(Untitled)

[maffyew]

I really should post more, but in this modern age where people get fired over blog posts and internet detectives are far too skilled at their 'craft' I engage in far too much self-censorship.

A lot of you are far more courageous than I'll ever be.

There's a lot of stuff I'd like to say - I just feel this isn't the best place to say it.

Comments

[alex_adventures]

This is especially sucky for those of us who really only communicate with you through the blogospehere.

[maffyew]

It's frustrating. Deanna cops the majority of my frustrated rants these days which isn't exactly fair on her either.

Not that this was just a place for ranting and agitation, but.. yeah.

Today marks the one year anniversary of z2kdev. When I look back on what I've actually achieved in regards to the project over the past twelve months, it's a little depressing. It's not quite as bleak as the journal suggests - I had a period a couple of months ago where I made some real progress, but I'm having some discouraging troubles working my head around the engines I have to work with.

Still, trying new things outside of my immediate comfort zone - I've decided to accept an invitation to talk on a video gaming panel at John Parker's cyberpunk con Night's Edge next month. I've never even attended a con before, but I feel I know enough about the topic to contribute confidently, even if my "official" credentials won't come anywhere near matching my co-panelists. :P

[alex_adventures]

Awesome! That's really great. Even if you haven't made your own game yet, your opinions on the topic are informed and deep. Having been to San Diego, I can say that the people that have done great thigns don't necessarily make good panelists, and the reverse is also true.

[madolan]

I second Alex's point, but at the same time I concur. I'm increasingly uncomfortable with my blogging habits and my open identity online. I posted publicly during work hours today and feel a little worried about that.

[maffyew]

You would be one of two or three people I know who the "courageous" line in the original post is particuarly suited to.

It's 1:20am and I can't sleep due to certain frustrations I can't elaborate on here, which I think I'd like to do, but at the same time I know I don't need to - I know the answer to these frustrations, I just need to find the balls to follow through on it.

It did give me a chance to finally finish watching the last few episodes of Oz though. Apart from the constant flashbacks for those who haven't been keeping up (the lack of these in Deadwood has spoiled me forever, I fear), I thought the series was fricking brilliant.

[madolan]

A year ago that would have delighted me; today it worries me. If this is maturity and professionalism, I want to go back to being happily devil-may-care.

I went through my entire journal a few months ago and friends locked the majority of it. I do try to be deliberate these days, and I assume my co-workers are reading everything I put out there.

I like the idea of being somewhat Googleable. It lets a prospective employer learn things about my personality, spirit, and personal accomplishments that I can't get across in a CV.

I'm sorry you're going through a frustrated period right now.

[maffyew]

I've noticed the restraint over the past few months - I've thought it was very sensible, if not quite what I associate with 'you'. Even with a little restraint, this still places you at a level of completely open honesty far above what I think I'll ever be able to achieve.

I suppose one of the best things about being Googleable or as publicly open as you have been is that anyone employing you knows exactly what they're getting - and you can be comfortable in knowing that you're welcome with that knowledge in hand.

Facebook's doing the rounds at work at the moment. Fortunately the worst that can come of that is a bunch of embarassing photos that I honestly have no problem with people seeing to start with.

[sithmagician]

I have often thought that what I post about work may one day lead to some issues.

[maffyew]

You never mention names - you'll be fine, I think. You're also in a position of relative authority and your employer obviously appreciates the work you do, which at times feels like a far fuckin' cry from what I'm doing at the moment.

[nutzboy]

I know the feeling all too well. I don't like information about me being out there on the 'net, as my opinions change so much over time that they're rarely relevant even days later.

I used to use my LJ as, well, a journal, but these days it's nothing more than a tool to communicate with friends, like a personalized bulletin board. Sad thing is that I don't really post anywhere online, SA gets barely a whisper from me, even though I'm on it basically every day.

Guess I just figure people aren't that interested in what I have to say, really. :\

[maffyew]

I rarely post at most places I read, I'm usually content to lurk and think. I think I've only posted (well.. replied) five or six times on SA, and always in the Games forum.

[vetch]

I've had some fears in the past, but at the end of the day, I figure I'm not interesting or subversive enough for the powers that be to want to check up on me. It helps that my posts tend to consist largely of drivel.

In other news, I was explaining to someone how *you know who* got angry with me on account of my reluctance to renounce you as gay only yesterday... so when you're all "this isn't the place to say it", I'm thinking 'teehee! coming out jokes ahoy!' only I couldnt think of any, so there.

You big fruit.

[maffyew]

If that were the case, I'd declare it via image macro pulling an incredibly camp pose with "Is it can be buttsecks time now plees?" splayed across it.

Classy.

(also, yay puppy!)