Speaking the fuck up

[maga_dogg]

I do not directly talk about feminism and gender issues all that much, mostly because most of the things I could say fall into one of the following categories:

• stuff that seems utterly fucking obvious to me, has done since way before adulthood, to the extent where a) I can't overcome a sense of massive redundancy when talking about it and b) it

Comments

[proximoception]

All true, but I think most people will see the main point against the guy's position as its being touted by someone homicidally insane. And Jesus McFuck but the gun thing has me halfway there myself.

[maga_dogg]

I dunno. I've been rage-drunk before. (Not about this, but about similarly dumb bullshit.) I can see myself, without the benefit of a lifetime of level-headed support networks, being a whole lot rage-drunker in a much more sustained manner. I am really reluctant to go with 'because crazy motherfucker' as an argument-ender, in any context. Crazy motherfucker is rarely arbitrary.

[ext_2119769]

"Crazy motherfucker" also means that this person is the debris of our society. That is: if someone is crazy then we say, maybe our society needs to lock him away or give him "support" but there's no way he might not have done this horrible stuff / might not be so crazy if society changed; he's just crazy; you can't change crazy.

This guy may be mentally unbalanced, sure, fine, but other stuff about our society is what caused that unbalancedness to come out in such a deadly form. If that weren't the case, then you'd see women going on killing sprees, and you don't.

[proximoception]

I didn't mean "most people" as "the normative person who you and I should be more like," but as the actual majority - presumably this line of thinking is going to take the same popularity hit as anti-immigrant sentiment in Norway a few years back. But then I think the same thing about guns every time.

[anonymous]

I think "The Universe doesn't owe you a snuggle and a blowjob" is my new go to sentence for a certain kind of men.

[plasticsturgeon]

The MRA model that I would think was the funniest if it didn't lead to things like murder is the idea of women as sadistic/uncaring government bureaucrats who refuse to dispense to the downtrodden yet well-behaved (male) citizen his rightful dose of emotional caretaking and sexual services. It's even funnier when the guy is a libertarian.

Are there men on your friends list who think the universe owes them a snuggle and a blowjob? If so, why are they still on your friends list?

[maga_dogg]

I doubt it.

But that's another reason why I don't talk about this much - the intuitive assumption that every man I know beyond vague-acquaintance status is a card-carrying feminist and not a rapist, abuser, harasser, victim-blamer, etc. Would that my selection mechanisms were so knowing and so powerful.

[plasticsturgeon]

I guess this is a good way to get them to show themselves if there are any.

I think you should tell this stuff to groups of young nerdy boys and men who are at risk for MRAism. Actual MRAs probably wouldn't listen.

[ziz]

>PUT MINIMALLY POLITE BEHAVIOR IN SLOT

The universe whirrs.

>PUT FALSE RESPECT IN SLOT

The universe whirrs.

>PUT MONETARY EXPENDITURE IN SLOT

The universe whirrs.

>PUT AXE BODY SPRAY IN SLOT

The universe whirrs. If it had a nose it would be wrinkling in disgust.

>EXAMINE BALANCE READOUT

The universe appears to owe you nothing.

[ziz]

To be fair:

>PUT UNIVERSALLY POLITE BEHAVIOR IN SLOT

The universe whirrs.

>PUT TRUE RESPECT IN SLOT

The universe whirrs.

>PUT COMPASSIONATE GENEROSITY IN SLOT

The universe whirrs.

>PUT MUTUALLY ACCEPTABLE STANDARDS OF HYGIENE IN SLOT

The universe whirrs. If it had a nose it would be wrinkling in disgust. But frankly, some noses would wrinkle in disgust no matter what chose here; as long as you're happy and the people you care about are happy, don't even worry about it.

>EXAMINE BALANCE READOUT

The universe appears to owe you nothing.

[ziz]

>TAKE THE TEA AND THE NO TEA

Taken.

>PUT THE TEA AND THE NO TEA IN SLOT

The universe whirrs confusedly.

>EXAMINE BALANCE READOUT

You owe the universe a more internally consistent worldview.

[dfan]

I think that one useful thing is to get away from the phrasing "getting laid" and "reasons you are not getting laid". It seems to me that part of the problem is 1) treating sex as some sort of score (literally) rather than a mutual activity between two people who are both excited to engage in it and 2) the perception that by default you should be increasing this score and if you're not it's because of REASONS.