Fic: Grumpy Old Men
Fandom: Star Trek: Reboot
Rating: G
Pairings: Spock/McCoy
Summary: While on the Enterprise for a diplomatic meeting Spock Prime receives an unexpected, and grouchy, visitor.
Note: Yes the title was taken from the movie of the same name and this was written as a kink meme fill.
Grumpy Old Men
Being an elder even by Vulcan standards Spock knew that there were times in life that one had to do things they did not want to do. Having unending talks with Starfleet over New Vulcan was quickly becoming one of those things. It wasn’t all bad certainly. It was always nice to be on the Enterprise of course and these talks were important to the Vulcan race’s recovery.
But with Sarek and T’Maaya insisting on hammering out every single detail of the negotiations with Captain Kirk and his young counterpart Spock couldn’t help but think that the talks were also becoming awfully boring and wished for some kind of distraction.
Being on the Enterprise he should he known better than to desire such things, for the thought had barely finished crossing his mind when there was a loud bang and then swearing coming from the room across the hall, the transporter room.
The group rushed in to find Scotty and transporter Chief Kyle coughing over the smoking transport controls.
“Scotty, what the hell happened?”
“I don’t know, Captain! We were running a simple diagnostic cycle and it just went crazy! Starting up and overheating all on its own.”
Kirk tried to approach the transporter, but the lights glowed and sparked and he stepped back quickly.
Scotty called in a back-up maintenance team, and by the time came, with Bones in tow in case anyone was injured, something was forming on the pad.
When the smoke cleared and the whirl of white particles faded an old human male stood on the pad. He glanced around then stepped down from the transporter, side stepped Kirk, and stopped in front the elder Spock.
Then he started yelling.
“You’re lucky I’m too old to punch you! What the hell were you thinking?! Going off in that ship like we’re still a bunch of young whippersnappers!”
“May I remind you that neither one of us is fully retired and-”
“Not the point! The point is I can’t leave you alone for two seconds or you run off and do something stupid in the name logic! I mean look this at this ship it looks like everything is made out of plastic! And these kids look like they’re dressed up like us for Halloween! Vulcans excepted of course,” he said, giving a polite nod to Sarek and T’Maaya.
“Are you finished? “ Spock asked.
“No there’s one more thing.”
McCoy grabbed Spock then and hugged him, his arms squeezing the old Vulcan tightly.
“I’ve missed you, Spock.”
Spock was silent, but eagerly returned the embrace.
“I know it’s a pie crust promise you thick-headed hobgoblin, but don’t you ever leave me again. Don’t make me be the last one of us,” he whispered.
“That was never my intention and I am sorry, Leonard.”
McCoy nodded, loosening his embrace, and he smiled at Spock.
“Well are you going to make like a good diplomat and show me around?”
Spock nodded and beckoned McCoy to the door.
“W-wait you can’t just stay here,” Kirk finally managed to stutter as went up to them, ignoring Bones who was staring slack jawed at the results of his DNA scan. “You just appeared on my ship with no identification, no explanation, and we have regulations about this.”
“I will take full responsibility for him, Jim, you may list him in your records as my guest. And as a member of a diplomatic party he has complete access to the ship.”
“Besides, Kid, I outrank you.”
With that they left the room, the others just gaping at them.
***
By the time Spock had finished his tour of the ship and Scotty had sworn long and hard at the transporter the rumors were flying. Crewmembers were trading all kinds of stories about the ship’s new arrival, and even Jim and Bones couldn’t help but be curious about Bones’ counterpart; and his weird relationship with Spock.
When the meetings with Sarek and T’Maaya were finished Jim and Bones found the two older men in the mess hall, with some kind of card game spread out on the table between them.
“What are you playing?” Jim asked.
“Fizzbin,” McCoy answered, as Bones sat down next to him and pulled out his medical scanner.
“Okay…umm how do you play?”
Both men just give him a strange look and then started to lay out the rules of the game.
After a long explanation about the different rules because it’s Tuesday Jim gave up and simply asked them if they were betting anything.
“Food replicator cards,” Spock answered. “You need to eat better, Leonard.”
McCoy snorted. “I’m average from my age group.”
“You are 140 years old, Leonard, no one else is in your age group.”
“I know, so I get to say what’s best for me. Who’s the doctor here, Spock, me or you?”
“I am, sir, and I agree with him, you could stand to put on weight.”
McCoy just rolled his eyes and declared a royal Fizzbin. Spock collected the cards and shuffled them.
“You want to see new pictures of the great-grand kids?” McCoy asked.
“Of course.”
McCoy pulled out a thick wallet that unfolded into a section filled entirely with pictures. Bones managed to get a short glimpse of what looked like his four year old little girl all grown up and pregnant and then dashed out of the mess hall.
***
Bones escaped to the observation deck and was found there an hour later by the younger Spock as he joined him on a bench by the window.
“Getting to you too are they?”
Normally Spock would needle the doctor over such a phrase, but at the moment he found the phrase an apt one.
“I am forced to admit that seeing them together is…unsettling.”
“I know. Where are they now?”
“They are currently in the galley attempt to cook ‘chicken fried steak’.”
Bones swore. “Damn, if he perfected my grandma’s recipe I just might have to try it.”
“I must admit I am curious as to how such a meal is made as chicken is not a form of red meat, and as such a steak cannot be made from it.”
“It’s not made with chicken, Spock.”
“It isn’t?”
“No it’s just breaded like deep fried chicken is.”
“Then why is it not simply called deep fried steak?”
“Because you don’t deep fry it! Why do you always takes things so literally?”
Spock ignored the question. “Then how do you fry it?”
“In a pan.”
“Does it require a pan shaped like a chicken?”
“Oh, for the love of-come with me.”
Bones dragged Spock down to the galley and loudly explained to him how the whole thing worked. As it dissolved into yet another argument the older Spock and McCoy just looked at them knowingly and went back to their cooking.
The End
Rating: G
Pairings: Spock/McCoy
Summary: While on the Enterprise for a diplomatic meeting Spock Prime receives an unexpected, and grouchy, visitor.
Note: Yes the title was taken from the movie of the same name and this was written as a kink meme fill.
Grumpy Old Men
Being an elder even by Vulcan standards Spock knew that there were times in life that one had to do things they did not want to do. Having unending talks with Starfleet over New Vulcan was quickly becoming one of those things. It wasn’t all bad certainly. It was always nice to be on the Enterprise of course and these talks were important to the Vulcan race’s recovery.
But with Sarek and T’Maaya insisting on hammering out every single detail of the negotiations with Captain Kirk and his young counterpart Spock couldn’t help but think that the talks were also becoming awfully boring and wished for some kind of distraction.
Being on the Enterprise he should he known better than to desire such things, for the thought had barely finished crossing his mind when there was a loud bang and then swearing coming from the room across the hall, the transporter room.
The group rushed in to find Scotty and transporter Chief Kyle coughing over the smoking transport controls.
“Scotty, what the hell happened?”
“I don’t know, Captain! We were running a simple diagnostic cycle and it just went crazy! Starting up and overheating all on its own.”
Kirk tried to approach the transporter, but the lights glowed and sparked and he stepped back quickly.
Scotty called in a back-up maintenance team, and by the time came, with Bones in tow in case anyone was injured, something was forming on the pad.
When the smoke cleared and the whirl of white particles faded an old human male stood on the pad. He glanced around then stepped down from the transporter, side stepped Kirk, and stopped in front the elder Spock.
Then he started yelling.
“You’re lucky I’m too old to punch you! What the hell were you thinking?! Going off in that ship like we’re still a bunch of young whippersnappers!”
“May I remind you that neither one of us is fully retired and-”
“Not the point! The point is I can’t leave you alone for two seconds or you run off and do something stupid in the name logic! I mean look this at this ship it looks like everything is made out of plastic! And these kids look like they’re dressed up like us for Halloween! Vulcans excepted of course,” he said, giving a polite nod to Sarek and T’Maaya.
“Are you finished? “ Spock asked.
“No there’s one more thing.”
McCoy grabbed Spock then and hugged him, his arms squeezing the old Vulcan tightly.
“I’ve missed you, Spock.”
Spock was silent, but eagerly returned the embrace.
“I know it’s a pie crust promise you thick-headed hobgoblin, but don’t you ever leave me again. Don’t make me be the last one of us,” he whispered.
“That was never my intention and I am sorry, Leonard.”
McCoy nodded, loosening his embrace, and he smiled at Spock.
“Well are you going to make like a good diplomat and show me around?”
Spock nodded and beckoned McCoy to the door.
“W-wait you can’t just stay here,” Kirk finally managed to stutter as went up to them, ignoring Bones who was staring slack jawed at the results of his DNA scan. “You just appeared on my ship with no identification, no explanation, and we have regulations about this.”
“I will take full responsibility for him, Jim, you may list him in your records as my guest. And as a member of a diplomatic party he has complete access to the ship.”
“Besides, Kid, I outrank you.”
With that they left the room, the others just gaping at them.
***
By the time Spock had finished his tour of the ship and Scotty had sworn long and hard at the transporter the rumors were flying. Crewmembers were trading all kinds of stories about the ship’s new arrival, and even Jim and Bones couldn’t help but be curious about Bones’ counterpart; and his weird relationship with Spock.
When the meetings with Sarek and T’Maaya were finished Jim and Bones found the two older men in the mess hall, with some kind of card game spread out on the table between them.
“What are you playing?” Jim asked.
“Fizzbin,” McCoy answered, as Bones sat down next to him and pulled out his medical scanner.
“Okay…umm how do you play?”
Both men just give him a strange look and then started to lay out the rules of the game.
After a long explanation about the different rules because it’s Tuesday Jim gave up and simply asked them if they were betting anything.
“Food replicator cards,” Spock answered. “You need to eat better, Leonard.”
McCoy snorted. “I’m average from my age group.”
“You are 140 years old, Leonard, no one else is in your age group.”
“I know, so I get to say what’s best for me. Who’s the doctor here, Spock, me or you?”
“I am, sir, and I agree with him, you could stand to put on weight.”
McCoy just rolled his eyes and declared a royal Fizzbin. Spock collected the cards and shuffled them.
“You want to see new pictures of the great-grand kids?” McCoy asked.
“Of course.”
McCoy pulled out a thick wallet that unfolded into a section filled entirely with pictures. Bones managed to get a short glimpse of what looked like his four year old little girl all grown up and pregnant and then dashed out of the mess hall.
***
Bones escaped to the observation deck and was found there an hour later by the younger Spock as he joined him on a bench by the window.
“Getting to you too are they?”
Normally Spock would needle the doctor over such a phrase, but at the moment he found the phrase an apt one.
“I am forced to admit that seeing them together is…unsettling.”
“I know. Where are they now?”
“They are currently in the galley attempt to cook ‘chicken fried steak’.”
Bones swore. “Damn, if he perfected my grandma’s recipe I just might have to try it.”
“I must admit I am curious as to how such a meal is made as chicken is not a form of red meat, and as such a steak cannot be made from it.”
“It’s not made with chicken, Spock.”
“It isn’t?”
“No it’s just breaded like deep fried chicken is.”
“Then why is it not simply called deep fried steak?”
“Because you don’t deep fry it! Why do you always takes things so literally?”
Spock ignored the question. “Then how do you fry it?”
“In a pan.”
“Does it require a pan shaped like a chicken?”
“Oh, for the love of-come with me.”
Bones dragged Spock down to the galley and loudly explained to him how the whole thing worked. As it dissolved into yet another argument the older Spock and McCoy just looked at them knowingly and went back to their cooking.
The End