Fic: Vows
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series/Star Trek: The Next Generation
Rating: PG
Pairings: Kirk/Spock
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek related except merchandise and Vegas tickets.
Summary: Before he left on the Enterprise B Jim promised Spock they would get married when he returned to Earth. 78 years later Jim leaves the Nexus to find that Spock has taken those vows with someone else.
Vows
No one really knew what to do with themselves as the Enterprise left Veridian III. It wasn’t everyday the captain beamed up with a living legend, who had been declared dead seventy-eight years before, and was now there as their guest, un-aged and uninjured.
At the moment most of them had taken to poking their heads around corners and standing in awe in the hallways as Captain Picard led Captain Kirk to his temporary quarters.
Jim had gotten use to people staring at him and was content to ask Picard about his old crew.
“McCoy is really an admiral?”
“Oh, yes he actually oversaw the medical facilities of the Enterprise D on its first mission.”
They entered the cabin and Picard just stared at him.
“Do I have something on my shirt?” Jim asked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“I’m sorry, captain-Jim. I just, well you’re you! And I must say I haven’t been this tongue-tied since I met Ambassador Sarek at his son’s wedding.”
Jim felt his heart stop. “Wedding? What wedding?”
“Oh, it was quite a large affair. The bride looked ravishing as I recall. I was only a young lieutenant at the time and…
Captain Picard went on talking, but Jim wasn’t listening anymore. He couldn’t believe what he had just been told. It was something they had promised only to each other and now…Spock was married. Spock was married!
“Where is Spock now?”
“Hmm…oh the ambassador is on Romulus-”
“Romulus! What in the name of heaven is he doing there?”
“He is, and I quote, on a personal mission of peace, attempting reunification.”
Romulus. Saavik it had to be. He was onto another project with someone else. Jim suddenly wished he had fallen off that bridge. He sunk into a chair and realized Captain Picard was waiting for him to respond.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was saying that I have connections on Romulus. I could contact him and the other members of your former crew if you wish.”
“No, no yet it’s too soon. As a matter of fact, would you excuse me, Jean-Luc? It has been a rather long day.”
“Of course, if you need anything the intercom is on that far wall.”
“Thank you.”
Picard left and Jim stood up and paced around the room in agitation. Spock had left him. Well in a technical sense Spock had every right to as their relationship had never been official. They had promised to do that when they both returned to Earth, and Jim never had. Even if they had made those vows though it was only until death do you part. He had been presumed dead. For all intents and purposes he had been dead. A festering ball of hurt and betrayal started to build up anyway.
How dare he! How could Spock have possibly found someone else to promise himself to!? And a woman too! After it had taken them so many years to reach that point it should have been impossible. They were t’hy’la! It should have taken a lifetime-
Then reality slammed into Jim’s mind and he sunk down into the chair again. It had been seventy-eight years since he had disappeared. Seventy-eight years. That was longer than Spock had even been alive back then. For him it had been a lifetime. A lifetime of changes, new people, new experiences, and their time together no doubt nothing more than a distant memory by now.
It hurt, he couldn’t even begin to describe how much it hurt. Spock was lost to him again as surly as when he had breathed in that one final time and slumped against the glass in the engine room.
Jim got up and looked out the window. Watching pinpricks of light fly by; just as time had no doubt flown by for Spock. Jim still loved him and he knew he was always going to love him, but it wasn’t going to be enough this time. He had a right to be hurt and angry at what he had lost, but he also knew that he had no right to interfere. Spock had gone on with his life so Jim would too; somehow.
***
“Captain Kirk please report to the transporter room.”
After twenty minutes of being thoroughly lost Jim made it to the proper room and found the Chief Engineer waiting for him.
“Lieutenant Laforge, is it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What’s all this?”
“I took the liberty of contacting a ship I think might be able to help you adjust to our century. The man in charge is coming over now.”
Jim watched intently as a man materialized before him on the pad.
“Scotty!”
“Captain!”
The two men ran up and hugged each other.
“What rabbit hole did they pull you out of?”
“That temporal Nexus we ran into on the Enterprise-B.”
Scotty smiled. “Should have known that not even getting thrown into space would stop you, Jim; Geordie was right when he said he had the perfect new man for my ship.”
“Oh, please, Scotty, in this age I’m not fit to command a garbage scow let alone a starship!”
“Nonsense, sir! It’s a constitution class, and the lads and I have been re-fitting it for months to get it up to code; and strictly off the record, sir, Johnson can’t captain his way out of a paper-bag.”
“Well if, if it means that much to you.”
“Leaving us already?”
Jim turned as Captain Picard entered the room.
“She’s a wonderful ship, Captain, but she’s your Enterprise not mine. I’ll make do with what I can.”
“You haven’t given me an answer about the ambassador and the others should I contact them?”
“No, no such wonderful news. He-they, should hear it from me directly.” A lie of course, but Picard merely nodded.
Well not a complete lie Jim told himself. Scotty was so pleased to see him so he would contact Bones, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov in time; but Spock was out of reach and he knew it. To see him again, to talk to him, it would be too tempting and he would not destroy a marriage for his own selfish desires.
In the end Picard agree to keep his return a secret, wished them well, and Jim promised to keep in touch.
***
The 24th century really wasn’t all that tough. A few modifications as they read up on all the new techniques and the ship ran smooth as glass. He was incredibly lucky and he knew it so Jim did his best to be happy.
It was on a supply eight months in that it happened. Jim had been taking in a late lunch, after dropping off the supplies he’d picked up when the half-Vulcan came into the small café. Jim’s jaw dropped opened in shock and he stared hungrily at the man that had once been his. Time seemed to have barely touched him. His hair wasn’t as black as it had been, and the face was lined deeper than he remembered, but it looked like two decades of aging and not the well over seven it had really been.
He locked eyes with him on accident. Looking into those soft brown eyes, that were widening in shock already, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Even knowing that so much would have to be explained and talked about, and Jim was not sure how to even to start such a discussion. It turned out not to matter though, because a moment later Jim found himself staring at a wall because Spock was passed out on the floor.
***
He had contacted Scotty and they had managed to get him to a small out of the way room. As Spock lay still on the bed Jim sat close to him in a nearby chair. He wanted to watch over Spock until he woke up. Despite feeling angry Jim had never meant to hurt him. He just wanted to get on with his life as Spock already had. Now it seemed that moving on was going to be a bit messier than he had planned.
“Any change?” Scotty asked, as he came in and handed Jim a cup of old coffee.
Jim opened his mouth to answer no when Spock started moving. As Spock came back to consciousness Jim let go of his hand. They were not like that anymore, it was not appropriate.
“Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Spock.”
Spock blinked and slowly pushed himself up to sit against the pillows
“Fascinating. It did not occur to me that Bendii Syndrome might have a genetic component. Nor that the hallucinogenic effects would set in so early.”
Scotty turned to Jim.
“What’s he on about?”
“We’ve been gone for over seventy years and look exactly the same as the day we left. He thinks we aren’t real.”
Scotty smiled. “Well I can assure you we are very real, Mr. Spock. It’s a rather long and complicated story. If you’d like to hear it I-”
“Scotty, don’t you have some work to do on the ship?”
“No I…oh, aye, sir.”
Scotty stood up and quickly left the room.
Spock turned his head to the man who looked like Jim, not entirely ready to believe the impossible one more time.
“Explain.”
Jim slowly recalled the events that had led to his and Scotty’s reappearance on an out of the way space station in a time period that wasn’t theirs.
Spock frowned. It made so much sense in context and yet… “You did not seek me out immediately and from all appearances it seems you did not ever wish to do so, why?”
Spock reached for his hand, only to have Jim pull back
“Jim, have I offended you in some manner?”
Jim bowed his head, feelings of betrayal and loss threatening to surface again.
“No, no it’s just that, well after nearly 80 years how could I have expected otherwise, you’ve moved on, Spock. Going back to what we were, even for a moment, wouldn’t be fair to your wife.”
“My wife?”
“You don’t have to hide it from me I know.”
“Then you have been given false information, Jim, I am not married, nor have I ever been. I made that promise to you and no one else.”
“But, but Picard said he was at your wedding!”
“Captain Picard was at the wedding of a son of Sarek, in this case, Saluk.”
“Saluk?”
“As you yourself said, Jim, it has been almost 80 years. In that time my mother has died. My father remarried, and he and Perrin desired a child together. Saluk is their son. Everything my father could ever wish for in one.” Spock sighed. “My apologies, Jim, I should not be bringing such matters into this discussion.”
Jim waved off whatever new feelings of inadequacy Sarek had managed to put in his son. He simply let the other new information swirl in his head, and make him feel horrible. Spock had been faithful and this was how he repaid him. He had waited for so long and Jim hadn’t even tried to speak to him. Guilt began to eat away at him as he realized that yet more time, the precious little left to them now, had been wasted.
Spock moved towards Jim again, his hand reaching for Jim’s face in a familiar pattern.
“May I?”
Jim nodded and Spock pressed his hand to his face. Letting Jim see how much he had been missed. How many thoughts he had occupied for so many years; it was unbelievable. Of just how many late nights Spock had stayed awake and thought of the promise they had made…of a dream that had gone unfulfilled.
Eventually Jim pulled out of the meld and looked at Spock with tears in his eyes.
“Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld, Jim, you know that.”
Jim just nodded and hugged Spock hard.
“I’m so sorry I ever doubted you. Can you ever forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, my t’hy’la. You did what you believed was right to see me happy. I find no fault in that.”
Jim smiled. “You show emotion, Spock.”
“It has been a long time. I have grown.”
Jim kissed Spock’s neck and let a hand move through the Vulcan’s greying hair.
“I love you.”
“And you have been and always shall be my only love.”
Spock tightened his grip around Jim and he pulled him into the bed.
“I know we aren’t on Earth and we can’t ever be on that bridge again, with them, but I am a captain of a ship again. I could…if you still wish to?”
“I do.”
The End
Rating: PG
Pairings: Kirk/Spock
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek related except merchandise and Vegas tickets.
Summary: Before he left on the Enterprise B Jim promised Spock they would get married when he returned to Earth. 78 years later Jim leaves the Nexus to find that Spock has taken those vows with someone else.
Vows
No one really knew what to do with themselves as the Enterprise left Veridian III. It wasn’t everyday the captain beamed up with a living legend, who had been declared dead seventy-eight years before, and was now there as their guest, un-aged and uninjured.
At the moment most of them had taken to poking their heads around corners and standing in awe in the hallways as Captain Picard led Captain Kirk to his temporary quarters.
Jim had gotten use to people staring at him and was content to ask Picard about his old crew.
“McCoy is really an admiral?”
“Oh, yes he actually oversaw the medical facilities of the Enterprise D on its first mission.”
They entered the cabin and Picard just stared at him.
“Do I have something on my shirt?” Jim asked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“I’m sorry, captain-Jim. I just, well you’re you! And I must say I haven’t been this tongue-tied since I met Ambassador Sarek at his son’s wedding.”
Jim felt his heart stop. “Wedding? What wedding?”
“Oh, it was quite a large affair. The bride looked ravishing as I recall. I was only a young lieutenant at the time and…
Captain Picard went on talking, but Jim wasn’t listening anymore. He couldn’t believe what he had just been told. It was something they had promised only to each other and now…Spock was married. Spock was married!
“Where is Spock now?”
“Hmm…oh the ambassador is on Romulus-”
“Romulus! What in the name of heaven is he doing there?”
“He is, and I quote, on a personal mission of peace, attempting reunification.”
Romulus. Saavik it had to be. He was onto another project with someone else. Jim suddenly wished he had fallen off that bridge. He sunk into a chair and realized Captain Picard was waiting for him to respond.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was saying that I have connections on Romulus. I could contact him and the other members of your former crew if you wish.”
“No, no yet it’s too soon. As a matter of fact, would you excuse me, Jean-Luc? It has been a rather long day.”
“Of course, if you need anything the intercom is on that far wall.”
“Thank you.”
Picard left and Jim stood up and paced around the room in agitation. Spock had left him. Well in a technical sense Spock had every right to as their relationship had never been official. They had promised to do that when they both returned to Earth, and Jim never had. Even if they had made those vows though it was only until death do you part. He had been presumed dead. For all intents and purposes he had been dead. A festering ball of hurt and betrayal started to build up anyway.
How dare he! How could Spock have possibly found someone else to promise himself to!? And a woman too! After it had taken them so many years to reach that point it should have been impossible. They were t’hy’la! It should have taken a lifetime-
Then reality slammed into Jim’s mind and he sunk down into the chair again. It had been seventy-eight years since he had disappeared. Seventy-eight years. That was longer than Spock had even been alive back then. For him it had been a lifetime. A lifetime of changes, new people, new experiences, and their time together no doubt nothing more than a distant memory by now.
It hurt, he couldn’t even begin to describe how much it hurt. Spock was lost to him again as surly as when he had breathed in that one final time and slumped against the glass in the engine room.
Jim got up and looked out the window. Watching pinpricks of light fly by; just as time had no doubt flown by for Spock. Jim still loved him and he knew he was always going to love him, but it wasn’t going to be enough this time. He had a right to be hurt and angry at what he had lost, but he also knew that he had no right to interfere. Spock had gone on with his life so Jim would too; somehow.
***
“Captain Kirk please report to the transporter room.”
After twenty minutes of being thoroughly lost Jim made it to the proper room and found the Chief Engineer waiting for him.
“Lieutenant Laforge, is it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What’s all this?”
“I took the liberty of contacting a ship I think might be able to help you adjust to our century. The man in charge is coming over now.”
Jim watched intently as a man materialized before him on the pad.
“Scotty!”
“Captain!”
The two men ran up and hugged each other.
“What rabbit hole did they pull you out of?”
“That temporal Nexus we ran into on the Enterprise-B.”
Scotty smiled. “Should have known that not even getting thrown into space would stop you, Jim; Geordie was right when he said he had the perfect new man for my ship.”
“Oh, please, Scotty, in this age I’m not fit to command a garbage scow let alone a starship!”
“Nonsense, sir! It’s a constitution class, and the lads and I have been re-fitting it for months to get it up to code; and strictly off the record, sir, Johnson can’t captain his way out of a paper-bag.”
“Well if, if it means that much to you.”
“Leaving us already?”
Jim turned as Captain Picard entered the room.
“She’s a wonderful ship, Captain, but she’s your Enterprise not mine. I’ll make do with what I can.”
“You haven’t given me an answer about the ambassador and the others should I contact them?”
“No, no such wonderful news. He-they, should hear it from me directly.” A lie of course, but Picard merely nodded.
Well not a complete lie Jim told himself. Scotty was so pleased to see him so he would contact Bones, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov in time; but Spock was out of reach and he knew it. To see him again, to talk to him, it would be too tempting and he would not destroy a marriage for his own selfish desires.
In the end Picard agree to keep his return a secret, wished them well, and Jim promised to keep in touch.
***
The 24th century really wasn’t all that tough. A few modifications as they read up on all the new techniques and the ship ran smooth as glass. He was incredibly lucky and he knew it so Jim did his best to be happy.
It was on a supply eight months in that it happened. Jim had been taking in a late lunch, after dropping off the supplies he’d picked up when the half-Vulcan came into the small café. Jim’s jaw dropped opened in shock and he stared hungrily at the man that had once been his. Time seemed to have barely touched him. His hair wasn’t as black as it had been, and the face was lined deeper than he remembered, but it looked like two decades of aging and not the well over seven it had really been.
He locked eyes with him on accident. Looking into those soft brown eyes, that were widening in shock already, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Even knowing that so much would have to be explained and talked about, and Jim was not sure how to even to start such a discussion. It turned out not to matter though, because a moment later Jim found himself staring at a wall because Spock was passed out on the floor.
***
He had contacted Scotty and they had managed to get him to a small out of the way room. As Spock lay still on the bed Jim sat close to him in a nearby chair. He wanted to watch over Spock until he woke up. Despite feeling angry Jim had never meant to hurt him. He just wanted to get on with his life as Spock already had. Now it seemed that moving on was going to be a bit messier than he had planned.
“Any change?” Scotty asked, as he came in and handed Jim a cup of old coffee.
Jim opened his mouth to answer no when Spock started moving. As Spock came back to consciousness Jim let go of his hand. They were not like that anymore, it was not appropriate.
“Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Spock.”
Spock blinked and slowly pushed himself up to sit against the pillows
“Fascinating. It did not occur to me that Bendii Syndrome might have a genetic component. Nor that the hallucinogenic effects would set in so early.”
Scotty turned to Jim.
“What’s he on about?”
“We’ve been gone for over seventy years and look exactly the same as the day we left. He thinks we aren’t real.”
Scotty smiled. “Well I can assure you we are very real, Mr. Spock. It’s a rather long and complicated story. If you’d like to hear it I-”
“Scotty, don’t you have some work to do on the ship?”
“No I…oh, aye, sir.”
Scotty stood up and quickly left the room.
Spock turned his head to the man who looked like Jim, not entirely ready to believe the impossible one more time.
“Explain.”
Jim slowly recalled the events that had led to his and Scotty’s reappearance on an out of the way space station in a time period that wasn’t theirs.
Spock frowned. It made so much sense in context and yet… “You did not seek me out immediately and from all appearances it seems you did not ever wish to do so, why?”
Spock reached for his hand, only to have Jim pull back
“Jim, have I offended you in some manner?”
Jim bowed his head, feelings of betrayal and loss threatening to surface again.
“No, no it’s just that, well after nearly 80 years how could I have expected otherwise, you’ve moved on, Spock. Going back to what we were, even for a moment, wouldn’t be fair to your wife.”
“My wife?”
“You don’t have to hide it from me I know.”
“Then you have been given false information, Jim, I am not married, nor have I ever been. I made that promise to you and no one else.”
“But, but Picard said he was at your wedding!”
“Captain Picard was at the wedding of a son of Sarek, in this case, Saluk.”
“Saluk?”
“As you yourself said, Jim, it has been almost 80 years. In that time my mother has died. My father remarried, and he and Perrin desired a child together. Saluk is their son. Everything my father could ever wish for in one.” Spock sighed. “My apologies, Jim, I should not be bringing such matters into this discussion.”
Jim waved off whatever new feelings of inadequacy Sarek had managed to put in his son. He simply let the other new information swirl in his head, and make him feel horrible. Spock had been faithful and this was how he repaid him. He had waited for so long and Jim hadn’t even tried to speak to him. Guilt began to eat away at him as he realized that yet more time, the precious little left to them now, had been wasted.
Spock moved towards Jim again, his hand reaching for Jim’s face in a familiar pattern.
“May I?”
Jim nodded and Spock pressed his hand to his face. Letting Jim see how much he had been missed. How many thoughts he had occupied for so many years; it was unbelievable. Of just how many late nights Spock had stayed awake and thought of the promise they had made…of a dream that had gone unfulfilled.
Eventually Jim pulled out of the meld and looked at Spock with tears in his eyes.
“Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld, Jim, you know that.”
Jim just nodded and hugged Spock hard.
“I’m so sorry I ever doubted you. Can you ever forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, my t’hy’la. You did what you believed was right to see me happy. I find no fault in that.”
Jim smiled. “You show emotion, Spock.”
“It has been a long time. I have grown.”
Jim kissed Spock’s neck and let a hand move through the Vulcan’s greying hair.
“I love you.”
“And you have been and always shall be my only love.”
Spock tightened his grip around Jim and he pulled him into the bed.
“I know we aren’t on Earth and we can’t ever be on that bridge again, with them, but I am a captain of a ship again. I could…if you still wish to?”
“I do.”
The End