What Have I Done??
I don't understand what happened this evening, but...it frightens me. I actually let Willie Loomis kiss me, and...then I told him not to leave. Thankfully he did, because I honestly don't know what would have happened between us if he'd agreed to stay with me.
I try telling myself that it's because I haven't seen another living soul in weeks, nor have I been held by the comforting embrace of a man, but...I don't know...it just doesn't fit. What should I do?? I'm actually dreading when he'll come down to the cellar to give me my tray of food, because I'm afraid that everything will be extremely tense and the delicate friendship that we'd started will be ruined. Or worse still, what if both of us remember and we become close again?? He made me feel so safe and warm, but Joe...Joe's my boyfriend. Why does that notion put me at such unease?
I try telling myself that it's because I haven't seen another living soul in weeks, nor have I been held by the comforting embrace of a man, but...I don't know...it just doesn't fit. What should I do?? I'm actually dreading when he'll come down to the cellar to give me my tray of food, because I'm afraid that everything will be extremely tense and the delicate friendship that we'd started will be ruined. Or worse still, what if both of us remember and we become close again?? He made me feel so safe and warm, but Joe...Joe's my boyfriend. Why does that notion put me at such unease?