(no subject)
I've been going to the gym regularly since 2004, when I was informed that the UCSD gym fees were already being added on to my student account, and that I better use it. I like the gym, with its artificiality, stuffiness, and strange smell of sweat and musk that you can only experience there. However, anyone who is a gym member can tell you that certain standards of gym etiquette and courtesy are regularly unmet and vexingly underwhelming. Here are a few faux pas you can witness at any given time, and yes, I am aware that expressing it in this manner is ineffective because the people I am addressing cannot see this.
-The grunting guy. You're a big manly man and you can lift a lot of weight. We know. Just stop grunting and squealing over my Olivia Newton John music, you're screwing up my groove.
-The two people who go on adjacent elliptical machines so they can gossip to each other. Loudly. For an hour without stopping. Talking loudly is not an acceptable way to entertain yourselves while you exercise in an enclosed space with other people around you.
-The guy who stands in front of the mirror admiring his muscles. Dude, you're like 108 pounds. NO, I don't want to "look at that shiet." You're skin and bones and I am pretty sure those are your ribs poking out of your math-a-lon t-shirt. However I am a little jealous because I would like to be as skinny as you are. I saw this one a lot at UCSD.
-The bitchy hot girl who gives dirty looks to other bitchy hot girls, and not-so-hot bitchy girls. I am pretty sure this is the only reason you came to the gym. Well, that and maybe to further perpetuate your eating disorder, but that's a far second.
-The "expert." He thinks he knows everything about exercise and nutrition, and he is ready to bestow his wisdom upon you, especially if you don't want it.
-Whoever turns the TVs to the channel they want to watch, and turns the volume up all the way, even though there are places to plug in headphones on almost all of the cardio machines. You're the only one who wants to watch (and hear) ESPN Poker (why does ESPN have poker anyway??). Stop being cheap and get some 9.99 Gumy headphones.
-The guy who sits on the weight machine, and doesn't use it. I understand if you want to take a little break after doing a lot of reps, but don't sit there all day not using it, and then getting mad when someone else wants to actually exercise on it.
-The guy who leaves everything he uses really, really really sweaty. Dude, wipe things down after you use them. You're gross.
-The guy who puts the big fan on himself and has really bad BO. Thanks for making the whole gym smell.
-The guy who farts a lot. We can smell it and we know it's you. Take it outside or to the bathroom.
-People who spray themselves generously with cologne or perfume. You're making people nauseous.
-The humming person.
-The membership intake people. I know not all of them are like this, but a lot of them employ pretty aggressive sales techniques and are pretty dishonest to try to get more money out of people. When I was shopping around for gyms, the LA Fitness guy quoted me over $300 for the first month, then a little over $100 for subsequent months. Um, what? I am pretty sure that is not the normal price. After I left, he called me twice a day for about 10 days, and I never answered. The 24 hour Fitness guy kept discouraging me from getting the membership I wanted (month to month, with access to only one club). He signed me up for a free personal training session, which consisted of an hour of the personal trainer telling me all of the various bars, shakes, and supplements I needed to buy, which of course happened to be conveniently available within the store (wow how amazing!).
-The grunting guy. You're a big manly man and you can lift a lot of weight. We know. Just stop grunting and squealing over my Olivia Newton John music, you're screwing up my groove.
-The two people who go on adjacent elliptical machines so they can gossip to each other. Loudly. For an hour without stopping. Talking loudly is not an acceptable way to entertain yourselves while you exercise in an enclosed space with other people around you.
-The guy who stands in front of the mirror admiring his muscles. Dude, you're like 108 pounds. NO, I don't want to "look at that shiet." You're skin and bones and I am pretty sure those are your ribs poking out of your math-a-lon t-shirt. However I am a little jealous because I would like to be as skinny as you are. I saw this one a lot at UCSD.
-The bitchy hot girl who gives dirty looks to other bitchy hot girls, and not-so-hot bitchy girls. I am pretty sure this is the only reason you came to the gym. Well, that and maybe to further perpetuate your eating disorder, but that's a far second.
-The "expert." He thinks he knows everything about exercise and nutrition, and he is ready to bestow his wisdom upon you, especially if you don't want it.
-Whoever turns the TVs to the channel they want to watch, and turns the volume up all the way, even though there are places to plug in headphones on almost all of the cardio machines. You're the only one who wants to watch (and hear) ESPN Poker (why does ESPN have poker anyway??). Stop being cheap and get some 9.99 Gumy headphones.
-The guy who sits on the weight machine, and doesn't use it. I understand if you want to take a little break after doing a lot of reps, but don't sit there all day not using it, and then getting mad when someone else wants to actually exercise on it.
-The guy who leaves everything he uses really, really really sweaty. Dude, wipe things down after you use them. You're gross.
-The guy who puts the big fan on himself and has really bad BO. Thanks for making the whole gym smell.
-The guy who farts a lot. We can smell it and we know it's you. Take it outside or to the bathroom.
-People who spray themselves generously with cologne or perfume. You're making people nauseous.
-The humming person.
-The membership intake people. I know not all of them are like this, but a lot of them employ pretty aggressive sales techniques and are pretty dishonest to try to get more money out of people. When I was shopping around for gyms, the LA Fitness guy quoted me over $300 for the first month, then a little over $100 for subsequent months. Um, what? I am pretty sure that is not the normal price. After I left, he called me twice a day for about 10 days, and I never answered. The 24 hour Fitness guy kept discouraging me from getting the membership I wanted (month to month, with access to only one club). He signed me up for a free personal training session, which consisted of an hour of the personal trainer telling me all of the various bars, shakes, and supplements I needed to buy, which of course happened to be conveniently available within the store (wow how amazing!).