I have so much to say, so many differn emotions running through my body and my mind. I just don't know how to put them in words. I have always had a problem expressing exactly what I am feeling and thinking. When I do finally find the words it takes all the strength to finally say them. No matter how much I want to something seems to always hold me ( Read more... )

Last night was fun, allthough I spent most my time in my room with ashley hurt, suda, jessica and myra, which were the people I invited over, the house was full of people, and at one point I was really tired and just wanted to lay with myra talk and fall asleep, but someone would come banging down my fucking door every 10 minutes and it was getting ( Read more... )

How is it that last night was just as perfect as the first night, if not so much better.

I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be strong, I don't know how much longer I can pretend I don't care, I don't know how much longer I can keep up my walls, I don't think I can avoid this heartbreak, I've already steped in to deep, and I don't think I care.

I am so excited, Blake and Nick came by to move in some boxes, I don't know Nick but I love Blake and Phil and can't wait until they move in. Also it means I can actually pay rent with one cheak and bills with the other, still wont really have much money, but hell saving 200 on rent and then more on bills helps. Once we get our bills paid up and up ( Read more... )

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So the other night when Myra was here, I had never wanted to do a photo shoot so bad... I want to do a figure study a casual one, no posing she has the most amazing muscles and bones in her colar, shoulder, back... never have I wanted to take someones picture more. I wonder if she would be up for it.

So last night was probably the most amazing night I have ever had with someone. I finally got balls and called Myra, she came over around 6 last night and just left. I am usually really shy and self concious, but with her it was differnt, we just laid in eachothers arms naked talking and looking into eachothers eyes for hours. I don't think I have ( Read more... )

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