{Fic} Because I love Him (One-shot)
Title: Because I LOVE Him [One-shot]
Author: Magicaltrinity
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Pairing: Akame
Rating: G (^_^)v
Summary: He would ask himself many times…WHY? WHY AM I DOING THIS?? And only four words could ever answer that question…Because…I love him.
Disclaimer: Not related to Johnny in anyway so therefore, there’s NO WAY I’d own anything.
*Un-Beta’d :P
A/N: This was inspired by a poem we took up in English class. The poem is AWESOME :”> Oh yeah, I am crediting Han Yongun for writing that amazing poem. Can’t understand how he managed to write a poem that applies to probably ALL kinds of love. Be it familial, platonic or romantic. You rock. \m/ Anyway, Douzo~ Please enjoy!
Contrary to popular belief…I actually like to read. I enjoy reading. Devouring word after word, page after page and book after book. People may not see through the bad-boy-image but underneath it all, there’s a whole other me that nobody else knows about.
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The famous A of KAT-TUN, Akanishi Jin was spending yet another one of his free days lounging on his couch with a pile of books conveniently placed beside him. Who would believe that underneath his bad boy image…he was a person who had a passionate love towards literature? All people saw was the Jin Akanishi who would spend countless sleepless nights bar hopping and probably banging up a girl or two. In reality, he had little interest in bar hopping and that so-called night life.
Not a lot of people understand his love for books. Some even find him weird. But he really didn’t care. If there was one thing in his interviews that was true it was him always going in his own pace. If you don’t like the way he is…then deal with it. That’s his philosophy.
Right now he was reading a compilation of modern Korean literary works. As he leafed through the pages of the said book, a certain poem caught his attention.
A FERRYBOAT AND A TRAVELER
By Han Yongun
I am a ferryboat,
You are a traveler.
You tread on me with muddy feet,
I embrace you and cross the water.
When I embrace you, I can cross deeps, shallow, or rapids.
When you don’t come, I wait from night to day, exposed to the wind,
wet with snow and rain.
Once across the water, you never look back at me.
Yet I know you will come sooner or later.
Waiting for you, I grow older day after day.
I am a ferryboat,
You are a traveler.
I am a ferryboat…you are a traveler. One line resounds in his head. Silent echoes of an unrequited love overwhelms his being. Reminiscent memories flood his thoughts. I AM A FERRYBOAT…YOU ARE A TRAVELER.
(FLASHBACK)
“What’s wrong with me Jin? Tell me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you…you’re perfectly fine just the way you are.” Jin replied with a small smile.
“Then why is it that I only end up messing up things?! I worked so hard. I gave 100% of myself and in return…I get low ratings. There must be something wrong with me.” Kame retorted, near tears. It was true. He gave his best for his guest appearance on his sempai’s drama but in return he got trash talk and nasty rumors. He couldn’t understand what he was doing wrong. His acting skills have always received good criticism until recently.
They gave in a lot of effort for his guest appearance, even going as far as promoting his episode a few weeks in advance. Everyone was expecting it to be really successful but in the end they just got disappointed. What’s worse is that HE was taking all the blame for what happened.
“Kame, we’ve been over this. I told you. It wasn’t your fault. Believe me…your acting is great.” Jin tried his best to console his band mate. He didn’t like seeing Kame sad. It may sound cheesy but seeing a frown on the younger one’s face made him feel sad as well.
Actually, right now he was confused. Ever since he returned from L.A., he and Kame, weren’t really on the best of terms so he was surprised when the younger one came knocking on his apartment door all of a sudden. He was confused…but on the other hand he couldn’t help but feel happy. Kame was IN HIS apartment. It’s been years since something like this happened and seeing Kame sitting on his couch brought back memories of what their relationship used to be.
“Really?” Kame asked.
“Yes. Really.” Jin replied. To him, Kame was probably the best actor there is. Whenever he would see Kame on TV he couldn’t help but feel very proud. He’s seen the transformation that the younger one went through. From a shy little kid with bushy eyebrows, his best friend, turned into a confident young idol who was ready to face any challenge.
“But…I don’t understand. Why did things end up like this?” Kame asked, feeling really frustrated and upset. He couldn’t help but think that maybe the rumors were true. Maybe he really was at fault for the low ratings.
“I don’t understand it either but this is entertainment. It’s just plain crazy.” Jin answered, trying his best to lighten up the situation. “Rumors are just rumors, they’re made up and fictitious…not to mention stupid. Things that are on the newspaper aren’t always true. What’s important is that you know you gave your best and you believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself no matter what people say it won’t matter.” Jin continued, reassuring Kame.
“Sometimes it’s too hard and believing in myself just doesn’t make much of a difference. Especially when it seems like the rest of the world has stopped believing in me.” the younger one said in response.
“If there are times when you can’t help but think like that…I want you to remember…that Akanishi Jin still exists. And as long as Akanishi Jin exists…there will always be one person who believes in you.” Jin replied, quietly.
There was an awkward silence after his last statement but after that he heard Kame whisper a small thank you with a bright smile on his face. Upon seeing the smile on the other one’s face Jin couldn’t help but smile back. “No matter what…I wish to protect his smile.”
(END OF FLASHBACK)
At that moment, Jin thought that his relationship with Kame was about to take a turn for the better but unfortunately, the day after their “interaction” Kame acted like nothing happened. Just like usual he ignored Jin and chose to hang out with the other members instead.
That time wasn’t the only time that Kame came running to Jin for comfort. It’s happened quite a lot of times that Jin lost count already. And every time Kame would come knocking on his door, he would willingly let the other one in, despite the fact that he knew that once again when everything comes back to normal, Kame would just act like nothing ever happened.
To tell the truth, it hurts. Like hell. But he chooses to ignore the tight feeling in his chest whenever he would see Kame having fun and enjoying with the other members. Because like he said before…No matter what, I wish to protect his smile…
He doesn’t really understand himself either. There have been many times when he felt like he should just let go and move on. He kinda knows already that Kame would never feel anything for him. But he never could let go and move on…deep down inside he keeps hoping that one day maybe Kame would feel the same way. Until that day he would keep waiting…and hoping…but most of all…he would keep believing in Kame.
He would ask himself many times…WHY? WHY AM I DOING THIS?? And only four words could ever answer that question…Because…I love him.