Everyday feels a little easier to breathe as long as i dont think too much. ... Which i always seem to do. I have to let go of the doubts and trust that everything will work out exactly as its suppose to. There is an ache that i suspect will linger until this limbo phase is closer to an end.

My heart aches so damn badly today. I am ready for this constant anxiety and depression to be over and for real healing to begin. I am so ready.

God guide me. I dont know what the right thing to say or do is. Im so scared im going to lose him for good. The idea of completely losing him devastates me. Please God help us through this. Please keep him safe, help him and keep him safe. Please dont take him from me. He deserves to be happy. I love him. I know this now more than ever. We both ( Read more... )

Nothing eases this pain. I sit and wait and hope you call. Just to hear your voice. Im in a state of waiting for you. I feel as though i always have been, and i always will. The only thing that soothes this ache is the warmth and strength of your arms. I will always love you. Always have, always will.

I miss you so fucking bad. I will always love you. You will always be my first love, my soul mate. I just hope you get the help you need and with or without me find true happiness.

I just wish this pain would end. I want to go back to how we were when we first met. I want to show you how much you truly mean to me and i want to be brave enough to tell you to get your shit together and get some help. I want to be with you and i dont know if we can ever have that back. Right now all you can seem to do is blame me for what ( Read more... )

Keep shit to yourself. Just because you think you can trust someone with a secret or a just need to vent doesnt mean they wont come back to you and give you an ultimatum. If you dont tell because I think its the right thing to do the I will. Think about the secret you have and will it be hurtful to ask another to keep it.

And because of this I now ( Read more... )

Im sick of living in a constant state of anxiety and panic. Im sick of feeling like Im in a state of mourning. Mourning for things that have to be put to rest but I dont know how or Im not strong enough to. What has my life become?

I want my life back. I hate everything that I am dealing with right now. I just want to be able to live my life for me. Instead of taking care of other peoples shit. Especially rotten ungrateful people, that seem to think the world and esp me and my family owe them something. I feel like I know what I have to do but I dont know how to do it. A part ( Read more... )

How is September half way over already? 2015 has just flown by. So much has happened and is happening. I have so much left to do too. Just thinking about all I need to do and want to do is overwhelming. One day I will make it a point to update and catch everyone up with what has been going on the last few years...I hope. I feel like as I get older ( Read more... )