Fic: Do I Have To Say The Words? (Torchwood Jack/Ianto NC17)
Title: Do I Have To Say The Words?
Author: magikalrhiannon
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Everything up to season 2 episode 8
Summary: Ianto's tired of Jack flirting with Gwen and the subsequent cow-eyes the golden girl gives the fearless leader to get what she wants.
Word Count: 2828
Disclaimer: All rights belong to BBC and Russell T Davies. I'm just finger-painting in someone else's masterpiece. No infringement intended.
Notes: For kajmere, cuz she owns me.
Ianto frowned when there was a knock on the door to his flat. He closed the book he'd been reading, a bookmark between the pages marking his place, and rested it on the coffee table as he rose from his seat on the sofa when the second round of knocking rapt against the wooden door.
“I'm coming,” he muttered, as he marched over to the door, running a hand through his hair. Opening the door, he let out the breath he was holding. “Jack.”
“Can I come in?” his … dabbling partner asked from where he was lounging against the door frame.
“Why? Gwen turn you down?” Ianto steeled himself, not opening the door any further and holding his ground. The look on Jack's face made Ianto's heart clench. He knew his words hit Jack where it hurt, but dammit, he was tired of being made to feel like he was second best, the settled for choice because first choice wasn't available.
“Ianto, c'mon, it's not like that,” Jack pleaded softly.
“Yeah, Jack, it is, and we both know it. So let's not pretend that what's between us is anything but. I don't appreciate being treated like an idiot.”
Jack sighed deeply and looked down at the floor. “Can we talk about this inside, please? I'm sure you don't want your neighbours knowing everything about your lovelife.”
“Do we really have anything to talk about?” Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow. Lovelife? What lovelife? More like sexlife, and come to think of it, Mrs Norris is a nosy parker.
Jack stood up straight. “Clearly we do if you think that you're second best.”
Ianto clenched his jaw. “Fine.” He pushed the door open and allowed Jack to walk inside. Ianto closed the door behind him. “Right. So, say what you've got to say, and then please leave.” Ianto didn't move farther than the small kitchen which was right by the front door. Jack stood still in the tiny hall way.
“Ianto...”
“No, Jack. I'm not in the mood. I've put up with this for far too long, and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of it.” Ianto folded his arms over his chest. “So just say what you've got to say, and get out.”
Jack looked at the floor then closed his eyes. When he raised his head and opened them, he released the breath he was holding. He stood ramrod straight, his arms at his side, his coat around him like a shield, but Ianto could see that his eyes held a vulnerability in them.
“I don't want Gwen, Ianto.”
Ianto spat out a laugh and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Liar.”
“I chose you.”
“No, Jack. Gwen chose Rhys because you left us. Let's be honest. If you hadn't fucked off with your right Doctor, I'd be still here alone, and you'd be somewhere fucking the living daylights out of Little Miss Perfect, so please, don't patronise me. I'm not a fucking idiot.” Ianto sighed frustratedly.
“Ianto, please. That's not true,” Jack begged, stepping forward but stopped when Ianto backed further away and moved his arms from across his body to grip the counter behind him, mainly to stop himself to grabbing something and breaking it over Jack's head.
“Jack, be honest with yourself. Be honest with me,” Ianto pleaded. “I've seen you watching her. Gwen gets everything. She wants time off, she gets it. Rhys finds out about Torchwood and won't retcon him, you let her get away with it. Tosh is in love with Owen, so she fucks him too. Everything she wants, she gets. She's got you so wrapped around her little finger, and the worst part is, you know it. You flirt with her, pant after her like a fucking puppy chasing a piece of fucking steak.” He shook his head. “I can't do this anymore Jack.”
“What are you saying?” Jack asked urgently, stepping forward.
“I'm saying this, between us? I can't do this anymore. I... I'm not even sure I want to come back to Torchwood, Jack. I can't watch you and her, together. You want her, Jack. I know you do. I can see it on your face every time you watch her with him on the CCTV.” Ianto closed his eyes and looked at the ground. He shook his head. “I don't even know how any of this started. I don't know how it became like this for me. First it was just to protect Lisa. Then it was sex, to feel something. Now...” Ianto dragged in air. He shook his head again. “But I can't go on feeling like this anymore. I can't breathe anymore. I'm suffocating and I can't breathe-”
Jack pulled Ianto into his arms, struggling when Ianto fought him. “Ianto, stop, just stop baby, please, c'mon, stop." Ianto went rigid in his arms. Jack hugged him, tightening his grip as his eyes filled with tears. “You're not second best, Ianto,” he whispered. Jack pulled back and moved his hands to hold Ianto's cheeks and force him to look at Jack. “Listen to me, and you damn well better listen hard. I do not want Gwen Cooper. You hear me?” Jack pressed a kiss to Ianto's forehead. “Fuck, I can't believe you don't know, you don't realise...” Jack mumbled, his body trembling with fear, with shock.
“Jack,” Ianto pushed at Jack.
“No, Ianto. You said your piece, now you will damn well listen to mine!” Jack said. He took a deep breath. “I'll admit that I find her attractive. She has all the qualities I find attractive in a person,” he started.
“Yeah, two legs, sex organs and breathing,” Ianto muttered.
“The two legs part isn't compulsory,” Jack smiled, and waited until Ianto rolled his eyes before he continued. “Nevertheless, it's Torchwood that needs her, Ianto. Not me. Okay, I need her on the job. I was far too cold, far too clinical before she joined the team, we all were. Gwen reminds me, reminds us all to be more human about what we do.”
“That doesn't mean we all want to fuck her,” Ianto griped.
“No, my prickly pear, it doesn't. C'mon, Ianto, don't you find other people attractive?” Jack pleaded.
“Of course I do!” Ianto burst out. Jack looked happy for a moment, until Ianto added, “But I don't work with them! I mean Tosh is … okay, but I don't have any sexual attraction to her at all. Gwen, well I think we all know my feelings towards her right now, and I'd rather kill myself than even think of touching Owen. And quite frankly, right now you're not looking that attractive to me either.”
“Hey! I'm always attractive.”
“Pheromones aside, which I think I'm growing immune to, your behaviour has made you less than desirable to me.”
Jack sighed. “Look. Ianto. If you're feeling insecure about us-”
“There is no us,” Ianto insisted.
Jack rubbed his thumb over Ianto's cheekbone. “I was rather hoping there was,” he said softly. “Like I said, I chose you. When I asked you on that date, I meant it. When I took you on that date, I meant it, and every other date since. I may flirt, but that's just me. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, and I can try to tone it down a little. It's just been part of my personality for so long, that I forget I'm doing it. There hasn't been anyone else for me since we gave this another try after Lisa, including when I left. I promise you. Yes, I am attracted to Gwen. I can't help that. But being attracted to someone and acting on those feelings are two different things. And can I say that you were attracted to me when you were with Lisa and you did act on those feelings.”
“Lisa was gone before I went to you,” Ianto whispered, “I know that now. But don't think I wasn't wracked with guilt over that for months. Still am. You, Jack, you tangle me up and turn me inside out.”
“Don't leave me, Ianto, please.” Jack closed his eyes and nuzzled at Ianto's jawline. “I don't know what I'd do without you. Please...”
“I'm sure you could talk Gwen into leaving Rhys...” Ianto murmured, relaxing into Jack's embrace for the first time since Jack pulled him into it.
“Don't want to. As much as I'm attracted to her, we'd kill each other within days.”
“So I'm your only hope for survival?” Ianto questioned. “That's charming.”
“What can I say? I'm a romantic,” Jack teased, moving his lips up to his cheek. Ianto pulled back and looked at Jack intently. “You're my first choice,” Jack said honestly, his eyes staring into Ianto's.
Ianto didn't reply, he just leaned forward and captured Jack's lips with his. Jack moaned loudly, and immediately sought to deepen the kiss. Ianto opened his mouth, tongues tangling and tumbling together.
“Take me to bed, Jack,” Ianto murmured against Jack's mouth, as he wrapped his arms around Jack's neck. He groaned in surprise when Jack lifted him up, and immediately wrapped his legs around Jack's hips. Jack carried him into Ianto's bedroom and they collapsed onto Ianto's bed.
Jack's mouth claimed Ianto's again and again. Ianto pushed at Jack's clothes, shoving his jacket off, before fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he rolled them to straddle Jack's hips. He sat up a little, chest heaving as he yanked at Jack's shirt from his pants, causing Jack to laugh and shrug out of his suspenders before wriggling enough to lift up and allow Ianto to pull his dress shirt off. Ianto tossed the shirt across the room.
“I love it when you're jealous,” Jack chuckled as Ianto pulled at his undershirt and yanked it up and over Jack's head as well. “You're so hot and forceful.”
“Yes, well, shut up,” Ianto grumbled, pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing it onto the floor.
“Did I mention how delicious you look in flannel pyjamas and a t-shirt?” Jack asked, his hands on Ianto's hips and pulling him down against his groin as he ground upwards, rocking hard. Ianto groaned and his hands fumbled with Jack's belt, yanking it open hard. Jack made a gasping sound.
“No, but then you'd find a potato sack hot given the right model,” Ianto muttered as he undid Jack's pants and pulled them down, lifting up enough to move them down his legs and out of his way. He then turned back to help Jack kick off his shoes, pull off his socks and remove his pants and shove them to the floor. Jack's hands pushed at his pyjama pants and as Jack bared Ianto's arse, Ianto reached for the nightstand and opened the drawer, extracting a tube of lube. Slamming it shut, he turned back and kicked out of the pants Jack had pulled down.
Ianto slicked up three fingers, and threw a leg over Jack's hips, pushing him back down onto the bed again. Reaching back around, he inserted two fingers into himself, relishing the burn, stretching quickly and efficiently. Jack went to help but Ianto lapped his hand away.
“Touch me and I'll get off you so fast your head will spin,” Ianto threatened, stopping all movement as he said it. “Do not test me, Jack. I'll get myself off in the bathroom and kick your arse out of my flat.”
Jack's breath hitched, and his hands went back to Ianto's hips, clentching tightly. “Yes, Sir.”
Ianto watched him for a moment, before he was satisfied enough with Jack's compliance to resume rocking on his fingers. He added a third finger, and moaned at the burn and stretch. He purposely avoided his prostrate, wanting Jack's cock to stimulate it.
“Can I kiss you? Please? Ianto, please, let me kiss you?” Jack begged, his fingers gripping so hard on Ianto's hips he knew he'd have bruises the next day. Ianto nodded, and Jack surged up and captured Ianto's lips in a searing kiss. As he plundered Ianto's mouth, Ianto pulled his fingers out of his arse, and fumbled for the lube. He messily managed to squirt some into his hand and reached down to grip Jack between them. Jack's mouth opened wider, his tongue thrust fast and deeper into Ianto's mouth as Ianto spread the lube over Jack's cock, stroking and jacking him off. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck...” Jack tore his mouth from Ianto's, panting.
Ianto held Jack's cock steady, rose up and slid down slowly onto Jack, relishing the burn and stretch as Jack's cock slid into him. Jack's arms slid around him and he pulled Ianto closer, helping to push him down to his hips as Jack thrust up slowly into that delicious heat. Ianto's head fell back, and Jack latched his mouth onto Ianto's neck, sucking and licking on whatever skin he could reach. When Ianto's arse hit Jack's legs, they both stopped, panting, sweating.
“How could you think?” Jack muttered, kissing Ianto's neck, his cheek, his forehead. Pulling back, he looked into Ianto's eyes. “How could you think I would want this with anyone else?” Jack asked. Jack kissed him deeply. “It's you, Ianto. Only you.”
Ianto swallowed hard, his eyes clouding over with tears. Closing them, he kissed Jack deeply and moved, rising slowly and sinking again. They moved symbiotically, their tempo that of a symphony, starting slowly and continually increasing in tempo before the crescendo when orgasms exploded, first Jack, then Ianto. Jack held the trembling Welshman against him, kissing his shoulders and neck.
“You okay?” Jack asked softly. Ianto nodded. “Are we okay?”
Ianto sighed. “Yep.”
Jack moved to look at Ianto, lifting his head. “Ianto, are we okay? Because I don't think I could handle it if we're not.”
Ianto didn't say anything for a moment. Then he drew in a deep breath and let it go. “I don't think I'll ever be okay with how close you are with Gwen,” Ianto started. Jack went to open his mouth but Ianto continued, “Let me finish.” Jack nodded. “I won't ever be okay with it, because I know the attraction is on both sides. It's a ticking time bomb, Jack, and it's only a matter of time before one of you caves and gives in.”
Jack felt his heart break. Ianto didn't believe that Jack loved him. “Ianto...”
“Perhaps I won't live long enough to witness it,” Ianto mused, then shook his head. “No matter. If you promise me that it won't be you that gives in, then I'll hold you to that promise, Jack.” Ianto lifted himself off Jack's lap and out of his embrace, padding to the bathroom. Jack heard the tap turn on and off again before Ianto returned and gently cleaned him up with a warm wash cloth.
“Can I stay tonight?” Jack asked insecurely, when Ianto returned from his second trip to the bathroom and started to pick up the clothes that were tossed around the room.
“Yes,” Ianto nodded, and hung up the clothes quickly and efficiently before disappearing from the room. Jack heard him lock up the tiny flat. When he returned to the bedroom, Jack was already beneath the covers. Ianto slid between the sheets. “Don't you need to monitor the rift?”
“Owen is covering. One of the benefits of never needing to sleep, I guess,” Jack mumbled as he shifted closer to Ianto and pulled him into Jack's arms, rearranging them so that Jack was touching as much of Ianto as possible. “He'll call if there's a problem.”
“No doubt at 3am,” Ianto complained sleepily, moving his head as he snuggled against his warm lover. Ianto drifted into sleep quickly.
Jack laid there a little while longer, listening to Ianto breathe. “Oh Ianto... how can I get you to understand how much you mean to me? Do I have to say the words?” He asked quietly in the dark. “Do I have to say those three words that will spell doom to us all? If I say them out loud, I just know that will be the end. It always is. And I just want to keep you, just a while longer. A lifetime longer. It's you, Ianto. It'll always be you. Please believe me, know what I mean in my heart. If only you could read my mind. It's always you...” Jack kissed Ianto's hair and drifted off to sleep.
Author: magikalrhiannon
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Everything up to season 2 episode 8
Summary: Ianto's tired of Jack flirting with Gwen and the subsequent cow-eyes the golden girl gives the fearless leader to get what she wants.
Word Count: 2828
Disclaimer: All rights belong to BBC and Russell T Davies. I'm just finger-painting in someone else's masterpiece. No infringement intended.
Notes: For kajmere, cuz she owns me.
Ianto frowned when there was a knock on the door to his flat. He closed the book he'd been reading, a bookmark between the pages marking his place, and rested it on the coffee table as he rose from his seat on the sofa when the second round of knocking rapt against the wooden door.
“I'm coming,” he muttered, as he marched over to the door, running a hand through his hair. Opening the door, he let out the breath he was holding. “Jack.”
“Can I come in?” his … dabbling partner asked from where he was lounging against the door frame.
“Why? Gwen turn you down?” Ianto steeled himself, not opening the door any further and holding his ground. The look on Jack's face made Ianto's heart clench. He knew his words hit Jack where it hurt, but dammit, he was tired of being made to feel like he was second best, the settled for choice because first choice wasn't available.
“Ianto, c'mon, it's not like that,” Jack pleaded softly.
“Yeah, Jack, it is, and we both know it. So let's not pretend that what's between us is anything but. I don't appreciate being treated like an idiot.”
Jack sighed deeply and looked down at the floor. “Can we talk about this inside, please? I'm sure you don't want your neighbours knowing everything about your lovelife.”
“Do we really have anything to talk about?” Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow. Lovelife? What lovelife? More like sexlife, and come to think of it, Mrs Norris is a nosy parker.
Jack stood up straight. “Clearly we do if you think that you're second best.”
Ianto clenched his jaw. “Fine.” He pushed the door open and allowed Jack to walk inside. Ianto closed the door behind him. “Right. So, say what you've got to say, and then please leave.” Ianto didn't move farther than the small kitchen which was right by the front door. Jack stood still in the tiny hall way.
“Ianto...”
“No, Jack. I'm not in the mood. I've put up with this for far too long, and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of it.” Ianto folded his arms over his chest. “So just say what you've got to say, and get out.”
Jack looked at the floor then closed his eyes. When he raised his head and opened them, he released the breath he was holding. He stood ramrod straight, his arms at his side, his coat around him like a shield, but Ianto could see that his eyes held a vulnerability in them.
“I don't want Gwen, Ianto.”
Ianto spat out a laugh and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Liar.”
“I chose you.”
“No, Jack. Gwen chose Rhys because you left us. Let's be honest. If you hadn't fucked off with your right Doctor, I'd be still here alone, and you'd be somewhere fucking the living daylights out of Little Miss Perfect, so please, don't patronise me. I'm not a fucking idiot.” Ianto sighed frustratedly.
“Ianto, please. That's not true,” Jack begged, stepping forward but stopped when Ianto backed further away and moved his arms from across his body to grip the counter behind him, mainly to stop himself to grabbing something and breaking it over Jack's head.
“Jack, be honest with yourself. Be honest with me,” Ianto pleaded. “I've seen you watching her. Gwen gets everything. She wants time off, she gets it. Rhys finds out about Torchwood and won't retcon him, you let her get away with it. Tosh is in love with Owen, so she fucks him too. Everything she wants, she gets. She's got you so wrapped around her little finger, and the worst part is, you know it. You flirt with her, pant after her like a fucking puppy chasing a piece of fucking steak.” He shook his head. “I can't do this anymore Jack.”
“What are you saying?” Jack asked urgently, stepping forward.
“I'm saying this, between us? I can't do this anymore. I... I'm not even sure I want to come back to Torchwood, Jack. I can't watch you and her, together. You want her, Jack. I know you do. I can see it on your face every time you watch her with him on the CCTV.” Ianto closed his eyes and looked at the ground. He shook his head. “I don't even know how any of this started. I don't know how it became like this for me. First it was just to protect Lisa. Then it was sex, to feel something. Now...” Ianto dragged in air. He shook his head again. “But I can't go on feeling like this anymore. I can't breathe anymore. I'm suffocating and I can't breathe-”
Jack pulled Ianto into his arms, struggling when Ianto fought him. “Ianto, stop, just stop baby, please, c'mon, stop." Ianto went rigid in his arms. Jack hugged him, tightening his grip as his eyes filled with tears. “You're not second best, Ianto,” he whispered. Jack pulled back and moved his hands to hold Ianto's cheeks and force him to look at Jack. “Listen to me, and you damn well better listen hard. I do not want Gwen Cooper. You hear me?” Jack pressed a kiss to Ianto's forehead. “Fuck, I can't believe you don't know, you don't realise...” Jack mumbled, his body trembling with fear, with shock.
“Jack,” Ianto pushed at Jack.
“No, Ianto. You said your piece, now you will damn well listen to mine!” Jack said. He took a deep breath. “I'll admit that I find her attractive. She has all the qualities I find attractive in a person,” he started.
“Yeah, two legs, sex organs and breathing,” Ianto muttered.
“The two legs part isn't compulsory,” Jack smiled, and waited until Ianto rolled his eyes before he continued. “Nevertheless, it's Torchwood that needs her, Ianto. Not me. Okay, I need her on the job. I was far too cold, far too clinical before she joined the team, we all were. Gwen reminds me, reminds us all to be more human about what we do.”
“That doesn't mean we all want to fuck her,” Ianto griped.
“No, my prickly pear, it doesn't. C'mon, Ianto, don't you find other people attractive?” Jack pleaded.
“Of course I do!” Ianto burst out. Jack looked happy for a moment, until Ianto added, “But I don't work with them! I mean Tosh is … okay, but I don't have any sexual attraction to her at all. Gwen, well I think we all know my feelings towards her right now, and I'd rather kill myself than even think of touching Owen. And quite frankly, right now you're not looking that attractive to me either.”
“Hey! I'm always attractive.”
“Pheromones aside, which I think I'm growing immune to, your behaviour has made you less than desirable to me.”
Jack sighed. “Look. Ianto. If you're feeling insecure about us-”
“There is no us,” Ianto insisted.
Jack rubbed his thumb over Ianto's cheekbone. “I was rather hoping there was,” he said softly. “Like I said, I chose you. When I asked you on that date, I meant it. When I took you on that date, I meant it, and every other date since. I may flirt, but that's just me. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, and I can try to tone it down a little. It's just been part of my personality for so long, that I forget I'm doing it. There hasn't been anyone else for me since we gave this another try after Lisa, including when I left. I promise you. Yes, I am attracted to Gwen. I can't help that. But being attracted to someone and acting on those feelings are two different things. And can I say that you were attracted to me when you were with Lisa and you did act on those feelings.”
“Lisa was gone before I went to you,” Ianto whispered, “I know that now. But don't think I wasn't wracked with guilt over that for months. Still am. You, Jack, you tangle me up and turn me inside out.”
“Don't leave me, Ianto, please.” Jack closed his eyes and nuzzled at Ianto's jawline. “I don't know what I'd do without you. Please...”
“I'm sure you could talk Gwen into leaving Rhys...” Ianto murmured, relaxing into Jack's embrace for the first time since Jack pulled him into it.
“Don't want to. As much as I'm attracted to her, we'd kill each other within days.”
“So I'm your only hope for survival?” Ianto questioned. “That's charming.”
“What can I say? I'm a romantic,” Jack teased, moving his lips up to his cheek. Ianto pulled back and looked at Jack intently. “You're my first choice,” Jack said honestly, his eyes staring into Ianto's.
Ianto didn't reply, he just leaned forward and captured Jack's lips with his. Jack moaned loudly, and immediately sought to deepen the kiss. Ianto opened his mouth, tongues tangling and tumbling together.
“Take me to bed, Jack,” Ianto murmured against Jack's mouth, as he wrapped his arms around Jack's neck. He groaned in surprise when Jack lifted him up, and immediately wrapped his legs around Jack's hips. Jack carried him into Ianto's bedroom and they collapsed onto Ianto's bed.
Jack's mouth claimed Ianto's again and again. Ianto pushed at Jack's clothes, shoving his jacket off, before fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he rolled them to straddle Jack's hips. He sat up a little, chest heaving as he yanked at Jack's shirt from his pants, causing Jack to laugh and shrug out of his suspenders before wriggling enough to lift up and allow Ianto to pull his dress shirt off. Ianto tossed the shirt across the room.
“I love it when you're jealous,” Jack chuckled as Ianto pulled at his undershirt and yanked it up and over Jack's head as well. “You're so hot and forceful.”
“Yes, well, shut up,” Ianto grumbled, pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing it onto the floor.
“Did I mention how delicious you look in flannel pyjamas and a t-shirt?” Jack asked, his hands on Ianto's hips and pulling him down against his groin as he ground upwards, rocking hard. Ianto groaned and his hands fumbled with Jack's belt, yanking it open hard. Jack made a gasping sound.
“No, but then you'd find a potato sack hot given the right model,” Ianto muttered as he undid Jack's pants and pulled them down, lifting up enough to move them down his legs and out of his way. He then turned back to help Jack kick off his shoes, pull off his socks and remove his pants and shove them to the floor. Jack's hands pushed at his pyjama pants and as Jack bared Ianto's arse, Ianto reached for the nightstand and opened the drawer, extracting a tube of lube. Slamming it shut, he turned back and kicked out of the pants Jack had pulled down.
Ianto slicked up three fingers, and threw a leg over Jack's hips, pushing him back down onto the bed again. Reaching back around, he inserted two fingers into himself, relishing the burn, stretching quickly and efficiently. Jack went to help but Ianto lapped his hand away.
“Touch me and I'll get off you so fast your head will spin,” Ianto threatened, stopping all movement as he said it. “Do not test me, Jack. I'll get myself off in the bathroom and kick your arse out of my flat.”
Jack's breath hitched, and his hands went back to Ianto's hips, clentching tightly. “Yes, Sir.”
Ianto watched him for a moment, before he was satisfied enough with Jack's compliance to resume rocking on his fingers. He added a third finger, and moaned at the burn and stretch. He purposely avoided his prostrate, wanting Jack's cock to stimulate it.
“Can I kiss you? Please? Ianto, please, let me kiss you?” Jack begged, his fingers gripping so hard on Ianto's hips he knew he'd have bruises the next day. Ianto nodded, and Jack surged up and captured Ianto's lips in a searing kiss. As he plundered Ianto's mouth, Ianto pulled his fingers out of his arse, and fumbled for the lube. He messily managed to squirt some into his hand and reached down to grip Jack between them. Jack's mouth opened wider, his tongue thrust fast and deeper into Ianto's mouth as Ianto spread the lube over Jack's cock, stroking and jacking him off. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck...” Jack tore his mouth from Ianto's, panting.
Ianto held Jack's cock steady, rose up and slid down slowly onto Jack, relishing the burn and stretch as Jack's cock slid into him. Jack's arms slid around him and he pulled Ianto closer, helping to push him down to his hips as Jack thrust up slowly into that delicious heat. Ianto's head fell back, and Jack latched his mouth onto Ianto's neck, sucking and licking on whatever skin he could reach. When Ianto's arse hit Jack's legs, they both stopped, panting, sweating.
“How could you think?” Jack muttered, kissing Ianto's neck, his cheek, his forehead. Pulling back, he looked into Ianto's eyes. “How could you think I would want this with anyone else?” Jack asked. Jack kissed him deeply. “It's you, Ianto. Only you.”
Ianto swallowed hard, his eyes clouding over with tears. Closing them, he kissed Jack deeply and moved, rising slowly and sinking again. They moved symbiotically, their tempo that of a symphony, starting slowly and continually increasing in tempo before the crescendo when orgasms exploded, first Jack, then Ianto. Jack held the trembling Welshman against him, kissing his shoulders and neck.
“You okay?” Jack asked softly. Ianto nodded. “Are we okay?”
Ianto sighed. “Yep.”
Jack moved to look at Ianto, lifting his head. “Ianto, are we okay? Because I don't think I could handle it if we're not.”
Ianto didn't say anything for a moment. Then he drew in a deep breath and let it go. “I don't think I'll ever be okay with how close you are with Gwen,” Ianto started. Jack went to open his mouth but Ianto continued, “Let me finish.” Jack nodded. “I won't ever be okay with it, because I know the attraction is on both sides. It's a ticking time bomb, Jack, and it's only a matter of time before one of you caves and gives in.”
Jack felt his heart break. Ianto didn't believe that Jack loved him. “Ianto...”
“Perhaps I won't live long enough to witness it,” Ianto mused, then shook his head. “No matter. If you promise me that it won't be you that gives in, then I'll hold you to that promise, Jack.” Ianto lifted himself off Jack's lap and out of his embrace, padding to the bathroom. Jack heard the tap turn on and off again before Ianto returned and gently cleaned him up with a warm wash cloth.
“Can I stay tonight?” Jack asked insecurely, when Ianto returned from his second trip to the bathroom and started to pick up the clothes that were tossed around the room.
“Yes,” Ianto nodded, and hung up the clothes quickly and efficiently before disappearing from the room. Jack heard him lock up the tiny flat. When he returned to the bedroom, Jack was already beneath the covers. Ianto slid between the sheets. “Don't you need to monitor the rift?”
“Owen is covering. One of the benefits of never needing to sleep, I guess,” Jack mumbled as he shifted closer to Ianto and pulled him into Jack's arms, rearranging them so that Jack was touching as much of Ianto as possible. “He'll call if there's a problem.”
“No doubt at 3am,” Ianto complained sleepily, moving his head as he snuggled against his warm lover. Ianto drifted into sleep quickly.
Jack laid there a little while longer, listening to Ianto breathe. “Oh Ianto... how can I get you to understand how much you mean to me? Do I have to say the words?” He asked quietly in the dark. “Do I have to say those three words that will spell doom to us all? If I say them out loud, I just know that will be the end. It always is. And I just want to keep you, just a while longer. A lifetime longer. It's you, Ianto. It'll always be you. Please believe me, know what I mean in my heart. If only you could read my mind. It's always you...” Jack kissed Ianto's hair and drifted off to sleep.