Sand-Shimmer: Chapter 1
Category: Genshin Impact
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: Teens
Summary:
Xiao gets his name, and learns a couple of things in the process.
First memory: Jelly-like, melting. Sweet-delicate. Red.
“The good ones,” his lord says. He reclines in his throne. The rings on his fingers glint in the pale light draining from the high windows. “Eat the good ones.”
He does. They fill his belly. They are good.
This, he dislikes.
The fingers in his hair shift, combs through greasy strands - he has not had the time to wash. His lord’s hands drop to cup his face. A nail digs into his cheek. “I was lucky to find you.”
When his lord pulls him into his chest, he curls against him.
***
Rex Lapis stays his hand. “Drop it,” he says, like a man chastising a dog chewing on something it shouldn’t be.
The pressure around his wrist increases; the bones are going to snap. The dagger clatters to the ground, into the dark puddle spreading from his lord’s body. “I am to join Master.” His voice rasps. He licks cracked lips. He may be punished - no question had been asked for him to speak.
Rex Lapis’ face is a stone; he has taken a human form, tall and fine-boned with well-kept dark hair. How could his hair be so immaculate? He had just gored Master with his spear, slit him open like an envelope. “What is your name?”
“This one has no name.”
Narrowed eyes. Golden.
He braces himself.
“How were you called?”
Why has he not been thrown into the wall yet? “It was not difficult.” A flick of the hand, a pointed finger, a meaningful You. Sometimes, it would be little bird, and those times always had more red, more jellysweet.
“Before he captured you?”
“This one does not recall.”
Rex Lapis says, “If I leave, will you take your life?”
So many questions. “This one will fulfil his duty.”
“I free you from the god of dreams’ shackles. You are no longer bound to him, and have no further duties.” Rex Lapis picks crusted blood out of his claws. The world crumbles to pieces without making a sound. “Get out.” He turns to leave, but his robe is grasped with grimy hands.
“This one will serve you.” There is an edge of desperation in his voice that he resents.
Rex Lapis pries his hands off. Even like this, even with cartilage and soot on his face, he is cleaner than this thrall has ever been. “I said you are free to go.”
“This one wishes to be your faithful servant.” Clarity, cool and life-giving as springwater. He will remain by Rex Lapis’ side, for as long as either one of them lives. “This one will not protest your wishes.”
“My wish is for you to be free.”
“In my freedom, I ask this.” He prostrates himself. I feels odd in his mouth. Foreign. Large. His teeth cannot fit around it. He would kiss Rex Lapis’ feet, if they were closer.
A sigh. Not angry. Perhaps tired. “I am leaving.”
And Rex Lapis is gone. The battlefield stretches barren and scorched and pierced with many bolts of giant rocks. Wisps of gold curl around them and dissipate into the wind.
He sits up. The world blurs in and out. He stands and his legs collapse. He gets up again and begins to walk.
His feet crack and blister.
He keeps walking.
When he is done with one place, he teleports to another. I do not require food or sleep, he thinks, again and again, as he sees, through windows, snatches of families arguing at tables, women tucking children into lumpy beds, boys spoonfeeding their nieces. Sometimes he sits on rooftops and curls up and imagines that the warmth from below is seeping into him.
It is no longer so cold that he cannot wash himself in a stream, and he does so, scrubbing his underarms and toes and the place between his legs. Flakes of dried blood drift into the water.
“You followed me here?”
The voice of the mountain, of the folds of the earth. Is he under a spell? He turns, expecting a mage, a witch, a lesser god.
Rex Lapis stands at the edge of the water, the ends of his robes wafting in the ripples.
“No.” He swallows. His throat hurts. “Searched.”
The slightest of tics on Rex Lapis’ marble face. “You searched…it has been months. No, a year.”
“This one - ” A string of coughs. He has not spoken in a long time. “This one wishes to serve you.” He cares not that he is unclothed, wet, with filth still half sticking to him. He gets the feeling that Rex Lapis does - he seems uncomfortable, in his darting eyes, in the minute shifts of his body.
Rex Lapis’ brow furrows, like he is in pain.
“Lord, this one can bring you qingxin for - ”
“Silence.”
He is silent.
Rex Lapis pinches the bridge of nose. “No, not like - please, it was not an order.”
“This foolish one does not understand.”
A pause. The water babbles a high sweet note. “How long would you search, if I turned you away again?”
“Until this one’s life ran out.” He is not made to sit there, unused, like a chunk of iron.
Did Rex Lapis always have those smudges of grey beneath his eyes? “You understand - I will never forgive myself for this.”
His heart thrums. Blood sings in his veins. He will have a new master. “My lord has nothing to forgive himself for.” He goes to Rex Lapis, kneels, only to have his shoulders held by large strong hands. Claws prick into his arm, but do not break the skin. “As your lord, this is your first command: Never kneel to me.” Rex Lapis does not wait for a response. “Put on your clothes, and follow me.”
He ends his day with a name. Xiao. Glistening sweetbitter. Smooth unsullied jade. His.
***
“Once the snow is thick enough, we can eat it.”
Rex Lapis stares at him.
“There was a village,” Xiao begins to explain. “In the mountains, where my previous master ruled. I saw the humans there eating snow.” He remembers it clear as day: A woman with a squirming, swaddled infant. A man with ice in his grey-flecked beard. The infant’s squalls had been lost in the wind.
Rex Lapis’ expression shutters. “There must have been a famine.”
Xiao’s gut twists.
He had liked it. It had crunched between his teeth, given him a headache that distracted him from the dream-eat desire. That desire had faded when the god of dreams died - but it never went away.
He still eats snow, sometimes, packs it tight in his fist, licks it like something sweet.
Rex Lapis says, “Perhaps you can be taught a few things about human societies. It will come in use on your patrols.”
“Yes, Master.” Guilt sickens Xiao. He hadn’t realised - he hadn’t known. He had thought they enjoyed it.
A hand rests on his shoulder, and he starts.
“You’re fine,” Rex Lapis says.
Xiao does not believe him.
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: Teens
Summary:
Xiao gets his name, and learns a couple of things in the process.
First memory: Jelly-like, melting. Sweet-delicate. Red.
“The good ones,” his lord says. He reclines in his throne. The rings on his fingers glint in the pale light draining from the high windows. “Eat the good ones.”
He does. They fill his belly. They are good.
This, he dislikes.
The fingers in his hair shift, combs through greasy strands - he has not had the time to wash. His lord’s hands drop to cup his face. A nail digs into his cheek. “I was lucky to find you.”
When his lord pulls him into his chest, he curls against him.
***
Rex Lapis stays his hand. “Drop it,” he says, like a man chastising a dog chewing on something it shouldn’t be.
The pressure around his wrist increases; the bones are going to snap. The dagger clatters to the ground, into the dark puddle spreading from his lord’s body. “I am to join Master.” His voice rasps. He licks cracked lips. He may be punished - no question had been asked for him to speak.
Rex Lapis’ face is a stone; he has taken a human form, tall and fine-boned with well-kept dark hair. How could his hair be so immaculate? He had just gored Master with his spear, slit him open like an envelope. “What is your name?”
“This one has no name.”
Narrowed eyes. Golden.
He braces himself.
“How were you called?”
Why has he not been thrown into the wall yet? “It was not difficult.” A flick of the hand, a pointed finger, a meaningful You. Sometimes, it would be little bird, and those times always had more red, more jellysweet.
“Before he captured you?”
“This one does not recall.”
Rex Lapis says, “If I leave, will you take your life?”
So many questions. “This one will fulfil his duty.”
“I free you from the god of dreams’ shackles. You are no longer bound to him, and have no further duties.” Rex Lapis picks crusted blood out of his claws. The world crumbles to pieces without making a sound. “Get out.” He turns to leave, but his robe is grasped with grimy hands.
“This one will serve you.” There is an edge of desperation in his voice that he resents.
Rex Lapis pries his hands off. Even like this, even with cartilage and soot on his face, he is cleaner than this thrall has ever been. “I said you are free to go.”
“This one wishes to be your faithful servant.” Clarity, cool and life-giving as springwater. He will remain by Rex Lapis’ side, for as long as either one of them lives. “This one will not protest your wishes.”
“My wish is for you to be free.”
“In my freedom, I ask this.” He prostrates himself. I feels odd in his mouth. Foreign. Large. His teeth cannot fit around it. He would kiss Rex Lapis’ feet, if they were closer.
A sigh. Not angry. Perhaps tired. “I am leaving.”
And Rex Lapis is gone. The battlefield stretches barren and scorched and pierced with many bolts of giant rocks. Wisps of gold curl around them and dissipate into the wind.
He sits up. The world blurs in and out. He stands and his legs collapse. He gets up again and begins to walk.
His feet crack and blister.
He keeps walking.
When he is done with one place, he teleports to another. I do not require food or sleep, he thinks, again and again, as he sees, through windows, snatches of families arguing at tables, women tucking children into lumpy beds, boys spoonfeeding their nieces. Sometimes he sits on rooftops and curls up and imagines that the warmth from below is seeping into him.
It is no longer so cold that he cannot wash himself in a stream, and he does so, scrubbing his underarms and toes and the place between his legs. Flakes of dried blood drift into the water.
“You followed me here?”
The voice of the mountain, of the folds of the earth. Is he under a spell? He turns, expecting a mage, a witch, a lesser god.
Rex Lapis stands at the edge of the water, the ends of his robes wafting in the ripples.
“No.” He swallows. His throat hurts. “Searched.”
The slightest of tics on Rex Lapis’ marble face. “You searched…it has been months. No, a year.”
“This one - ” A string of coughs. He has not spoken in a long time. “This one wishes to serve you.” He cares not that he is unclothed, wet, with filth still half sticking to him. He gets the feeling that Rex Lapis does - he seems uncomfortable, in his darting eyes, in the minute shifts of his body.
Rex Lapis’ brow furrows, like he is in pain.
“Lord, this one can bring you qingxin for - ”
“Silence.”
He is silent.
Rex Lapis pinches the bridge of nose. “No, not like - please, it was not an order.”
“This foolish one does not understand.”
A pause. The water babbles a high sweet note. “How long would you search, if I turned you away again?”
“Until this one’s life ran out.” He is not made to sit there, unused, like a chunk of iron.
Did Rex Lapis always have those smudges of grey beneath his eyes? “You understand - I will never forgive myself for this.”
His heart thrums. Blood sings in his veins. He will have a new master. “My lord has nothing to forgive himself for.” He goes to Rex Lapis, kneels, only to have his shoulders held by large strong hands. Claws prick into his arm, but do not break the skin. “As your lord, this is your first command: Never kneel to me.” Rex Lapis does not wait for a response. “Put on your clothes, and follow me.”
He ends his day with a name. Xiao. Glistening sweetbitter. Smooth unsullied jade. His.
***
“Once the snow is thick enough, we can eat it.”
Rex Lapis stares at him.
“There was a village,” Xiao begins to explain. “In the mountains, where my previous master ruled. I saw the humans there eating snow.” He remembers it clear as day: A woman with a squirming, swaddled infant. A man with ice in his grey-flecked beard. The infant’s squalls had been lost in the wind.
Rex Lapis’ expression shutters. “There must have been a famine.”
Xiao’s gut twists.
He had liked it. It had crunched between his teeth, given him a headache that distracted him from the dream-eat desire. That desire had faded when the god of dreams died - but it never went away.
He still eats snow, sometimes, packs it tight in his fist, licks it like something sweet.
Rex Lapis says, “Perhaps you can be taught a few things about human societies. It will come in use on your patrols.”
“Yes, Master.” Guilt sickens Xiao. He hadn’t realised - he hadn’t known. He had thought they enjoyed it.
A hand rests on his shoulder, and he starts.
“You’re fine,” Rex Lapis says.
Xiao does not believe him.