this one goes out to all the haters
i have a few things to say, based on recent conversations i've had that have been a bit disconcerting to me. no one has *any* right to complain or backbite about me without reading this post.
first, i'm tired of people taking stuff i say out of context. i'm tired of people saying i said things that i didn't say, or not letting me explain why things are say are, in fact, not serious, and based on things i think are generally stupid.
for example, here is something i say that is clearly not serious:
someone: where is so and so?
me: i ate him/her.
i do not eat people. it is a silly thing i say. get over it, and we can all have a good laugh about it later.
example 2:
someone else: blah blah blah
me: shut up, you're ugly
i am aimi. i do not wear makeup or care about my clothes. why the fuck would i care enough about someone's ugliness to tell them about it, and hope that they feel bad? that is asinine. if i really meant it, i would probably keep it to myself. in fact, i do. there are much worse things i could say about people. i just generally stop thinking about them after about a second. these comments are meant to be absurd. they are meant to undermine what people think makes a legitimate person, because i think these things, such as looks, are superficial. if you can't understand that, you are probably not worth my time, and you shouldn't expect me to constantly compliment you or be your best friend, because i think friendship is earned and not something people should take for granted. anyone who knows anything about me knows that most of what i do is to provoke people, or get reactions from them, so i can guage what they believe. after that, most of what i do makes a mockery of the types of normalcy most people take for granted. i believe that the political is deeply rooted in interpersonal relations, and not just our relationship to the state. i believe that a lot of cultural things we take for granted, like the myth of beauty, are things that should be mocked and undermined. this is also why, for example, i call males "pretty" rather than "hot" or "handsome." it is also why i think things like cross-dressing are awesome.
second, i don't care who you are. you have no right to treat me like shit or silence my speech. i have every right to defend myself. if you dont want to hear it, too bad, you brought up the issue to begin with. trying to silence me will not solve the problem. it will only make you feel better about yourself, because you like to exert power over people and make them feel like shit. you know who you are. and, you probably make people feel a lot worse about themselves than i make you feel. so suck it up and deal with it. at least i'm not pulling a stephen renzi and demeaning the character of a student in public. i, at least, will explain myself, so you can understand why i do and say the things i do rather than assuming there is inherently something *wrong* with them.
third, everyone in the world was not created for the sole purpose of paying attention to you. and, most of them do not care to pay constant attention to you. deal with it. if you have something important to say, say it and defend it. if not, stop copping out and perhaps realize that the things you do hurt people in substantial ways. this means that they hurt people for reasons people actually get hurt, rather than hurting people because they are so self-conscious that they believe other people who jokingly make absurd comments like "you are stupid," or "you are ugly." i generally think people take these types of things too seriously. if someone were to, for example, tell me that i was "stupid," i wouldn't have a reason to get upset at them, because *i* do not think that i am stupid.
fourth, my personality only becomes unpleasant or forceful towards people that i think undermine greater things, things that are bigger than me, or them, and are worth standing up for. these things include the communicative ethics of the debate community and struggles against exclusionary systems. my framework of ethics is as follows: in the face of injustice, one only has an obligation to make the injustice known to the perpetrator. what people do in response is their own responsibility, because when they know that they are responsible for an injustice. likewise, if i am responsible for an injustice, calling me names does not remedy it, but bringing it to my attention probably will. this means not misconstruing what happened and spreading the story over aim to random people you don't like anyways. if you care enough about it, come talk to me about it. there are a lot of rumors circulating right now about things i didn't say. i don't think that's very cool. i also think that the content of these rumors is pretty uncool, given what i stand for.
this post isn't directed at anyone in particular. i'm just tired of a broad range of things. what you do is up to you. if you have problems with any of this, it is your responsibility to let me know, and to be adult about it. that's all.