(no subject)
Title: Love the way you lie
Author: Diedies_kamiuta
Pairing: Kisaki x Riku
Band: Phantasmagoria
Rating: PG-15 (Maybe? Dunno)
Warning: Male x Male relationships, angst.
Disclaimer: It’s a sad truth, I don’t own them. But it’s a happy truth, I own this fic.
Summary: Kisaki's take on things, a new way to look at things.
Kisaki’s Story
I’m just going to watch you lie. But that’s alright, because I love the way you lie.
This phrase is my motto. This phrase helps each day fade into the next. Every syllable that rolls off your tongue I have to come to accept as the truth. When I tell myself to believe your lies, you smile. You think you’re in control, finally you’ve stepped up. You think you clever; you think you are no longer at the end of the food chain.
I’m just going to lie to you, but that’s alright because I love the way you believe me.
Our life started the day I extended my hand to you, to invite you into our first band together, your face was so precious. I loved that any words could manipulate your personality. It gave me life; even the things I did to myself could easily affect you. Years later however, you think you’ve grown.
“Kisaki,” you said to me “I love you.” You were so sincere, you could not breathe. In private you told me this, no cameras, no fans, no friends. Just us at my home, you with your blonde hair in a messy pony tail, casual clothes…Pajamas in fact. It was not that you had been staying over; it was because you found courage so suddenly, that you had to act on it before it left. You found something you never had before. No longer were you playing games, using fans screams to encourage our interaction on stage.
Never once, had you directly stated to me, your feelings. It was always a game between us, something no one else understood. I had never actually denied you, you did that yourself. Who was it that said we could never be together? You Riku, it was always you, the ways you tortured yourself, were your own venomous words and creations.
Now for the first time, in a rush, you realized this and came to me confessing your feelings. I could see how you’d grown over the years. Once so modest and concerned with no one but yourself…So much you let yourself fade to the back. Now you became cocky, self praising. What could I say to you now? Now that you had found something that had developed into an ego, do I pierce it and diminish this personality?
Before my lips could part, to reply, the warm feeling of your lips were on mine. Your small body was in my lap, our chests touching, I could feel the friction of the fabric of our clothes rubbing against each other. My breath was taken away by you at that time, Riku.
You stole the words, which I never gave you. I think you have forgotten this, because of this…I only give you lies. You’re in control, you keep me locked away, and the placid feature of Kisaki remains for the world to see.
“I want your smiles to be only for me,” you said with your hand on my chin. Your brown eyes focused on mine. You’d gently move my red colored hair away from my sight, looking into what we portrayed as my honest to god answer, my eyes that were just for you. That’s what you said.
I’m sorry I’m making you lie. But I love the way…I love the way you lie to me.
Riku, darling, when you tell me to meet you somewhere, “Kisaki be home at six, exactly.” When you ask, “were you with him again?” Whenever you yell, “don’t fucking even think about loving someone else!” With those tears held back in your eyes. Even when you slapped me and pulled my hair…When you grabbed the side’s of my face, glaring and growling at me….that “you’re meant for me! Just, me.” You would say so forcefully ...
You had no idea, that I planted those seeds. Admittedly I was shocked when you struck me; the pupil always tries to surpass the master. But you are no pupil Riku, you’re a puppet. I let the obsession grow, and when you took me as yours, I wanted to fulfill your fantasies. It was not you sweeping me off my feet.
I love the way you lie to me Riku, I love the way you lie to yourself. I love watching you burn, the way you dig yourself a hole. You snap at people, you order them around, as if you’ve become a top dog. You almost destroyed your own life with this new reign of power. Everyone around you, you began to treat like dirt. After finding out, you could be in control. After all….Your boss, your lover, was Kisaki. If you could tell him what to do…Why couldn’t you boss around others?
There was a time, when they could no longer accept your savage ways. This being you had developed into due to my patronage. You yelled at them not to leave you, that you’d change, yet they turned a blind eye. They apologized and left you in the dark, you said it was alright. You still had Kisaki, you did not need anything else…I received such a brunt force of your anger, yet I came to save you. Once more like the dog you are, you ate greedily from my hand and took the position. Others were hesitant to step once more into your reign, but with me present they felt protection.
I remember how you laughed, they were stupid to think that you wouldn’t have a say. That only I would be in charge. It’s charming, the way you want to control people. How you can smile and manipulate those around you. It’s no wonder you’re a front man Riku.
This does not change, that you’re an idiot.
Just because you took my breath away that you once said we were perfect together. Does not mean we’ll be together forever. We fight, you scream, I protest…You again slap me. You threaten me with your voice, how you’ll leave our band if I ever left you.
I love the way you lie Riku, you have nothing, if you stopped your voice. You know I’d drop you, if the angel’s song stopped spilling from your lips…So you believe. You tell these things to yourself, to keep yourself signing. You perform for one person, me. You sing to let your voice reach my heart, to daily remind me what a pleasure it is to have you by my side.
But I don’t perform for you Riku, I perform for my dream. I cannot help that it is your dream to become my fantasy. I lie to you, when I say, I feel the same about you. I lie because you gain more power, you gain a presence like non-other when you feel you are in control.
Riku, if you ever try to leave me. I am going to tie you in my house, and burn all of your dreams. I will no longer wear this mask for you. I will not speak those sweet lies you love to hear. I will steal back my breath, and breathe to you the truth. I will stand here and watch you burn, as you accept the monster I’ve let you become. Until, your ego depresses and I take both reigns rather than sharing. I want you to know, you are not in control of me. I run your life, I run your life by letting you walk like a hot shot. If you believe you have confidence, I have done my job. Even if everything you have built yourself upon, is a lie.
You will not ever leave me Riku, because of the power I give you. The power of letting you lie to yourself.
I’m just going to stand here and watch you lie, but that’s alright…Because I love the way you lie.
And you love the way it hurts.
Diedie <3
Authors notes: ( this is a seperate entity from The Conviction)
6-23-10
Inspired by Eminem’s Love the way you lie. Written for my Urka. I know it’s not full blown fic-age. But, it’s something right? I hope it’s a new interesting take on things that everyone can enjoy.
Also to those of you following the conviction...I promise the next chapters are coming, and also a sequel. X3 So stay tuned. And don't forget comments make me feel giddy and honestly inspire me to write more things. If anyone is curious I do have other fics from other fandoms.
I also have Kisaki x Riku fanvideos
And I am also an avid Riku cosplayer. XD;;; I just don't know where to put all these things up. ;w;
ps- Don't forget I have no beta and for this I do apologize. Though the ones she has edited, honestly make me swoon. She knows my writting well enough to help me make it perfect. XD
PSS- Someone needs to teach me how to do all the neat linky things, how to make my name all link-a-fied, link to other chapters. XD if you know, message me. <3
Author: Diedies_kamiuta
Pairing: Kisaki x Riku
Band: Phantasmagoria
Rating: PG-15 (Maybe? Dunno)
Warning: Male x Male relationships, angst.
Disclaimer: It’s a sad truth, I don’t own them. But it’s a happy truth, I own this fic.
Summary: Kisaki's take on things, a new way to look at things.
Kisaki’s Story
I’m just going to watch you lie. But that’s alright, because I love the way you lie.
This phrase is my motto. This phrase helps each day fade into the next. Every syllable that rolls off your tongue I have to come to accept as the truth. When I tell myself to believe your lies, you smile. You think you’re in control, finally you’ve stepped up. You think you clever; you think you are no longer at the end of the food chain.
I’m just going to lie to you, but that’s alright because I love the way you believe me.
Our life started the day I extended my hand to you, to invite you into our first band together, your face was so precious. I loved that any words could manipulate your personality. It gave me life; even the things I did to myself could easily affect you. Years later however, you think you’ve grown.
“Kisaki,” you said to me “I love you.” You were so sincere, you could not breathe. In private you told me this, no cameras, no fans, no friends. Just us at my home, you with your blonde hair in a messy pony tail, casual clothes…Pajamas in fact. It was not that you had been staying over; it was because you found courage so suddenly, that you had to act on it before it left. You found something you never had before. No longer were you playing games, using fans screams to encourage our interaction on stage.
Never once, had you directly stated to me, your feelings. It was always a game between us, something no one else understood. I had never actually denied you, you did that yourself. Who was it that said we could never be together? You Riku, it was always you, the ways you tortured yourself, were your own venomous words and creations.
Now for the first time, in a rush, you realized this and came to me confessing your feelings. I could see how you’d grown over the years. Once so modest and concerned with no one but yourself…So much you let yourself fade to the back. Now you became cocky, self praising. What could I say to you now? Now that you had found something that had developed into an ego, do I pierce it and diminish this personality?
Before my lips could part, to reply, the warm feeling of your lips were on mine. Your small body was in my lap, our chests touching, I could feel the friction of the fabric of our clothes rubbing against each other. My breath was taken away by you at that time, Riku.
You stole the words, which I never gave you. I think you have forgotten this, because of this…I only give you lies. You’re in control, you keep me locked away, and the placid feature of Kisaki remains for the world to see.
“I want your smiles to be only for me,” you said with your hand on my chin. Your brown eyes focused on mine. You’d gently move my red colored hair away from my sight, looking into what we portrayed as my honest to god answer, my eyes that were just for you. That’s what you said.
I’m sorry I’m making you lie. But I love the way…I love the way you lie to me.
Riku, darling, when you tell me to meet you somewhere, “Kisaki be home at six, exactly.” When you ask, “were you with him again?” Whenever you yell, “don’t fucking even think about loving someone else!” With those tears held back in your eyes. Even when you slapped me and pulled my hair…When you grabbed the side’s of my face, glaring and growling at me….that “you’re meant for me! Just, me.” You would say so forcefully ...
You had no idea, that I planted those seeds. Admittedly I was shocked when you struck me; the pupil always tries to surpass the master. But you are no pupil Riku, you’re a puppet. I let the obsession grow, and when you took me as yours, I wanted to fulfill your fantasies. It was not you sweeping me off my feet.
I love the way you lie to me Riku, I love the way you lie to yourself. I love watching you burn, the way you dig yourself a hole. You snap at people, you order them around, as if you’ve become a top dog. You almost destroyed your own life with this new reign of power. Everyone around you, you began to treat like dirt. After finding out, you could be in control. After all….Your boss, your lover, was Kisaki. If you could tell him what to do…Why couldn’t you boss around others?
There was a time, when they could no longer accept your savage ways. This being you had developed into due to my patronage. You yelled at them not to leave you, that you’d change, yet they turned a blind eye. They apologized and left you in the dark, you said it was alright. You still had Kisaki, you did not need anything else…I received such a brunt force of your anger, yet I came to save you. Once more like the dog you are, you ate greedily from my hand and took the position. Others were hesitant to step once more into your reign, but with me present they felt protection.
I remember how you laughed, they were stupid to think that you wouldn’t have a say. That only I would be in charge. It’s charming, the way you want to control people. How you can smile and manipulate those around you. It’s no wonder you’re a front man Riku.
This does not change, that you’re an idiot.
Just because you took my breath away that you once said we were perfect together. Does not mean we’ll be together forever. We fight, you scream, I protest…You again slap me. You threaten me with your voice, how you’ll leave our band if I ever left you.
I love the way you lie Riku, you have nothing, if you stopped your voice. You know I’d drop you, if the angel’s song stopped spilling from your lips…So you believe. You tell these things to yourself, to keep yourself signing. You perform for one person, me. You sing to let your voice reach my heart, to daily remind me what a pleasure it is to have you by my side.
But I don’t perform for you Riku, I perform for my dream. I cannot help that it is your dream to become my fantasy. I lie to you, when I say, I feel the same about you. I lie because you gain more power, you gain a presence like non-other when you feel you are in control.
Riku, if you ever try to leave me. I am going to tie you in my house, and burn all of your dreams. I will no longer wear this mask for you. I will not speak those sweet lies you love to hear. I will steal back my breath, and breathe to you the truth. I will stand here and watch you burn, as you accept the monster I’ve let you become. Until, your ego depresses and I take both reigns rather than sharing. I want you to know, you are not in control of me. I run your life, I run your life by letting you walk like a hot shot. If you believe you have confidence, I have done my job. Even if everything you have built yourself upon, is a lie.
You will not ever leave me Riku, because of the power I give you. The power of letting you lie to yourself.
I’m just going to stand here and watch you lie, but that’s alright…Because I love the way you lie.
And you love the way it hurts.
Diedie <3
Authors notes: ( this is a seperate entity from The Conviction)
6-23-10
Inspired by Eminem’s Love the way you lie. Written for my Urka. I know it’s not full blown fic-age. But, it’s something right? I hope it’s a new interesting take on things that everyone can enjoy.
Also to those of you following the conviction...I promise the next chapters are coming, and also a sequel. X3 So stay tuned. And don't forget comments make me feel giddy and honestly inspire me to write more things. If anyone is curious I do have other fics from other fandoms.
I also have Kisaki x Riku fanvideos
And I am also an avid Riku cosplayer. XD;;; I just don't know where to put all these things up. ;w;
ps- Don't forget I have no beta and for this I do apologize. Though the ones she has edited, honestly make me swoon. She knows my writting well enough to help me make it perfect. XD
PSS- Someone needs to teach me how to do all the neat linky things, how to make my name all link-a-fied, link to other chapters. XD if you know, message me. <3