Dear god, I poisoned myself with cigarettes, yesterday. I've been having one after my AA meetings, and it started creeping up to smoking on the porch sometimes. I fucking love to smoke. And yesterday the dam broke and I smoked at least five. I hate breaking the smoking thing. God, it's unpleasant. And I'm not even fully addicted. Yet. But I feel
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Also -- Yesterday at the meeting Marc helped me set up and then went to smoke before the meeting and it sounded so heavenly after the weekend I had. It was all I could do not to join him. I feel you.
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