.
Confessions
A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction
By Maho-chan
AN (9/25/06): This AU story was inspired by a song I heard at a concert about a few months ago. As always, I hope you enjoy reading what I wrote. If you do please let me know:)
Disclaimer: Of course, I don’t own Hana Yori Dango.
Confessions
A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction
By Maho-chan
“I’m not listening. This isn’t happening.”
Tsukushi clamped her hands over her ears and closed her eyes, wishing to be anywhere but the darkness of her apartment.
When she had met Tsukasa for a snack after their university classes earlier that day, Tsukushi had had no idea that she would be receiving a passionate confession instead.
“Makino, I’m in love with you! You idiot! Come back here!” He had shouted as she had run away, her umbrella tumbling to the ground as she dropped it in shock and her feet splashing in the puddles as she had hastened down the sidewalk.
He loved her. She didn’t understand it. How? Why? The entire thing made no sense.
And what of her feelings?
She didn’t know what to think or how to feel about it. All she knew was the sense of impending doom and fear. He loved her. What could that possibly mean?
Surely it meant nothing, at least to her. They were too incompatible. He was rich, she was poor. He was tall, she was short. He was stupid and well, compared to him she was smart.
Tsukushi covered her face with her hands as the sound of a rock ricocheting off the glass came again. And now he was here, or rather outside her window, throwing rocks!
Was he insane? Normal people didn’t throw rocks at the homes of people they loved. They brought flowers and drank other drinks besides coffee. They said sweet things and wanted to please them, instead of arguing and making liberal use of the words “moron” and “idiot.”
Normal people also understood that when the person they wanted to date ran away, that meant that there was very little chance for success.
He was definetely insane and there was no way, no way she could go out with someone who was crazy. So what if she thought about him every day? Who cared if he filled her dreams at night? It didn’t matter that her heart beat faster when he was near.
Another rock clinked against the pane and Tsukushi leaned against the bed and buried her face in her arms.
She couldn’t go out there, why couldn’t he just take the hint and leave?
Crouching there, Tsukushi willed Tsukasa to leave her alone.
“Give up on me, go away.” She chanted as rock after rock assailed her window. “We’ll never be able to be together.” She whispered as she heard the distant rumbling of thunder. “Even if I did love you, there is too much at stake.”
There was the sound of glass breaking as a particularly large rock shattered the pane. Tsukushi stood, feeling shocked. He had broken her window!
Enough was enough; she had to make him understand!
Lightning lit the sky as the wind picked up. She could hear the sound of raindrops hitting the roof above her; what was left of the windowpane was covered with tiny waterdrops. The deluge of rocks had finally stopped and all was quiet except for the pounding of her heart, the falling rain and the thunder that rumbled in the heavens. Moving towards the window while avoiding the glass that littered the floor, Tsukushi leaned over the sill and looked out.
Tsukasa stood in the parking lot below her window pane, the rain soaking into his clothes, his hair straight and dripping wet. His hand fisted around a rock as he gazed up at her, his mouth set into a determined frown.
They stared at each other for a moment, as the lightning lit the sky and the thunder boomed. Tsukushi gazed upon him in horror. What was he trying to prove by standing there? It was raining! Did he have a death wish? Sure he was a strong person, but even he could get sick from the cold.
“What are you doing down there you idiot?” Tsukushi yelled, gesturing frantically. “Go home already! It’s raining! You are hungry because it’s dinnertime, aren’t you? So go home and eat already.” As a bit of broken glass fell from the window pane, Tsukushi shouted “Also, you threw rocks and broke my window! I’m really mad at you now. So just go home!”
Tsukasa glowered at her and shouted in reply “Makino! What the hell are you doing? Come down here and talk to me.”
Tsukushi crouched down by the window, unsure of what to do next. Why was he always so persistent? Taking deep breaths and counting to ten, Tsukushi willed herself to calm down a little.
It would be fine. Everything would be fine.
Gathering her courage, Tsukushi peeked over the window sill again. As Tsukasa yelled her name, the lightning streaked the sky and she could see his expression clearly. He was irritated as evidenced by his narrowed eyes and reproachful glare. But as she stared at him, Tsukushi sensed yearning in his gaze. Tsukushi desperately tried to ignore the twinge of longing that arose.
Turning from the window, Tsukushi made up her mind. No matter what she would convince him that this whole business of being in love with her had to end. She’d convince him, he’d go home and she would board up her window and make some dinner. Maybe she’d fall asleep in front of the television, after taking a nice long bath.
After this, she definitely wouldn’t call him later to see if he understood that assignment he was having so much trouble with. Nor would she make sure to wish him goodnight like she always did. She’d take a little break from everything, for at least a few days, with the hope that he would cool off and let it go. And after a while, they’d go back to normal. Nodding to herself, Tsukushi clenched her fists and determinedly made her way out of her apartment and down the stairs to the parking lot.
She’d convince him that they were just friends. They were happy as friends. Why couldn’t they stay that way?
Why did he have to change everything by confessing?
Didn’t he like things the way they were, going out to coffee after classes, and bumping into each other in the most unlikely places? Weren’t the phone calls enough? She even text messaged him, although his replies were always atrociously spelled.
There was no need to change anything.
As she drew near to him, she noticed the rain had become a light drizzle, the thunder and lightning having ceased for the moment. Tsukushi moved forward with heavy steps, resisting the urge to turn and run in the opposite direction.
Facing Tsukasa now, Tsukushi clenched her fists, resolutely ignoring the pain in her heart at the sight of his unhappy face. She had to do this for both their sakes. What he was proposing could never make either of them happy.
Never.
“Domyoji, I told you to GO HOME!” Tsukushi cried. When he didn’t immediately react she started to shout “You broke my window and now you won’t leave me alone! I thought we were just good friends and now you said this stupid, stupid thing. You love me? What a laugh! You don’t love me. You can’t love me. I can’t love you! Now leave me alone and go home!” Tsukushi’s eyes filled with tears as she pushed on his chest and tried to get him to move. Tsukasa simply stared down at her, his face expressing irritation and pain.
“Makino.” Tsukasa said quietly as he caught her hands in his. “I can’t leave you alone. Why can’t we be together?”
“We are just friends.” Tsukushi argued, breaking free from his grasp “We aren’t compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s why!”
Tsukasa gave her a serious look. “Where were you yesterday?”
“What?” Tsukushi said “I-I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“Just answer me. Where were you yesterday?” Tsukasa asked grimly.
“Do you have memory loss? I was at the department store with you. We went to lunch and you drank coffee and got mad at the waiter for smiling at me too much.”
“How about the day before that?” Tsukasa asked, staring at her intently.
Tsukushi replied “I was at your house. Listen if this is about me accidentally falling asleep on your living room couch, well it won’t happen again! I haven’t been sleeping much lately and your couch was really soft.”
“I don’t care about that.” Tsukasa said gruffly. “Where were you last Saturday?”
“Domyoji, what are you getting at?” Tsukushi asked, beginning to feel annoyed.
“Just answer the question!” Tsukasa said irritably. After taking a deep breath he repeated in a calmer voice “Just answer it.”
“I was with you at the movie theater. You took me to see that movie I wanted to see.” Tsukushi said in a small voice, beginning to get his drift.
Starting to panic, Tsukushi realized she had to stop him before he confessed to her again.
It didn’t matter what was being said now or what they had done in the past. This whole conversation was pointless since she knew how things had to be!
“You were with me all those times.” Tsukasa said quietly. “Listen, Makino…”
“Domyoji.” Tsukushi replied, cutting him off. “That’s enough. I forgive you about the window. Let’s just say goodnight and forget this ever happened. I’ll see you tomorrow in class. Maybe later this week we can try that new coffee shop around the corner from your house, the one I was telling you about. You’ll like the coffee there; they have lots of different kinds. Okay, so I’ll see you later!” Turning to go, Tsukushi was stopped by his hand on her arm.
He pulled her so that she was facing him. “You idiot, what is stopping you?”
“Nothing is stopping me! There is nothing to consider! I told you already.”
“Tell me again.”
“I can’t be with you. And even if I could, it wouldn’t work!”
“Why not?”
“Because we are too different. You are too tall. We fight too much. And I think you are crazy. I-I don’t date crazy guys!” Tsukushi stammered.
Tsukasa growled “So this is about your preferred motions.”
“What!” Tsukushi stared at him, her face turning red. Preferred motions? Mental images of Tsukasa holding her in a passionate embrace and asking her what she liked in his deep voice arose, unbidden. Tsukushi gaped at him in horror. “Y-you!” She stuttered, feeling suddenly overheated.
“Why are you making that strange face? Are you thinking something weird?” Tsukasa asked, peering at her face. Tsukushi blanched and leaned away.
“No! I just don’t understand what you mean by ‘preferred motions’!” Tsukushi cried. “Stop standing so close!”
“You know what I mean!” Tsukasa said agitatedly.
“No I don’t.” Tsukushi replied, confused.
“You think that a love relationship should be a certain way and so now you are saying you don’t love me because we don’t act the way you think we should. Preferred motions!” Tsukasa explained, holding her shoulders.
“Preferred motions? Preferred… Preconceived notions? Is that what you mean?” Tsukushi asked, feeling embarrassed about her earlier imaginings.
“Whatever. Makino, stop being stupid. You know you…”
Tsukasa paused as Tsukushi frantically pushed on his chest “Stop it already! Just go!” Tsukushi ordered, her voice rising hysterically.
He was still trying to convince her. Why was he being so stubborn? She had explained her reasoning to him. It made sense.
Perfect sense!
Tsukasa opened his mouth to speak, seemed to think better of it, and instead brought his hand up to cup her cheek. As he leaned his face towards hers, Tsukushi bit back an irritated shriek. Didn’t he get it? What did she have to do to make him understand?
Raising her fists. Tsukushi pushed his hands away and beat on Tsukasa’s chest. “Just leave already! You are soaking wet and I don’t want to have anything to do with you.” She pummeled him with her fists, her tears overflowing as Tsukasa wrapped his arms around her waist instead of stopping her. “Go home, go home, GO HOME! Stop standing here.” Tsukushi sobbed, hating how he let her hurt him over and over again.
His silence now was worse than any words he could have said, his hands rubbing her back feeling both comforting and reproachful at the same time. He was looking at her in an almost affectionate way, his expression softening at the sight of her crying. Wiping away her tears with his fingers, Tsukasa sighed as Tsukushi batted his fingers away.
“Shh.” Tsukasa said quietly as he pulled Tsukushi closer to him. He gathered her close, and leaned his chin against the top of her head. Tsukushi tried to push him away, but ended up with her fists balled against his chest. As he pressed a kiss against her hair, Tsukushi cried harder at his gentleness. Feeling horrible and like the worst kind of woman, Tsukushi finally stopped and leaned her forehead against his shoulder.
“Domyoji.” Tsukushi sobbed. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” Tsukasa said honestly. Tsukushi clutched the material of his jacket and cried.
He really was the most infuriating man. All of this rock throwing, drenched in the rain insanity, and he didn’t know?
Raising her head, as her tears streamed down her face, Tsukushi said in a wavering voice “If you don’t know then stop it now!”
Grimly Tsukasa replied “Moron, I can’t stop it. I am in love with you.” before kissing her deeply. Tsukushi tried to pull back, only giving into the kiss when Tsukasa moaned agitatedly. Something about that sound, the sound of him needing her called out to her own suppressed desire for him.
Their kiss was better than the ones in her dreams at night and better than the ones in her guilty daydreams at school. Better than how her best friend Yuki had described passionate kisses to be and much better than Tsukushi had ever thought a first kiss with someone ever could be.
Somehow the sensation of his lips on hers completed something, made something whole.
The kiss deepened further and Tsukushi whimpered.
As Tsukasa pulled away from her and affectionately kissed her nose, Tsukushi was overwhelmed and felt hysterical sobs threatening again.
“I’m not going to say it, I’m not going to say it!” She chanted in her mind as Tsukasa kissed her temple and drew her close.
“I’m not going to say it!” She said out loud to him as he gently combed his fingers through her hair.
“That’s fine, you silly woman. Now kiss me some more.” Tsukasa said, smiling slightly before pressing his lips to hers again. Tsukushi sniffled as she kissed him back. Tsukasa guided her arms around his neck and this time, Tsukushi didn’t protest.
As that wonderful, complete feeling overcame her, Tsukushi realized two things.
She was in love with him.
And the worst, most irritating and infuriating thing was...
He already knew.
A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction
By Maho-chan
AN (9/25/06): This AU story was inspired by a song I heard at a concert about a few months ago. As always, I hope you enjoy reading what I wrote. If you do please let me know:)
Disclaimer: Of course, I don’t own Hana Yori Dango.
Confessions
A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction
By Maho-chan
“I’m not listening. This isn’t happening.”
Tsukushi clamped her hands over her ears and closed her eyes, wishing to be anywhere but the darkness of her apartment.
When she had met Tsukasa for a snack after their university classes earlier that day, Tsukushi had had no idea that she would be receiving a passionate confession instead.
“Makino, I’m in love with you! You idiot! Come back here!” He had shouted as she had run away, her umbrella tumbling to the ground as she dropped it in shock and her feet splashing in the puddles as she had hastened down the sidewalk.
He loved her. She didn’t understand it. How? Why? The entire thing made no sense.
And what of her feelings?
She didn’t know what to think or how to feel about it. All she knew was the sense of impending doom and fear. He loved her. What could that possibly mean?
Surely it meant nothing, at least to her. They were too incompatible. He was rich, she was poor. He was tall, she was short. He was stupid and well, compared to him she was smart.
Tsukushi covered her face with her hands as the sound of a rock ricocheting off the glass came again. And now he was here, or rather outside her window, throwing rocks!
Was he insane? Normal people didn’t throw rocks at the homes of people they loved. They brought flowers and drank other drinks besides coffee. They said sweet things and wanted to please them, instead of arguing and making liberal use of the words “moron” and “idiot.”
Normal people also understood that when the person they wanted to date ran away, that meant that there was very little chance for success.
He was definetely insane and there was no way, no way she could go out with someone who was crazy. So what if she thought about him every day? Who cared if he filled her dreams at night? It didn’t matter that her heart beat faster when he was near.
Another rock clinked against the pane and Tsukushi leaned against the bed and buried her face in her arms.
She couldn’t go out there, why couldn’t he just take the hint and leave?
Crouching there, Tsukushi willed Tsukasa to leave her alone.
“Give up on me, go away.” She chanted as rock after rock assailed her window. “We’ll never be able to be together.” She whispered as she heard the distant rumbling of thunder. “Even if I did love you, there is too much at stake.”
There was the sound of glass breaking as a particularly large rock shattered the pane. Tsukushi stood, feeling shocked. He had broken her window!
Enough was enough; she had to make him understand!
Lightning lit the sky as the wind picked up. She could hear the sound of raindrops hitting the roof above her; what was left of the windowpane was covered with tiny waterdrops. The deluge of rocks had finally stopped and all was quiet except for the pounding of her heart, the falling rain and the thunder that rumbled in the heavens. Moving towards the window while avoiding the glass that littered the floor, Tsukushi leaned over the sill and looked out.
Tsukasa stood in the parking lot below her window pane, the rain soaking into his clothes, his hair straight and dripping wet. His hand fisted around a rock as he gazed up at her, his mouth set into a determined frown.
They stared at each other for a moment, as the lightning lit the sky and the thunder boomed. Tsukushi gazed upon him in horror. What was he trying to prove by standing there? It was raining! Did he have a death wish? Sure he was a strong person, but even he could get sick from the cold.
“What are you doing down there you idiot?” Tsukushi yelled, gesturing frantically. “Go home already! It’s raining! You are hungry because it’s dinnertime, aren’t you? So go home and eat already.” As a bit of broken glass fell from the window pane, Tsukushi shouted “Also, you threw rocks and broke my window! I’m really mad at you now. So just go home!”
Tsukasa glowered at her and shouted in reply “Makino! What the hell are you doing? Come down here and talk to me.”
Tsukushi crouched down by the window, unsure of what to do next. Why was he always so persistent? Taking deep breaths and counting to ten, Tsukushi willed herself to calm down a little.
It would be fine. Everything would be fine.
Gathering her courage, Tsukushi peeked over the window sill again. As Tsukasa yelled her name, the lightning streaked the sky and she could see his expression clearly. He was irritated as evidenced by his narrowed eyes and reproachful glare. But as she stared at him, Tsukushi sensed yearning in his gaze. Tsukushi desperately tried to ignore the twinge of longing that arose.
Turning from the window, Tsukushi made up her mind. No matter what she would convince him that this whole business of being in love with her had to end. She’d convince him, he’d go home and she would board up her window and make some dinner. Maybe she’d fall asleep in front of the television, after taking a nice long bath.
After this, she definitely wouldn’t call him later to see if he understood that assignment he was having so much trouble with. Nor would she make sure to wish him goodnight like she always did. She’d take a little break from everything, for at least a few days, with the hope that he would cool off and let it go. And after a while, they’d go back to normal. Nodding to herself, Tsukushi clenched her fists and determinedly made her way out of her apartment and down the stairs to the parking lot.
She’d convince him that they were just friends. They were happy as friends. Why couldn’t they stay that way?
Why did he have to change everything by confessing?
Didn’t he like things the way they were, going out to coffee after classes, and bumping into each other in the most unlikely places? Weren’t the phone calls enough? She even text messaged him, although his replies were always atrociously spelled.
There was no need to change anything.
As she drew near to him, she noticed the rain had become a light drizzle, the thunder and lightning having ceased for the moment. Tsukushi moved forward with heavy steps, resisting the urge to turn and run in the opposite direction.
Facing Tsukasa now, Tsukushi clenched her fists, resolutely ignoring the pain in her heart at the sight of his unhappy face. She had to do this for both their sakes. What he was proposing could never make either of them happy.
Never.
“Domyoji, I told you to GO HOME!” Tsukushi cried. When he didn’t immediately react she started to shout “You broke my window and now you won’t leave me alone! I thought we were just good friends and now you said this stupid, stupid thing. You love me? What a laugh! You don’t love me. You can’t love me. I can’t love you! Now leave me alone and go home!” Tsukushi’s eyes filled with tears as she pushed on his chest and tried to get him to move. Tsukasa simply stared down at her, his face expressing irritation and pain.
“Makino.” Tsukasa said quietly as he caught her hands in his. “I can’t leave you alone. Why can’t we be together?”
“We are just friends.” Tsukushi argued, breaking free from his grasp “We aren’t compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s why!”
Tsukasa gave her a serious look. “Where were you yesterday?”
“What?” Tsukushi said “I-I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“Just answer me. Where were you yesterday?” Tsukasa asked grimly.
“Do you have memory loss? I was at the department store with you. We went to lunch and you drank coffee and got mad at the waiter for smiling at me too much.”
“How about the day before that?” Tsukasa asked, staring at her intently.
Tsukushi replied “I was at your house. Listen if this is about me accidentally falling asleep on your living room couch, well it won’t happen again! I haven’t been sleeping much lately and your couch was really soft.”
“I don’t care about that.” Tsukasa said gruffly. “Where were you last Saturday?”
“Domyoji, what are you getting at?” Tsukushi asked, beginning to feel annoyed.
“Just answer the question!” Tsukasa said irritably. After taking a deep breath he repeated in a calmer voice “Just answer it.”
“I was with you at the movie theater. You took me to see that movie I wanted to see.” Tsukushi said in a small voice, beginning to get his drift.
Starting to panic, Tsukushi realized she had to stop him before he confessed to her again.
It didn’t matter what was being said now or what they had done in the past. This whole conversation was pointless since she knew how things had to be!
“You were with me all those times.” Tsukasa said quietly. “Listen, Makino…”
“Domyoji.” Tsukushi replied, cutting him off. “That’s enough. I forgive you about the window. Let’s just say goodnight and forget this ever happened. I’ll see you tomorrow in class. Maybe later this week we can try that new coffee shop around the corner from your house, the one I was telling you about. You’ll like the coffee there; they have lots of different kinds. Okay, so I’ll see you later!” Turning to go, Tsukushi was stopped by his hand on her arm.
He pulled her so that she was facing him. “You idiot, what is stopping you?”
“Nothing is stopping me! There is nothing to consider! I told you already.”
“Tell me again.”
“I can’t be with you. And even if I could, it wouldn’t work!”
“Why not?”
“Because we are too different. You are too tall. We fight too much. And I think you are crazy. I-I don’t date crazy guys!” Tsukushi stammered.
Tsukasa growled “So this is about your preferred motions.”
“What!” Tsukushi stared at him, her face turning red. Preferred motions? Mental images of Tsukasa holding her in a passionate embrace and asking her what she liked in his deep voice arose, unbidden. Tsukushi gaped at him in horror. “Y-you!” She stuttered, feeling suddenly overheated.
“Why are you making that strange face? Are you thinking something weird?” Tsukasa asked, peering at her face. Tsukushi blanched and leaned away.
“No! I just don’t understand what you mean by ‘preferred motions’!” Tsukushi cried. “Stop standing so close!”
“You know what I mean!” Tsukasa said agitatedly.
“No I don’t.” Tsukushi replied, confused.
“You think that a love relationship should be a certain way and so now you are saying you don’t love me because we don’t act the way you think we should. Preferred motions!” Tsukasa explained, holding her shoulders.
“Preferred motions? Preferred… Preconceived notions? Is that what you mean?” Tsukushi asked, feeling embarrassed about her earlier imaginings.
“Whatever. Makino, stop being stupid. You know you…”
Tsukasa paused as Tsukushi frantically pushed on his chest “Stop it already! Just go!” Tsukushi ordered, her voice rising hysterically.
He was still trying to convince her. Why was he being so stubborn? She had explained her reasoning to him. It made sense.
Perfect sense!
Tsukasa opened his mouth to speak, seemed to think better of it, and instead brought his hand up to cup her cheek. As he leaned his face towards hers, Tsukushi bit back an irritated shriek. Didn’t he get it? What did she have to do to make him understand?
Raising her fists. Tsukushi pushed his hands away and beat on Tsukasa’s chest. “Just leave already! You are soaking wet and I don’t want to have anything to do with you.” She pummeled him with her fists, her tears overflowing as Tsukasa wrapped his arms around her waist instead of stopping her. “Go home, go home, GO HOME! Stop standing here.” Tsukushi sobbed, hating how he let her hurt him over and over again.
His silence now was worse than any words he could have said, his hands rubbing her back feeling both comforting and reproachful at the same time. He was looking at her in an almost affectionate way, his expression softening at the sight of her crying. Wiping away her tears with his fingers, Tsukasa sighed as Tsukushi batted his fingers away.
“Shh.” Tsukasa said quietly as he pulled Tsukushi closer to him. He gathered her close, and leaned his chin against the top of her head. Tsukushi tried to push him away, but ended up with her fists balled against his chest. As he pressed a kiss against her hair, Tsukushi cried harder at his gentleness. Feeling horrible and like the worst kind of woman, Tsukushi finally stopped and leaned her forehead against his shoulder.
“Domyoji.” Tsukushi sobbed. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” Tsukasa said honestly. Tsukushi clutched the material of his jacket and cried.
He really was the most infuriating man. All of this rock throwing, drenched in the rain insanity, and he didn’t know?
Raising her head, as her tears streamed down her face, Tsukushi said in a wavering voice “If you don’t know then stop it now!”
Grimly Tsukasa replied “Moron, I can’t stop it. I am in love with you.” before kissing her deeply. Tsukushi tried to pull back, only giving into the kiss when Tsukasa moaned agitatedly. Something about that sound, the sound of him needing her called out to her own suppressed desire for him.
Their kiss was better than the ones in her dreams at night and better than the ones in her guilty daydreams at school. Better than how her best friend Yuki had described passionate kisses to be and much better than Tsukushi had ever thought a first kiss with someone ever could be.
Somehow the sensation of his lips on hers completed something, made something whole.
The kiss deepened further and Tsukushi whimpered.
As Tsukasa pulled away from her and affectionately kissed her nose, Tsukushi was overwhelmed and felt hysterical sobs threatening again.
“I’m not going to say it, I’m not going to say it!” She chanted in her mind as Tsukasa kissed her temple and drew her close.
“I’m not going to say it!” She said out loud to him as he gently combed his fingers through her hair.
“That’s fine, you silly woman. Now kiss me some more.” Tsukasa said, smiling slightly before pressing his lips to hers again. Tsukushi sniffled as she kissed him back. Tsukasa guided her arms around his neck and this time, Tsukushi didn’t protest.
As that wonderful, complete feeling overcame her, Tsukushi realized two things.
She was in love with him.
And the worst, most irritating and infuriating thing was...
He already knew.