????

[maiden_mist]

I really am annoyed about something. My mother keeps advising me that it would be wiser to be a little more silent, when I meet a guy, to just look at him, study him and see if  he's the one interested to talk to me. Hell, what's this? Love at first sight? Jesus, I can't just say "Oh, hy, I'm Ruxandra, nice to meet you" and then shut up like a dumb

Comments

[weirdsister_fis]

There's something to be said about either of those approaches. It's nice that you like to talk to guys, and i don't think you should be silent and wait for him to talk, it's the 21th century after all

[maiden_mist]

Thanks. :D Sure, I never did smth like saying something and then not stop talking. But generally I'm a friendly person, like...talk about anything. But not too much. I hate talking too much, as a matter of fact. xD
Of course you could ask Hugo. :D
Still, it's not quite clear what you meant with "My boyfriend thought i was the most interesting thing, because i did talk to him, but never said everything." Depends on what you were saying, i guess...on the subject, I suppose...

[liadine]

As an owner of a brother 11 years older than me, who (as he said himself) betrayer of his kind... and out of my own experience... your mum is right. So is Weird Sister. :)
Of course basic questions to keep up a conversation are required, but showing yourself within first 30 minutes of conversation isn't gonna work generally. "Maybe" is often a good answer. ;) And you just should let them talk, men need to show off, string muscles, pose for an intellectualist and a romantic and all the superheros they've heard of. ;) You should let them, mildly enthusiastic. Being cold never works, but being over the moon with every blink he does will scare a guy as well.

[maiden_mist]

So then, what do I have to do? I dunno, it seems to me like a lesson that I should learn, like some things that i should do without knowing how to do them...I'm lost. :\

[liadine]

I don't know if you're doing exactly as you wrote, but for example instead of asking "You like a band called Nightwish?" ask "and you have any particular interests?" and let him talk. When he asks you back don't say "My favorite band's Nightwish, besides I like playing tennis and I simply adore Roger", but be mysterious - in this sense - "well, music is my passion", enough talk, smile to him, make him feel he has a control over the situation, let him ask further.
It's a silly example, I know, frankly - this isn't something you can learn like at school. It comes with experiments, constant trying out new technics and generally with the awareness of what particularly turns them in and on. Seducing is a game, more or less, but it's always a game. ;)

[maiden_mist]

Hm...I get it what you mean. I never went that silly, like saying "oh and I like that and that and that as well", but I haven't either found that middle way, using words such as "music is my passion as well". Hmm...I just talked normally, in that way that doesn't raise the interest of a guy, that doesn't make him think "hmm...what a misterious voice she has" or smth like that...yes, that's it!!! *feels enlightened* :))

[suomigoth]

I'm sorry to tell you this, but your mom (and WS and Liadine) are right about this. From the way I have heard you talk about meetings with guys before and the way you acted at such moments, I can tell that in continuing being just like that will have you hear the sentences: 'I like you but just as a friend' and 'you're like a sister to me!' very much in the future. It is good to be friendly, but you can be too friendly

[maiden_mist]

Oh my dear. :)) I surely will try, once I get rid of the exams and such. But I dunno, I'm afraid to fail...even though, you can't succeed unless you don't try...