I will go see more live Shakespeare, EVEN THOUGH Americans have a strong tendency toward inane babbling.

Also, I will never let another Times Saturday puzzle go uncompleted.

Also, I will clean my effing room.

Finally, in general, less swearing.

Here is a classic example of why I love the Times Magazine's letters page:

"I am half-SY and half-Ashkenazi, like Jerry Seinfeld, who is a third cousin," begins Glen B. Gechlik, M.D., of Brooklyn. And what, pray tell, does Mr. Seinfeld have to do with the content of Dr. Gechlik's letter?

Sweet. Fuck. All.Oh, and keep an eye peeled next week in ( Read more... )

...that I am a total fucking loser. I left work on time on a Friday evening, came home, cooked dinner, painted my toenails, and watched garbage television until 10:30 at night.

And for your information, The Next Great American Band was pretty gosh darn entertaining.

In other news, I should blog more. It might compel me to do things worth writing

But then things like this happen:

Downtown C train, 5 pm, Saturday. S and I are each carrying two small wooden chairs. We are discussing depression and the power of positive thinking. (I know. We are a little bit gay.) What follows is liberally paraphrased, except for the last lines.
***
S: It's like falling off the horse. You can get back on again, ( Read more... )

Why? Well, in the span of ninety minutes, I saw a show called Trick My Truck, in which an ice cream truck was pimped to the max by a crew of rednecks with black metal facial hair, a half hour of Country Fried Home Videos, which was funnier than the other famous show its concept is based upon AND featured an asshole who has a pet cougar AS WELL AS a ( Read more... )

And here, in a nutshell, is why:

Monday's Scary Go Round

Attention, world: I have developed the ultimate chocolate chip cookie, and this is one recipe I will not be giving out. But I'll take orders.

Using public transportation in the New York area is probably at once the bane of my existence and one of my main forms of cheap entertainment, and the latter makes a compelling case for never leaving this place ever. Today's adventure on the LIRR reminded me, too, that when the twain meet, it's pure comedy gold ( Read more... )

Dear Diary ( Read more... )

Attention, good Christian parents: I AM the godless, Christ-hating Jew you warned your children about. As for the rest of you, let what follows be a cautionary tale on the growing difficulty of positively identifying Young Republicans. This is my story.

I was standing on the platform at Hoyt-Schermerhorn* this evening, waiting for a Queens-bound G ( Read more... )