So how do you mourn...

[maika_75]

when the person who you're grieving for is someone for whom you've never had a chance to be truly close to due to a combination of geography and family dramas - which were quite probably the bigger obstacle

Comments

[squeezles]

Hey, I'm sorry. When my grandfather died I think I mourned more at the notion that now I definately wouldn't know him then for the loss of him (since I didn't really have much of a connection with him - I was young and he had dementia and no one really explained what that meant - that him not remembering our names or birthday wasn't that he didn't care, he just wasn't able to remember. It's still one of my biggest regrets).

[maika_75]

I guess dementia was the thing we managed to avoid...at least with this grandmother, she was sharp as a tack right up until she went...but I do think my other grandmother who is the same age (92) but in her case, the being very young thing isn't really an issue, given that I'm 35, and Maia is 15, so there's been time to nurture a relationship. So at this point, she still knows exactly who we all are - but she tends to "lose" us, I noticed at Christmas that if people moved around the room that worried her, and really the fact that she could forget details within about 10 seconds of her asking about something was worrying me...but in the end. I'm rambling again.

Thank you for your perspective!

[sweeny_todd]

*big hugs*

I found that I needed a funeral to let go of the pent up emotion for my grandparents.

When my friend, Zellie, died from cancer last year, I was in tears for weeks. I had nothing I could *do*.

I ended up writing a letter and burning it, and thinking of her as it burnt. It helped me.

*bug big hugs*

[maika_75]

Thank you for the idea (and the hugs). At the moment it feels like nobody else wants to do any kind of memorial service, so I can either bully the rest of the family into something, or just go do something on my own.

Your letter idea sounds like something I would want to work into it.