Comments | mainegirlwrites: Challenge 15

mainegirlwrites

Challenge 15

Apr 05, 2012 19:50

Title: Moving Day
Prompt: "moving day"
Bonus?: No dialogue, but its a haiku, so I don't know if that counts...one prompt, 3 haikus
Word Count: 34
Rating: U
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): None
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/RPF etc): None
Summary: Its time to move on. Literally.

Moving Day

Sunbeams lay on them,
The boxes wait patiently,
Moving day is ( Read more... )

haiku, challenge 15, member: mainegirlwrites, challenge:writing, writerverse, team poetry

Comments 3

riverotter1951 April 6 2012, 01:21:51 UTC

Bravo

lady_invidia April 8 2012, 01:43:12 UTC

Lovely. Excellent word choice. I'm in awe of people who manage to paint such a vivid, moving, and magical picture with only a few words. Reminded me of the Nutcracker in that way. Have to say the middle haiku was my favourite; I'm loving the image of 'cardboard soldiers'.

Concrit: I think it would look better if you gave a line space between each haiku.

Review mainegirlwrites April 10 2012, 11:11:40 UTC

Thank you for your review to my haiku, "Moving Day". Your compliments made me blush! I agree with your concrit, the line spacing was off. I am still struggling with the HTML stuff! Thanks again, best to you, mainegirlwrites