we don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
don't say you understand when you don't.
girls are pretty, but yours is the prettiest ;)
you don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
if you talk about having a big dick; we know you probably don't.
size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.
a system in your car only impresses your homeboys, not us.
no matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
it's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
if you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
we are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
we are drama queens.
the fashion police do exist.
don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
we absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
we don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.
don't make bets about us; we always find out.
shave; no matter how cool you think your goatie or beard or moustache looks, we hate it.
don't compare our breasts with pamela anderson's; hers are fake, just remember that.
it is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
we will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.
you can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it?
girls are petty; get over it. we like to start fights.
you may think we don't know something, but WE DO!
DON'T CHEAT. it may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. trust me, we WILL find out and you will be shit.
beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.
never miss an opportunity to tell us we're beautiful.
if we slap you hard, you deserved it.
most of us don't mind paying half of everything, but we do discuss these things with our friends. realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy ..
every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend - a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. even if it's not a serious relationship.
if a guy is bothering us, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.
if you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
never, ever slap us, even if it's just in a joking way. even if she swats you first, and says, "oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
go to a chick flick once in a while. we don't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
you're dead meat if you can't get along with our pets, parents, and best friends. be prince charming to our friends, mr.polite to our parents, and make sure to be nice to our animals.
don't be freaked out by PMS. it's not gross, and it really does make us feel like shit, so be understanding.
if we're officially dating, and you're introducing us to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce us as your girlfriend.
don't stress where you go for every date. we really only want to be with you.
girls are fragile. even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
memorize our god damn birthdays. you forget our birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
don't give us something stupid for our birthday or christmas or valentine's day. it doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. jewelry is always nice.
after you've been dating for a while, realize that we really have started to trust you. when you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.
not all girls masturbate...we just don't and no we are not lying.
hold our hand.
anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.
if we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.
the excuse "i can't dance" is unacceptable .. we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.
on that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys .. and lots of them.
make fun of our clothes .. prepare to die.
if you're gonna look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you do it.
we reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.
don't always expect us to call you. the phone works both ways!
most girls aren't as self-confident as guys! we need to be complimented as often as possible!
birthdays, valentine's day, and anniversaries are important to us ... can't you remember three important dates out of the whole year!?
DO NOT act different or be a jerk around your friends .. it will get you in the end (we remember these types of things).
know the situations not to make stupid jokes! it only makes you look like more of an ass!
if we have a big game, meet, competition, or any kind of important event .. WE EXPECT YOU TO BE THERE! it's just a given.
don't say "i love you" if you don't mean it. we always mean it.
know our songs when they come on the radio.
surprises, especially gifts for us = more loving.
girls remember things for life and anything you did wrong will be used against you in the future.
when we say "i'm fine" after a few seconds, we usually aren't.
hold our hand in the movie theatre.
write letters/poems to us or make us cds.
give us space when we need it.
don't talk to us about other girls that you think are pretty or whatnot, we hate it.
be good to us.
don't try to make us jealous by inolving yourself with another girl in front of us.
when we're sad, be with us or stay on the phone with us, even if we're not saying anything.
let us take all the photos of you that we want.
when you're in love with us, tell us.
when we say we miss you, no one in this world can miss you more than we do.
most importantly: we are always right; so don't forget it.