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alot has happened in my life in the last couple of months and ive changed alot and made some rather stupid mistakes. having said that i also say that tommrow will decided the rest of my entire being. i am scared out of my mind. i sit here even now shaking uncontrollably. tommrow will leave me changed for the rest of my life. i sit here and beg for ( Read more... )

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screams.....throws things at the walls.......falls to the desk and cries......... well this is it it's over and i have to come to terms with it. ken wont talk to me. he wants the break. he doesnt want me to tell him i love him. lets face it it's been over to him for weeks i was just too blind to see it. should have known. damit i should have never ( Read more... )

sitting here thinking. as always. haven't slept much. ken's begining to give up on us. my parent think i'm making a really bad mistake. and i relises how much i regret the fact that john never returned my feelings. well not really i just miss him. i know he would know what to do here. i love him so much and now he's gone. i'm losing ken and it's ( Read more... )

Firsts ( Read more... )

i talked to ken tonight and owrked out some of the things that have been plauging us. yes we have decided to take some space, but i believe that it will help our relationship rather than hinder it. i dont appreciate that fact that others have said that ken should break up with me. i know you think that i'm snobby and stuck- up because i choose not ( Read more... )

the pain of last night has subsided some. at least for now. i'm dreading talking to ken. i still love him very much and i dont want to end our relationship that was never my intention i just cant deal. i feel like he only wants me around when his buddies dont have anything for him to do. i feel i'm a very understanding girlfriend, really, i ( Read more... )

ive had to come to the decision that i need space. which probably means i'll be single pretty soon because that always back fires on me ( Read more... )