so as today is the day i go set up insurance on my new car, it would be the day i would rearend someone. captain speed demon decided at the last minute that he would turn into grandpa sunday at the stop sign where mcormick and ft. caroline merge. he got out and said some words to me, rubbed his bumper, got back in his car and zipped away. i'm ( Read more... )

so my credit card will be completely paid off on the 18th, after two years of accumulating late fees and penalties. this will take away 360 of the 490 negative credit points on my report. i now feel i honestly have more initiative than brad pitt. what a loser.

no, my girlfriend is NOT still in high school.

"And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way"

- Toby Keith

that is not true, we'll tell you how cool the boot is, and then try and sell it to you. that is the american way.

i don't wrestle, i fucking beat bitches up.

( Read more... )

your cool u kick azz u rule

do u rule or do u suck?
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so i was talking to hellen keller the other day and she was like, "hey, you've got to check out this new book i just felt!"

smart girls have eating disorders.

my life is so much better now since i started forwarding emails.