Please Be Mine//Joick//NC-17
Title: Please Be Mine
Pairing: Joe/Nick
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3 125 Words
Warnings: Cursing, Incest, Underage Smoking? PWP Haha
Prompt: Part of it originally written for Joick Trick or Treat. The prompt was "Nick knows he's horrible at being romantic, so even though it's Joe he's trying to romance, he asks Joe for help." This is basically my attempt at PWP comment!fic, but it somehow got FEELINGS in it. Haha
Summary: The way that the moonlight is hitting the dips in Joe’s face make him look ethereal, like he’s just too good to be true, and Nick just lays there staring up at him, trying hard to commit this moment to memory, trying to take in how ravished Joe looks right now.
Genre: Romance, PWP (But it somehow has FEELINGS), Fluff?
Nick knows it’s kind of wrong. Okay, he knows it’s really wrong. That’s why he does so many charities. He figures that if he gets on God’s good side enough, then he’ll be able to at least make a few mistakes. Or, you know, commit one giant, Bible busting sin and knock it all out in one go. Because there’s this thing. Something that he’s kind of been struggling with for a while, but not something that will just go away.
Like, okay, so Nick hasn’t really admitted it to himself in so many words, but he’s been around the block enough times to know what it means when his skin kind of tingles after Joe’s fingers brush his arm. He gets the significance behind his crave for his brother’s touch, and it kind of plagued him pretty intensely for a while, turned him into an introverted, brooding artist type while he tried to figure out what level of fucked up you have to be at to want to…you know…bone your own brother. Not too eloquent, but whatever. It’s what he feels.
So after months and days and weeks of turning it all over in his mind and pulling himself to the brink of oh my God I'm going to Hell, Nick has accepted it as who he is. He’s fully aware that what he’s planning to do is probably unforgivable and damning, but the more he’s thought about it, the more he’s realized that he can’t picture himself living without Joe, can’t imagine being with anyone else ever.
But now Nick’s kind of at his last resort. He knows that he really has to make things perfect, really has to impress Joe to get him to want to even think about something of a relationship, but he’s too serious, too practical, too Nick to be romantic in the way that he wants to be. It’s just really frustrating. He can’t think of anything sweet and cute that isn’t just plain cheesy. He sighs, slumping back on his bed moodily, laptop open on his legs.
“You okay, dude?” Joe asks him from across the room, looking up from his iPod with an eyebrow raised.
“What do you do when you want to impress…a girl? How do you impress a girl?” Nick blurts, scrubbing a tired hand over his face and lying to make this go a little smoother.
“Nick,” his older brother replies, fixing him with a sarcastic stare, “girls aren’t really my type. You know that. We had this conversation like a year ago.”
“Okay, fine, then. Kev isn’t here for me to ask, so can you just help me out?” Nick replies, his tone a little clipped, because Joe’s missing the point.
“Hot date?” Joseph asks with a smirk on his face. He crawls on the bed and pulls Nick’s computer into his lap. “Oh, Nicky, come on. You can do better than Google. ‘Romantic date ideas?’ Really?”
“I don’t know,” Nick says, and he feels like this is all stupid, like it’ll be a wasted effort anyway. “Okay, how about this. Are you a…umm…you know…a uhh…”
“You mean am I a pitcher or a catcher?” Joe asks with a little half smile, and Nick’s cheeks flare red at that, because, yeah, that’s what he was asking, but come on. Who just says that to their little brother? Joe laughs at his embarrassment, but keeps talking through it. “I'm usually the girlier one, if I'm being honest. Sorry, man. I'm the one people try to impress.”
Okay. Helpful. Nick knows that. That’s why he’s trying to impress him. “Well then give me some ideas. What would you want a guy to do for you?” Nick asks as Joe sobers up and stops laughing at his expense.
“I don’t know, umm, have you thought about just telling this girl how you feel? I'm not really big on grand gestures myself. Personally, I think they're a little lame. If a guy was trying to impress me, I’d rather him just, like, pin me to the wall one day when I wasn’t expecting it. Really rough me up, you know?” Joe says, and he’s blushing a little.
“’Rough you up?’” Nick asks, shifting a little on the bed and trying to pretend like he isn’t listening intently to Joe’s suggestions, like he’s not committing them to memory. Nick had thought of, like, dinner on a boat on a lake or something like that, but, wow, it’s probably a good thing that he didn’t do that, judging by what Joe’s telling him now.
Joe scratches the back of his neck lightly, and Nick watches as his blush deepens, staining his cheeks a dark cherry red. “Yeah, I uhh…I usually like it pretty rough.”
“How rough is ‘pretty rough?’” Nick asks, and Christ, this isn’t how he thought this conversation would go at all.
In Joe’s eyes, Nick can see him fighting with himself, trying to decide his next move. After a few seconds, a few beats of silence, Joe clears his throat shakily and pulls down the collar of his V-Neck, revealing a spattering of dark purple bruises across his shoulder and the few inches of chest that are exposed. Nick swallows heavily, moving closer to Joe subconsciously.
“Wh-who gave you those?” he hears himself asking, eyes still focused on a particularly prominent mark, where Joe’s collar bone meets his neck.
“Umm…Garbo and I were kind of fooling around the other day. He isn’t as tough with me as I usually like, but uhh…I kind of just needed to get off,” Joe says, his tone measured, like he’s incredibly aware of the darkening of Nick’s eyes at those words.
Nick doesn’t want to feel the spike of jealousy at that, doesn’t mean to let his anger seep through into his body language, but it’s like Nick thought he knew Joe. And, okay, he mostly knows everything about Joe, but this? This, he never would have imagined. It’s like Joe’s got this whole other life that Nick just never knew about. Like, okay, it’s not normal to know the details of your older brother’s sex life, but since when has Nick been normal? He honestly never expected Joe to be so…
Nick moves closer, eyes flickering from Joe’s eyes to his lips, and they're so close now that he can practically feel it when Joe takes a shaky breath in. “Nicky?” he asks, biting his bottom lip lightly and searching Nick’s eyes.
And then Nick’s just on him. It’s just like something in him snaps, and he’s everywhere at once, lips crushing into Joe’s, shoving his brother’s light body back onto the bed and crawling over him to straddle his hips. He bites down hard on Joe’s collar bone, just latches on and digs in his teeth, and when Joe moans underneath him, it sounds dirty and wanton and fuck.
“Off. Take it off,” Nick mutters, yanking at the thin material of Joe’s T-Shirt impatiently, so hard that it almost rips under his fingers.
Joe practically tears the shirt from his body, and Nick sinks his teeth deep into a spot on Joe’s neck. And God, this is wild and animalistic and Nick feels like he’s on fire, like all the pent up energy that he usually keeps so tightly in check is just bursting out of him.
“Niiick,” Joe keens, high in his throat, blunt fingers scrabbling at the back of Nick’s dress shirt. “Ugh, fuck, Nick. What are you doing?”
But it doesn’t sound like a protest. Joe’s voice is breathy and husky and he looks completely wrecked when Nick pulls back to stare down at him.
“Joe - Joseph, you're mine. You hear me? Mine,” Nick pants, and God he doesn’t even know what he’s saying right now. It’s just like this crazy possessiveness that came over him, but he knows he doesn’t want to stop. Doesn’t ever want to have to stop.
“Ngh, yes. God yes,” Joe moans, and before Nick can even think about processing that, Joe’s pulling him down by the dogtags to press their foreheads together. “Nick, I want you to fuck me. Oh, please, Nick. God, say you will, okay?”
Nick blinks, because whoa. He doesn’t really know what to say to that. Of course he wants to. He’s wanted to for like a year. But he’s hovering over his older brother, who’s covered in bruises put there by one of his best friends, and, okay, it’s kind of hard to reconcile this pulled out, frantic, gorgeous mess of a boy with the guy who taught him to play the guitar when he was like nine years old. And besides, he never expected this to just be so easy. Joe’s just lying there, begging for it, pleading and offering Nick everything he’s got.
“You get that if I do this…if I do this, it’s forever, okay?” Nick asks quietly, because he just has to make sure they're clear on what this is. He has to make sure that Joe knows that this is a lot bigger than just needing to get off in a dressing room with Garbo.
Joe stares at him like he’s in a trance, like Nick’s the best thing he’s ever seen, and Nick watches his face break into a grin. “Nick, I know. That’s why I'm asking you for this. I want to give you forever.”
Nick bites his lips and stares into his brother’s eyes and makes the only decision he knows how to make anymore.
“Fuck,” he says on an exhale. “Fuck, you're amazing.”
And then it’s back on again, back like they never even stopped to talk. Nick kisses Joe deep like he’s wanted to for so long, their tongues grappling and teeth knocking together like they just can’t be close enough, like they can’t get enough of whatever the hell this heat is between them. Nick lets himself get lost in sensation, lets his body be taken over by it.
There’s a point somewhere in there, somewhere between Nick wondering to himself just how rough he can be and Joe growling at him to just do it already, that Joe kind of reaches up with his hand on Nick’s shoulder, pulls him down, and mutters out, “Nicky, for once I want it slow. Make it last. Show me how much you love me.” Nick’s thrusts smooth out, take on a new, lazy rhythm, and he kisses Joe, kisses him long and deep, and his body says everything his words couldn’t.
It’s around three in the morning when Nick finally slumps against the headboard with Joe tangled around him. He’s carding his fingers through Joe’s hair absentmindedly, thoughts a jumbled mess of oh my God that just happened and I don’t think I'm ever going to be able to move again. They’re both panting and exhausted and covered in a sheen of sweat, and when Nick ducks his head to look at his brother, Joe’s got this wide, goofy, blissed out smile on his face.
“I love you,” Nick mumbles through exhausted lips with a small, simple half smile.
Joe tilts his head up, and for a second, Nick is just kind of lost in his brother’s doe-eyed stare, but then their lips connect on a sigh, and Nick allows his eyes to drop closed, his tongue sliding against Joe’s in a smooth, sensual drag. When Joe starts to pull back, Nick follows, maneuvering his body back over his brother’s. When he feels Joe’s hand pushing gently at his chest, he untangles himself reluctantly.
“Nicky, I need a break,” Joe says, laughing lightly. “You gotta give me a chance to breathe. We’ve been going at it for like three hours.”
Nick flops back on the bed with a huff, slinging an arm over his face and trying to slow his breathing, because, yeah, it’s been kind of off and on all night, switching back and forth between wild and frantic to soft and gentle. They’ve hardly taken a break yet. Which is awesome, but, you know, kind of tiring.
When he opens his eyes again, Joe’s sitting up next to him with the sheet just barely covering his hips, and Nick slides a hand up the smooth contours of his back, pressing his fingers lightly into a new bruise that’s blossoming there. The way that the moonlight is hitting the dips in Joe’s face make him look ethereal, like he’s just too good to be true, and Nick just lays there staring up at him, trying hard to commit this moment to memory, trying to take in how ravished Joe looks right now. He’s beautiful, gorgeous, and Nick can’t believe he’s so lucky, can’t believe someone like him could be with someone like Joe.
“You're my girl, Joey,” Nick tells him, his hand falling to Joe’s lap, and Joe catches it and squeezes, lacing their fingers.
“You wanna come outside with me? Get some fresh air?” Joe asks softly, and Nick feels something curling in his stomach, something warm and comfortable and permanent.
“Yeah, you go ahead, though. I'm just gonna check my levels real quick. I'm right behind you,” he says, watching as Joe stands and plucks his boxers from where they're hanging on one of the lamp shades, pulling them on with a little laugh.
Nick drags himself out of bed with a groan, surprised at how shaky he is on his legs, and stumbles into the bathroom, flinching a little when he flips on the florescent light. He looks at himself in the mirror, just really kind of stands there and stares, because, well, he definitely looks the part of “I just had wild, crazy sex for a couple hours straight.” His hair is pulled out and mussed, his shoulders red from Joe’s fingers and teeth, his lips swollen and dark, and there’s a huge hickey forming at the base of his throat. He’s still stark naked as he pricks his finger and waits for the sample to beep.
Nick tosses his kit in the general direction of his suitcase after he leaves the bathroom and starts hunting around the room for his boxers. He finds them sitting on the desk across the room, and he hops from foot to foot as he tries to yank them up without falling over. God, his legs feel like jelly right now.
When he slips through the sliding glass door, Joe’s sitting at the little glass table with his feet propped up in the other chair, smoking a cigarette while he stares out at the city rushing by underneath them. Nick takes a few seconds to just watch him be, watch him living, before he slips into the other chair, placing Joe’s feet gently in his lap.
“Everything okay?” Joe asks softly, sliding the pack of Marlboros across the table to him.
“Yeah, it was fine. Came up at one-twelve. Can I use your lighter?” Nick asks around the filter in his mouth. He isn’t a huge smoker, but he knows that Joe has been for a few months. He stares at the smoke that curls around him as he tilts his head back to exhale. He takes a breath in and sighs, deep and contented. “I'm so happy right now.”
Joe wiggles his toes in Nick’s lap and quirks a smile at him. “I'm so sore right now,” he laughs, nudging Nick’s bare stomach with his foot. “I won’t be able to walk straight for days. I hope you're proud of yourself.”
Nick catches one of Joe’s ankles in his free hand and squeezes it lightly. “We’re okay, right?” he asks softly, because it’s something that’s been kind of at the back of his mind all night. He never expected things to move so quickly. Just five hours ago, they were hanging out with Kevin and the band, nothing but brothers and having a good time.
Joe’s silent for a minute, and Nick watches him light another cigarette, watches him push his mess of curls out of his face. “Nicky, how long have you…I mean…how long have you known? That you wanted me like this?” Joe asks instead of answering the question.
“I think part of me has always known. But I didn’t ever realize it until about a year ago,” he answers, a little confused. Joe smiles at him across the table, soft and open and honest.
“Well, then yeah, Nick. Yeah, we’re just fine. You gave yourself time to fight it, and you gave yourself time to give into it, and now here we are. I knew for sure about two seconds after the doctor told us you might die from…you know. I-I knew I could never live without you. I almost lost you that day, Nicky,” Joe tells him, and Nick almost laughs, because this is Joe. Goofy, adorable Joe who will do anything to get him to crack a smile, but right now, it’s like Joe’s just laying everything out there, getting out everything he couldn’t say to Nick until now.
“Nick, I was…I was so scared that day. God, like you don’t even know. I-you looked so broken, Nicky. I was afraid to touch you. You looked like you were going to snap, and I…”
“Shh….Joseph, stop it. That was four years ago, okay?” Nick says, cutting him off. He holds open his arms once Joe’s put out his last cigarette, and his older brother folds himself into his lap. “I'm good now; you know that. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“I’ll always have to worry about you,” Joe mumbles into his collar bone, but Nick just smiles, kissing the top of his head and running his hands up and down his back.
“Is this going to be our life now?” Nick wonders out loud, his arms wrapping tight around Joe. “I want this to be our life.”
Joe nods slowly, his head on Nick’s shoulder. “After it’s all over and when no one cares about us anymore, this will be our everyday. We can just laze around and not do anything but this for days at a time if you want,” Joe tells him, and Nick can feel Joe’s smile on his neck.
And when they finally make their way back to the bed, wrapped up in each other and a thousand whispered promises, Nick finally falls asleep, knowing that he has to be awake in another two hours, knowing that he’ll probably have to pry Joe out of bed with the jaws of life when it’s time to get up, but most of all knowing that what they have is permanent, that nothing in the world can break apart the commitment that they made tonight in touches and moans and kisses.
Pairing: Joe/Nick
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3 125 Words
Warnings: Cursing, Incest, Underage Smoking? PWP Haha
Prompt: Part of it originally written for Joick Trick or Treat. The prompt was "Nick knows he's horrible at being romantic, so even though it's Joe he's trying to romance, he asks Joe for help." This is basically my attempt at PWP comment!fic, but it somehow got FEELINGS in it. Haha
Summary: The way that the moonlight is hitting the dips in Joe’s face make him look ethereal, like he’s just too good to be true, and Nick just lays there staring up at him, trying hard to commit this moment to memory, trying to take in how ravished Joe looks right now.
Genre: Romance, PWP (But it somehow has FEELINGS), Fluff?
Nick knows it’s kind of wrong. Okay, he knows it’s really wrong. That’s why he does so many charities. He figures that if he gets on God’s good side enough, then he’ll be able to at least make a few mistakes. Or, you know, commit one giant, Bible busting sin and knock it all out in one go. Because there’s this thing. Something that he’s kind of been struggling with for a while, but not something that will just go away.
Like, okay, so Nick hasn’t really admitted it to himself in so many words, but he’s been around the block enough times to know what it means when his skin kind of tingles after Joe’s fingers brush his arm. He gets the significance behind his crave for his brother’s touch, and it kind of plagued him pretty intensely for a while, turned him into an introverted, brooding artist type while he tried to figure out what level of fucked up you have to be at to want to…you know…bone your own brother. Not too eloquent, but whatever. It’s what he feels.
So after months and days and weeks of turning it all over in his mind and pulling himself to the brink of oh my God I'm going to Hell, Nick has accepted it as who he is. He’s fully aware that what he’s planning to do is probably unforgivable and damning, but the more he’s thought about it, the more he’s realized that he can’t picture himself living without Joe, can’t imagine being with anyone else ever.
But now Nick’s kind of at his last resort. He knows that he really has to make things perfect, really has to impress Joe to get him to want to even think about something of a relationship, but he’s too serious, too practical, too Nick to be romantic in the way that he wants to be. It’s just really frustrating. He can’t think of anything sweet and cute that isn’t just plain cheesy. He sighs, slumping back on his bed moodily, laptop open on his legs.
“You okay, dude?” Joe asks him from across the room, looking up from his iPod with an eyebrow raised.
“What do you do when you want to impress…a girl? How do you impress a girl?” Nick blurts, scrubbing a tired hand over his face and lying to make this go a little smoother.
“Nick,” his older brother replies, fixing him with a sarcastic stare, “girls aren’t really my type. You know that. We had this conversation like a year ago.”
“Okay, fine, then. Kev isn’t here for me to ask, so can you just help me out?” Nick replies, his tone a little clipped, because Joe’s missing the point.
“Hot date?” Joseph asks with a smirk on his face. He crawls on the bed and pulls Nick’s computer into his lap. “Oh, Nicky, come on. You can do better than Google. ‘Romantic date ideas?’ Really?”
“I don’t know,” Nick says, and he feels like this is all stupid, like it’ll be a wasted effort anyway. “Okay, how about this. Are you a…umm…you know…a uhh…”
“You mean am I a pitcher or a catcher?” Joe asks with a little half smile, and Nick’s cheeks flare red at that, because, yeah, that’s what he was asking, but come on. Who just says that to their little brother? Joe laughs at his embarrassment, but keeps talking through it. “I'm usually the girlier one, if I'm being honest. Sorry, man. I'm the one people try to impress.”
Okay. Helpful. Nick knows that. That’s why he’s trying to impress him. “Well then give me some ideas. What would you want a guy to do for you?” Nick asks as Joe sobers up and stops laughing at his expense.
“I don’t know, umm, have you thought about just telling this girl how you feel? I'm not really big on grand gestures myself. Personally, I think they're a little lame. If a guy was trying to impress me, I’d rather him just, like, pin me to the wall one day when I wasn’t expecting it. Really rough me up, you know?” Joe says, and he’s blushing a little.
“’Rough you up?’” Nick asks, shifting a little on the bed and trying to pretend like he isn’t listening intently to Joe’s suggestions, like he’s not committing them to memory. Nick had thought of, like, dinner on a boat on a lake or something like that, but, wow, it’s probably a good thing that he didn’t do that, judging by what Joe’s telling him now.
Joe scratches the back of his neck lightly, and Nick watches as his blush deepens, staining his cheeks a dark cherry red. “Yeah, I uhh…I usually like it pretty rough.”
“How rough is ‘pretty rough?’” Nick asks, and Christ, this isn’t how he thought this conversation would go at all.
In Joe’s eyes, Nick can see him fighting with himself, trying to decide his next move. After a few seconds, a few beats of silence, Joe clears his throat shakily and pulls down the collar of his V-Neck, revealing a spattering of dark purple bruises across his shoulder and the few inches of chest that are exposed. Nick swallows heavily, moving closer to Joe subconsciously.
“Wh-who gave you those?” he hears himself asking, eyes still focused on a particularly prominent mark, where Joe’s collar bone meets his neck.
“Umm…Garbo and I were kind of fooling around the other day. He isn’t as tough with me as I usually like, but uhh…I kind of just needed to get off,” Joe says, his tone measured, like he’s incredibly aware of the darkening of Nick’s eyes at those words.
Nick doesn’t want to feel the spike of jealousy at that, doesn’t mean to let his anger seep through into his body language, but it’s like Nick thought he knew Joe. And, okay, he mostly knows everything about Joe, but this? This, he never would have imagined. It’s like Joe’s got this whole other life that Nick just never knew about. Like, okay, it’s not normal to know the details of your older brother’s sex life, but since when has Nick been normal? He honestly never expected Joe to be so…
Nick moves closer, eyes flickering from Joe’s eyes to his lips, and they're so close now that he can practically feel it when Joe takes a shaky breath in. “Nicky?” he asks, biting his bottom lip lightly and searching Nick’s eyes.
And then Nick’s just on him. It’s just like something in him snaps, and he’s everywhere at once, lips crushing into Joe’s, shoving his brother’s light body back onto the bed and crawling over him to straddle his hips. He bites down hard on Joe’s collar bone, just latches on and digs in his teeth, and when Joe moans underneath him, it sounds dirty and wanton and fuck.
“Off. Take it off,” Nick mutters, yanking at the thin material of Joe’s T-Shirt impatiently, so hard that it almost rips under his fingers.
Joe practically tears the shirt from his body, and Nick sinks his teeth deep into a spot on Joe’s neck. And God, this is wild and animalistic and Nick feels like he’s on fire, like all the pent up energy that he usually keeps so tightly in check is just bursting out of him.
“Niiick,” Joe keens, high in his throat, blunt fingers scrabbling at the back of Nick’s dress shirt. “Ugh, fuck, Nick. What are you doing?”
But it doesn’t sound like a protest. Joe’s voice is breathy and husky and he looks completely wrecked when Nick pulls back to stare down at him.
“Joe - Joseph, you're mine. You hear me? Mine,” Nick pants, and God he doesn’t even know what he’s saying right now. It’s just like this crazy possessiveness that came over him, but he knows he doesn’t want to stop. Doesn’t ever want to have to stop.
“Ngh, yes. God yes,” Joe moans, and before Nick can even think about processing that, Joe’s pulling him down by the dogtags to press their foreheads together. “Nick, I want you to fuck me. Oh, please, Nick. God, say you will, okay?”
Nick blinks, because whoa. He doesn’t really know what to say to that. Of course he wants to. He’s wanted to for like a year. But he’s hovering over his older brother, who’s covered in bruises put there by one of his best friends, and, okay, it’s kind of hard to reconcile this pulled out, frantic, gorgeous mess of a boy with the guy who taught him to play the guitar when he was like nine years old. And besides, he never expected this to just be so easy. Joe’s just lying there, begging for it, pleading and offering Nick everything he’s got.
“You get that if I do this…if I do this, it’s forever, okay?” Nick asks quietly, because he just has to make sure they're clear on what this is. He has to make sure that Joe knows that this is a lot bigger than just needing to get off in a dressing room with Garbo.
Joe stares at him like he’s in a trance, like Nick’s the best thing he’s ever seen, and Nick watches his face break into a grin. “Nick, I know. That’s why I'm asking you for this. I want to give you forever.”
Nick bites his lips and stares into his brother’s eyes and makes the only decision he knows how to make anymore.
“Fuck,” he says on an exhale. “Fuck, you're amazing.”
And then it’s back on again, back like they never even stopped to talk. Nick kisses Joe deep like he’s wanted to for so long, their tongues grappling and teeth knocking together like they just can’t be close enough, like they can’t get enough of whatever the hell this heat is between them. Nick lets himself get lost in sensation, lets his body be taken over by it.
There’s a point somewhere in there, somewhere between Nick wondering to himself just how rough he can be and Joe growling at him to just do it already, that Joe kind of reaches up with his hand on Nick’s shoulder, pulls him down, and mutters out, “Nicky, for once I want it slow. Make it last. Show me how much you love me.” Nick’s thrusts smooth out, take on a new, lazy rhythm, and he kisses Joe, kisses him long and deep, and his body says everything his words couldn’t.
It’s around three in the morning when Nick finally slumps against the headboard with Joe tangled around him. He’s carding his fingers through Joe’s hair absentmindedly, thoughts a jumbled mess of oh my God that just happened and I don’t think I'm ever going to be able to move again. They’re both panting and exhausted and covered in a sheen of sweat, and when Nick ducks his head to look at his brother, Joe’s got this wide, goofy, blissed out smile on his face.
“I love you,” Nick mumbles through exhausted lips with a small, simple half smile.
Joe tilts his head up, and for a second, Nick is just kind of lost in his brother’s doe-eyed stare, but then their lips connect on a sigh, and Nick allows his eyes to drop closed, his tongue sliding against Joe’s in a smooth, sensual drag. When Joe starts to pull back, Nick follows, maneuvering his body back over his brother’s. When he feels Joe’s hand pushing gently at his chest, he untangles himself reluctantly.
“Nicky, I need a break,” Joe says, laughing lightly. “You gotta give me a chance to breathe. We’ve been going at it for like three hours.”
Nick flops back on the bed with a huff, slinging an arm over his face and trying to slow his breathing, because, yeah, it’s been kind of off and on all night, switching back and forth between wild and frantic to soft and gentle. They’ve hardly taken a break yet. Which is awesome, but, you know, kind of tiring.
When he opens his eyes again, Joe’s sitting up next to him with the sheet just barely covering his hips, and Nick slides a hand up the smooth contours of his back, pressing his fingers lightly into a new bruise that’s blossoming there. The way that the moonlight is hitting the dips in Joe’s face make him look ethereal, like he’s just too good to be true, and Nick just lays there staring up at him, trying hard to commit this moment to memory, trying to take in how ravished Joe looks right now. He’s beautiful, gorgeous, and Nick can’t believe he’s so lucky, can’t believe someone like him could be with someone like Joe.
“You're my girl, Joey,” Nick tells him, his hand falling to Joe’s lap, and Joe catches it and squeezes, lacing their fingers.
“You wanna come outside with me? Get some fresh air?” Joe asks softly, and Nick feels something curling in his stomach, something warm and comfortable and permanent.
“Yeah, you go ahead, though. I'm just gonna check my levels real quick. I'm right behind you,” he says, watching as Joe stands and plucks his boxers from where they're hanging on one of the lamp shades, pulling them on with a little laugh.
Nick drags himself out of bed with a groan, surprised at how shaky he is on his legs, and stumbles into the bathroom, flinching a little when he flips on the florescent light. He looks at himself in the mirror, just really kind of stands there and stares, because, well, he definitely looks the part of “I just had wild, crazy sex for a couple hours straight.” His hair is pulled out and mussed, his shoulders red from Joe’s fingers and teeth, his lips swollen and dark, and there’s a huge hickey forming at the base of his throat. He’s still stark naked as he pricks his finger and waits for the sample to beep.
Nick tosses his kit in the general direction of his suitcase after he leaves the bathroom and starts hunting around the room for his boxers. He finds them sitting on the desk across the room, and he hops from foot to foot as he tries to yank them up without falling over. God, his legs feel like jelly right now.
When he slips through the sliding glass door, Joe’s sitting at the little glass table with his feet propped up in the other chair, smoking a cigarette while he stares out at the city rushing by underneath them. Nick takes a few seconds to just watch him be, watch him living, before he slips into the other chair, placing Joe’s feet gently in his lap.
“Everything okay?” Joe asks softly, sliding the pack of Marlboros across the table to him.
“Yeah, it was fine. Came up at one-twelve. Can I use your lighter?” Nick asks around the filter in his mouth. He isn’t a huge smoker, but he knows that Joe has been for a few months. He stares at the smoke that curls around him as he tilts his head back to exhale. He takes a breath in and sighs, deep and contented. “I'm so happy right now.”
Joe wiggles his toes in Nick’s lap and quirks a smile at him. “I'm so sore right now,” he laughs, nudging Nick’s bare stomach with his foot. “I won’t be able to walk straight for days. I hope you're proud of yourself.”
Nick catches one of Joe’s ankles in his free hand and squeezes it lightly. “We’re okay, right?” he asks softly, because it’s something that’s been kind of at the back of his mind all night. He never expected things to move so quickly. Just five hours ago, they were hanging out with Kevin and the band, nothing but brothers and having a good time.
Joe’s silent for a minute, and Nick watches him light another cigarette, watches him push his mess of curls out of his face. “Nicky, how long have you…I mean…how long have you known? That you wanted me like this?” Joe asks instead of answering the question.
“I think part of me has always known. But I didn’t ever realize it until about a year ago,” he answers, a little confused. Joe smiles at him across the table, soft and open and honest.
“Well, then yeah, Nick. Yeah, we’re just fine. You gave yourself time to fight it, and you gave yourself time to give into it, and now here we are. I knew for sure about two seconds after the doctor told us you might die from…you know. I-I knew I could never live without you. I almost lost you that day, Nicky,” Joe tells him, and Nick almost laughs, because this is Joe. Goofy, adorable Joe who will do anything to get him to crack a smile, but right now, it’s like Joe’s just laying everything out there, getting out everything he couldn’t say to Nick until now.
“Nick, I was…I was so scared that day. God, like you don’t even know. I-you looked so broken, Nicky. I was afraid to touch you. You looked like you were going to snap, and I…”
“Shh….Joseph, stop it. That was four years ago, okay?” Nick says, cutting him off. He holds open his arms once Joe’s put out his last cigarette, and his older brother folds himself into his lap. “I'm good now; you know that. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“I’ll always have to worry about you,” Joe mumbles into his collar bone, but Nick just smiles, kissing the top of his head and running his hands up and down his back.
“Is this going to be our life now?” Nick wonders out loud, his arms wrapping tight around Joe. “I want this to be our life.”
Joe nods slowly, his head on Nick’s shoulder. “After it’s all over and when no one cares about us anymore, this will be our everyday. We can just laze around and not do anything but this for days at a time if you want,” Joe tells him, and Nick can feel Joe’s smile on his neck.
And when they finally make their way back to the bed, wrapped up in each other and a thousand whispered promises, Nick finally falls asleep, knowing that he has to be awake in another two hours, knowing that he’ll probably have to pry Joe out of bed with the jaws of life when it’s time to get up, but most of all knowing that what they have is permanent, that nothing in the world can break apart the commitment that they made tonight in touches and moans and kisses.